ANSWERED: qu on shaking hands and on Ablution (Wudu')

[Mizz_AFG]

I need some help my fellow brothers and sisters

I know this hadith of the prophet (PBUH), that he said He didn't shake hands with women. I need to know the reasoning behind this, because I have to prove it to this Shia muslim who thinks I'm making up stuff.

Also for the wudu' part, I need to know the reasoning behind how touching a non-maharam invalidates one's wudu'

My sources are according to the Shafi madhub

[UmmIbrahimIsa]

assalamu alaikum wr wb

taken from http://www.sunnipath.com

Shaking hands with the opposite gender

Answered by Sidi Faraz Rabbani
Generally in the West, shaking hands is a polite form of greeting, and not shaking hands is often considered rude. Many times, non-Muslim men want to shake my hand (I am female). When there is an opportunity to explain my religion, I do. But sometimes, there is not this opportunity or their gesture to shake my hand happens in front of an audience, such as at a banquet or during a formal introduction. I do not want to be rude and give Muslims a bad image (I especially do not want to be condescending). How do I go about this awkward situation?

Assalamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullah,

The ruling across the madhhabs is that it is not permitted to shake hands with someone non-related of the opposite sex. This is sometimes difficult to implement: the ruling of impermissibility remains, however, and one should:

a) Ask Allah to make things easy; and

b) Seek the means to be able to avoid falling into the impermissible, for Allah not only commanded us to avoid the sinful but also to take the means that enable one to do so.


Faraz Rabbani.

[UmmIbrahimIsa]

Answered by Sidi Faraz Rabbani

I'M SORRY, BUT I DON'T SHAKE HANDS !!

Not Just Friends: Protect Your Relationships from Infidelity And Heal the Trauma of Betrayal


"I'm sorry, but I don’t shake hands with members of the opposite sex." This line can be heard coming from Muslims working in office settings everywhere.

Islamic standards of modesty warn against even casual physical contact between unmarried men and women. This, of course, can cause uncomfortable situations in places of business where it is customary to shake hands with colleagues. But Muslims have long known that even casual, seemingly innocuous contact as well as casual behavior between the sexes can lead a person astray into either marital infidelity or inappropriate pre-marital relationships.


Until recently, it seemed that it was only Muslims that felt this way. But in her book, Not Just Friends: Protect Your Relationships From Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal, Shirley Glass gives credence to time-honored Muslim traditions on the issue of inter-gender office relations.


Glass' main thesis is, for all intents and purposes, Islamic in character. She asserts that unguarded, casual office relationships between men and women often lead down a slippery slope towards extra-marital affairs. And according to Glass, this phenomenon does not apply solely to the spouse with a wandering eye; even strong, nurturing marriages can be rocked by office romances.


Glass, who has studied martial infidelity over the last 25 years of her career as a psychotherapist, found that 25 percent of women and 44 percent of men have strayed from their marriages. And although the cliché of the office romance has been around for quite some time, Glass says that the typical lustful physical relationships that often develop are but one aspect of illicit office behavior. For Glass, it is the more personal friendships that develop in the office environment that pose a greater threat to marital stability.


Speaking recently to Connie Chung on CNN, Glass noted, "The crisis is that men and women are working with people that they respect, people that they have intellectual interests with, people that they share excitement over projects, frustration over deadlines. And so the relationship begins as a platonic friendship that's very deep and rich. And what happens is that, over time, they begin to share more and more of their personal lives together."


This type of intimate sharing of personal thoughts and feelings is, Glass asserts, more detrimental to marriage because, unlike casual sexual encounters, these interactions create strong bonds between the people. And once this level of personal intimacy grows, the dreaded sexual affair is just on the horizon.

For Glass, the answer to this problem is to establish what she calls "walls and windows" by which married couples agree to keep emotional distance from people outside the marriage while keeping open channels within the marriage.

The resemblance to Islamic standards of modesty is uncanny, although Glass does fail to call for the true Islamic solution, which erects clear boundaries between the permissible and impermissible.


Glass is just one of several authors to recently take a more conservative track regarding marriage and relationships. And in many instances, themes that have elements of solid Islamic common sense are finding favor over the more liberal trends that have predominated in popular culture.

Shirley Glass

source: http://www.sunnipath.com

[UmmIbrahimIsa]

Shaking Hands With the Opposite Sex Is Haram, & The Importance of Holding On To One's Deen

Answered by Shaykh Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf, California


Many brothers ask by email about the issue of shaking hands with women in professional settings where, they say, not doing so would harm or impede their ability to function. They may not get hired, promoted, or accepted in professional areas (such as law) where Muslim presence is essential. I checked what some major contemporary traditional fuqaha, such as Shaykh Taqi Usmani and some of my teachers in Damascus, had to say, and they are very firm on this point. But the brothers who asked are saying that such answers belie a lack of understanding of "Western realities." They are saying that it is not possible to function in professional Western work environments without shaking hands with women. What would you answer and advise about this issue, Sayyidi?


Assalamu alaykum

In the name of the Inspirer of truth.

No, it is not permissible to shake hands with women at all. There are many reports from the Prophet Sallallahi alayhi wasallam that he never shook the hands of any women, despite his status as a Prophet. All the allegiance [bay'a] he took was either without holding the hand or with a cloth tied around it. He explicitly informed the women when they extended their hands to him that he did not shake hands with women. [See Muhammad Ibn Sa'd, The Women in Madina, Chapter One: The manner in which the Messenger of Allah received women's allegiance]

Hence, we can find no leeway to change this ruling. Many non-Islamic practices are rife in the business and corporate world. We are constantly asked about the permissibility of sitting at the same table with a client where alcohol is served; the permissibility of holding private meetings with women behind closed doors without any third person in the room, performing Zuhr instead of Jumu'ah if one is occupied in a meeting at the time of the Khutbah; shedding the hijab to seek employment; shaving the beard for such purposes and so on; not to mention usury and interest bearing loans. The list is endless. So, how does a person want to assimilate, and sell his hereafter for this transient world.

Yes, certain "fatwas" are to be found on these issues from so called scholars. Much of the religion has already been compromised in a such a way. We are aware of a Masjid in a city in California where "Islamic Dating" is promoted. Their practice is backed by seemingly convincing logical arguments which sounds very attractive, but how far can the matter be taken, and how much of the religion will remain if this course continues to be followed?

No body said it was easy to follow the din in the twenty-first century; whether one is in a Muslim country or the West. Didn't the Prophet Sallalahu alayhi wasallam say that a time will come when a person following his religion will be like one holding on to a cinder, and did he not say this world is a prison for a believer and a Paradise for the non-believer. One must remember that through perseverance and refraining from sin [sabr ani 'l-ma'siyah] there are great rewards to be gained, despite the apparent monetary or such losses one may have to incur in this world.

The regular American [since the issue of shaking hands with a women is a greater problem in America] is normally very understanding and accommodating of other people's religious requirements. If politely informed, they normally act with understanding and are prepared to be more accommodating.

If the scholars begin to offer discretion and allowance on certain issues which are rigid in the Shari'a under the excuse of changing times, then how will the original rulings in those issues ever be revived? The sunna and proper practices will be lost for ever and innovations will take their place. Those who attempt to adhere to the correct rulings of Shari'ah in these issues would feel isolated and weak.

Therefore, it must be made clear that the traditional jurists [muftis] who are not able to give discretions in such issues is not due to some short-sightedness or ignorance. It is merely to keep the religion intact and whole. Yes, if someone in certain situations is forced to act contrary to the sunna then that is a personal problem in which tawba [repentance] should be made.

Whoever fears Allah, Allah will make a way out for them.

And He knows best.

Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf


source: http://www.sunnipath.com

[UmmIbrahimIsa]

Source: http://www.sunnipath.com

Shaking Hands Again

Answered by Shaykh Abdurrahman Ibn Yusuf


It says that it is haram to shake hands unless necessary. Can you please give me an example of necessary? Is a job interview considered such?




Also: [See attached answers.]

Assalamu alaykum

In the name of Allah, the Inspirer of truth.

We must keep our trust and gaze on Allah. It is He who will decide which job we will get and which one is beneficial for us. Whatever he wills will happen and not what others want.

There are many ways to get around this dilemma. One brother I know carries a handkerchief with him, especially when he knows that such a situation may arise. He does not necessarily say anything but the other person immediately thinks that he may have an allergy or a cold and does not even extend their hands.

Sometimes, they could be informed of the religious reasons, and that would not be the wise thing to do all the time. Hence, the first idea seems better.

As it has been stated before, one must try his best to avoid sin. And if one commits it then one must repent for it.

Another brother informed me that he got a job after being interviewed by three women. He did not shake hands with any of them.

Yes, if the situation is such that if the person did not shake hands with the women he would be out on the street, then it may be permissible.

Wassalam
Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf

[UmmIbrahimIsa]

Assalamu alaikum wr wb

source http://www.sunnipath.com

Shaking Hands with Women

Answered by Sh. Muhammad Sa'id Ramadan al-Buti


What is the ruling of shaking hands with the opposite sex. Especially in the corporate world where refusing to shake hands is considered offensive.




The Messenger of Allah had never shaken hands nor touched a woman's hand at all. Accordingly, scholars ruled that it is forbidden for men to shake hands with non-mahram women. In cases of necessity, it is permissible to do so. I, however, know that what some people in America consider a necessity, such as it being considered an insult not to shake a woman's hand, is not a necessity.

[UmmIbrahimIsa]

http://www.sunnipath.com

Is it sunna to shake hands with for both men and women?




Yes, it is sunna mu’akkadah (confirmed sunna) to shake hands when men meet with men and women meet with women. The hadiths about it are very well-known and are mentioned in the Adkhar of Imam al-Nawawi and other books where it mentions its rulings. So the questioner should refer to such works because they have many benefits.


- Amjad Rasheed

[UmmIbrahimIsa]

I need some help my fellow brothers and sisters

I know this hadith of the prophet (PBUH), that he said He didn't shake hands with women. I need to know the reasoning behind this, because I have to prove it to this Shia muslim who thinks I'm making up stuff.

Also for the wudu' part, I need to know the reasoning behind how touching a non-maharam invalidates one's wudu'

My sources are according to the Shafi madhub

Assalamu alaikum wr wb

done, answered all above..... But to be honest with you the person will probably not care, because they'll just keep on doing whatever they're doing. sometimes even when you present proof to them they still are so attached and used to the way they are, they'll insist that they know what they're doing and that perhaps in sunni its not allowed yet in shia it is. Allahu Alim.

most of the sources I gave above or the answers are from a hanafi/shafi point of view.
as for the wudu part its cont' below.

---
What is the basis of the Shafi'i ruling that touching women nullifies wudu?

Answered by Shaykh Amjad Rasheed
What is the basis of the Shafi'i ruling that touching women1 nullifies wudu? Did the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) not kiss some of his wives and then pray without making wudu?




The well-known basis for our Imams' ruling that touching a non-mahram nullifies wudu is Allah's saying: “Or if you touched women”. Lexicologists have stated that "touch" (lams) can refer to touching with one's hand as well as to sexual intercourse. The proof [that it is used to refer to touching with one's hand] is:

a) Allah's saying “They touched him (lamasu) with their hands”

b) the Prophet's saying to the Companion Ma'iz upon confessing that he committed adultery: “perhaps you kissed her or touched her (lamasta)”

c) the hadith “The adultery of the hand is touch (lams)”, in addition to other examples from lexicology and jurisprudence.

In the book Al-Majmu', after mentioning the above, Imam al-Nawawi says: “Our companions said, and we confirm that [wudu' is nullified upon] all kinds of lams, whether the lams is by hand or through intercourse. Imams Malik, Shafi'i and their companions present as proof the hadith of Malik ibn Shahab Salim bin Abdullah bin 'Umar his father who said: 'A man's kissing his wife or touching her with his hand are both considered touch (mulamasa). Therefore, whoever kisses his wife or touches her with his hand, should make wudu.' And as you can see, this chain of narration is at the utmost limit of authenticity.”

As for what the questioner mentioned regarding the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) kissing his wives, then praying, this hadith is narrated by Habib bin Abi Thabit Sayyida Ayesha (Allah be pleased with her). It is a weak hadith according to the consensus of the scholars.

Imam al-Nawawi mentions in Al-Majmu': “In response to their using Habib bin Thabit's hadith as proof, there are two possible replies:

a) The best and most well-known reply is that according to the consensus of the memorizers of hadith it is a weak hadith. Of those who rate the hadith as weak are Sufyan al-Thawri, Yahya bin Sa'eid al-Quttan, Ahmad bin Hanbal, Abu Dawoud and Abu Bakr al-Neisabury, Abu al-Hasan al-dar Qutni, Abu Bakr Bayhaqi and other early and late scholars. Ahmad bin Hanbal, Abu bakr al-Neisabury and others say: Habib made a mistake between kissing while fasting and kissing while on wudu'. Abu Dawoud narrated that Sufyan al-Thawri said that Habib only narrated on the authority of 'Urwa al-Muzani (meaning that he did not relate from 'Urwa bin al-Zubair) who is not known. What has been rigorously authenticated is Ayesha's hadith that “The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) used to kiss while fasting.”

b) The second possible reply is that if the hadith is rigorously authenticated, then it is taken to mean kissing with a barrier in between. In this way all proofs are taken into consideration.”


- Amjad Rasheed


(Translated by Lida Kahi)

1 What is meant here is the opposite sex.



السؤال: ما دليل الشافعية على أن لمس المرأة ناقض للوضوء ؟ ألم يقبل رسول الله صلّى الله تعالى عليه وسلّم بعض نسائه ثم صلى من غير أن يتوضأ ؟

الجواب : دليل أئمتنا على أن لمس الأجنبية ناقض للوضوء بالشروط المعروفة هو قوله تعالى : ( أو لامستم النساء ) قالوا : واللمس يطلق على الجس باليد كما قد يراد به الجماع كما صرح به أهل اللغة, ودليل ذلك قوله تعالى: ( فلمسوه بأيديهم ) وقول النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم للصحابي ماعز رضي الله عنه لما أقرَّ على نفسه بالزنا :" لعلك قبلت أو لمست ". وفي الحديث الآخر :" واليد زناها اللمس " . وغير ذلك من شواهد اللغة والشرع ، قال الإمام النووي في "المجموع" بعد أن ذكر ما تقدم :" قال أصحابنا : ونحن نقول بمقتضى اللمس مطلقاً , فمتى التقت البشرتان انتقض سواء كان بيد أو جماع , واستدل مالك ثم الشافعي وأصحابهما بحديث مالك عن ابن شهاب عن سالم بن عبد الله بن عمر عن أبيه قال :" قبلة الرجل امرأته وجسها بيده من الملامسة , فمن قبل امرأته أو جسها بيده فعليه الوضوء ". وهذا إسناد في نهاية من الصحة كما تراه ". اهـ

أما ما ذكره السائل من أن النبي صلى اله عليه وسلم كان يقبل نساءه ثم يصلي فرواه حبيب بن أبي ثابت عن السيدة عائشة رضي الله عنها ، وهو حديث ضعيف باتفاق أئمة الحديث كما قال الإمام النووي في "المجموع" ، ونص عبارته :" وأما الجواب عن احتجاجهم بحديث حبيب بن أبي ثابت فمن وجهين ؛ ( أحسنهما وأشهرهما ) : أنه حديث ضعيف باتفاق الحفاظ , ممن ضعفه : سفيان الثوري ويحيى بن سعيد القطان وأحمد بن حنبل وأبو داود وأبو بكر النيسابوري وأبو الحسن الدارقطني وأبو بكر البيهقي وآخرون من المتقدمين والمتأخرين . قال أحمد بن حنبل وأبو بكر النيسابوري وغيرهما : غلط حبيب من قبلة الصائم إلى القبلة في الوضوء , وقال أبو داود : روي عن سفيان الثوري أنه قال : ما حدثنا حبيب إلا عن عروة المزني يعني لا عن عروة بن الزبير وعروة المزني مجهول , وإنما صح من حديث عائشة :" أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم كان يقبل وهو صائم ". ( والجواب الثاني ) لو صح لحمل على القبلة فوق حائل جمعاً بين الأدلة ". اهـ

[Mizz_AFG]

Thank you so much sister!!


U've helped me out so much :D

[UmmIbrahimIsa]

assalamu alaikum wr wb

no problem... just did a search for you on sunnipath and was able to find it all within a couple of mins...so it was no trouble at all...glad i could help.
lets just hope that it will help convince that person that this is right and that they are misunderstood....or they have a misunderstanding about it.
Allahu Alim