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eat-halal guy
22-06-2004, 11:28 PM
The salam deficit

UmmIbrahimIsa, sunniforum.com


Narrated Abdullah bin Amr (RA): A man asked the Prophet (SAW), “Whose Islam is good, or what sort of deeds of Islam are good?” The Prophet (SAW) replied, “To feed others and to greet those who you know and those who you do not know.” (Bukhari, Book of Beliefs)

On that account, why is it that whenever we go anywhere, we only greet the people we know, without saying a thing to the other Muslims that walk by us? Or if you're in a masjid and people are ‘salaaming’ each other, they only go to the people they know, and even if you pass on the salams to them with a ‘how are you?’, they give you an odd look, ignore you and walk away, or say 'are you talking to me?'

“Yes, I’m saying Assalamu alaikum. How are you?” They look at me like they don’t understand Arabic or like they don’t know how to say ‘salam’ or ‘how are you?’ Then they just give me this really odd look and walk away.

I think to myself, “why bother? I did my part.” Then I wonder, “was it my clothes? Were they wrinkly? Did they have a good scent or a bad scent? Was my hair showing or not showing for her not to respond? Perhaps she doesn’t like speaking to people that wear hijabs, or maybe it was because of my Bell’s Palsy. Perhaps she didn't know about my situation or maybe she didn't want to talk to a nice person like me because she thought I was a freak or something…”

Yeah, it hurts. But that's a part of life.

That happened to me for a reason. Allah's testing me to see how committed I am to Him and if I'm still remembering Him and believing in Him. Yet, yes still, I am. Others are being tested too by Allah to see how they handle this, and how they treat me, as to how I treat others with this test and to see how patient I am in dealing with it. It happens, and it's only for a little bit of a struggle.

But still, I would like people within my community, especially the aunties and uncles, to make me feel welcomed when I come to the masjid. Instead of me sending out a great greeting of salams, I would like a great greeting in return, instead of a silent nothing where they just mumble a ‘oh hello’ or say something like ‘Khuda Hafiz’… ‘OK, bye bye, go now...’

Whenever this happens, I remember this hadith (quoted above), and how we should greet people we know, as well as greet the ones we don't know. Because after all, the people you do know, you didn't know them before, and by you talking to them, you now know them. By greeting the ones you don't know, you make them feel welcomed, as well as follow the sunnah of the Prophet (SAW) in being kind towards your Muslim brothers and sisters.

Insha'Allah we can all remember this and benefit from this. The next time someone sends you a salams in a mall, on the street, at a halal restaurant, at a masjid or anywhere else, return their salams, whether you know them or not, as a smile is 100 times more pleasing than a sour face.

Allahu Alam.

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Mariah
23-06-2004, 09:14 AM
or maybe it was because of my Bell’s Palsy. Perhaps she didn't know about my situation or maybe she didn't want to talk to a nice person like me because she thought I was a freak or something…”

Yeah, it hurts. But that's a part of life.


Adopted from a posting by UmmIbrahimIsa on sunniforum.com

:salam:

True as it is.. thats the sad part of how we react to those who, look a little different to us, and those who are a little disabled, because of something Allah has given them...

Our stupid manarisms and mentality will have us staring no correct myself *gawping* at them as if they come from mars.. its horrible, iv noticed it more recently as theres this group thats been set up to help the disabled people in our community and if they are present at a public function, you see people giving funny looks and if they do try make a conversation, they talk to them as if they dont have the foggyiest in sucha patronising manner its reali just damn rude to put it in simple words..

They have feelings as much as we do and why we have to indefferent them or react to them wierdly i just do not understand..

Anyways im rambling.. :insh: Allah give all the ignorant people more understanding and the ability to accept all kinds of people, whatever illness Allah has given them and wherever they come from into their society without making a big spectacle of making them feel left out.

Omar_Farouk
23-06-2004, 10:53 AM
Aameen

phoenix
23-06-2004, 05:05 PM
Aameen
Assalamalikum Sister, So true to indeed. some people really do need a lesson in courtesy. it is really sad that people do such kind of thing. My kid brother (he is 13 and disabled) he keeps coming back and telling me how mean people are. There was a time when he was very shy to even go for prayers and now MashaAllah he has become so bold because of some of the good people (yes there are a lot of them) who have encouraged him and now he doesnt mind going five times a day with his chair to the mosque.

It is really only the ignorant who do stuff like this. May Allah guide them to the straight path. Ameen.

Raeesa
24-06-2004, 10:28 PM
Ameen

Very very true. Whenever that happens to me I remember a hadith i learnt a while back...
Al Baadiu-bisalaami bareeeum minal kubri
the first to say Salaam is free from pride :)

Theres a lot of different types of people out there. Yes there are cruel people who don't have any common courtesy, and the one who greets them with Salaam is an example.

I personally think the greeting of peace is probably one of the nicest and most finest things about Islam. There are people who look at you odd and act as if they dont understand Arabic, but all it takes is one Muslimah on the street to return your salaam with a smile of sisterhood (or well brotherhood for the brothers) that can make your day.

And may Allah keep your brother strong Phoenix...ameen

Zain121
25-06-2004, 11:41 AM
As Salaamu Alaykum,

Alhumdulillah, there are many people there that do act upon the Hadeeth of spreding Islam. The community and area i live in is Masha-allah filled with Muslims, and I get to say Salaams maybe over a hundred times a day, without any exaggeration.

The word Salaam itself is so unique and beautiful, it is not just a greeting but is also a Du'aa and supplication for the follow Muslim Brother and Sister.

As pointed out although there are Masha-allah many people who spread Salaam, i have also seen people that preach to be very Islamic and portray an very Sufi image. But when Salaam is said to them they look you up and down, as if trying to put a value on you.

It's a shame that these are the peope from whom people are taking their Islam from. These are the people to whom non-muslims look at and understand our religion. Whereas they portray an Islam which is not that of the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam.

I pray that we look sincerely consider the conditions of saying and replying Salaams. That the condition be of being a "Muslim" and not being 'rich', or of a 'high post' and definitely not based on what sect of group we are from or what our cultural background is. Because Islam came to unite people, and Salaam was one method of achieving this beautiful task.

May Allah unite us all and let us put our differences aside, as well as our cultural backgrounds. Ameen.

Wa Alaykum As Salaam.

Raeesa
25-06-2004, 12:27 PM
..ameen

we are all truly equal in Allah's eyes.
Just a thought rather than taking it in a bad way, i no it can be upsetting to be put down over and over again, but its also a brilliant oppurtunity to change the community you live in.

Seriously a tree grows from 2 nuts standing thier ground :)

mansoursahak
16-12-2005, 01:27 AM
salam

I agree with you. Were I live that happans. That is why some people do not want to come to the mosque because of the injuctes. I still go to the mosque. How could i not go to the mosque I am welcomed in ALLAH(SW) house.

Cloud_Strife
12-01-2007, 06:39 PM
My kid brother (he is 13 and disabled) he keeps coming back and telling me how mean people are. There was a time when he was very shy to even go for prayers .

Masha'Allah. May Allah give him,and your whole family sabr and strong iman, forgive you all your sins, and grant your brother jannatul firdaus.
I can identify with him on the being shy to go to the masjid part. I personally am a bit socio-phobic (don't like certain social situations),so I can understand that. But alhamdulillah, it's great to hear about your brother like that.

abdallah87
15-01-2007, 05:37 AM
Assalamualaikum,

so true..nowadays although people do give salaams to strangers in masjid but its rare, but alhamdulillah here , the good thing about the locals here is that many of them have this habit of saying Salam when they enter a shop,or other places when they encounter unknown people...

da-da
03-04-2007, 09:17 AM
Brothers lacking confidance :$ won't salam those that they don't know.
I would also so say they are the least productive when it comes to propgating islam.
Be :p bothers and sister and say salam to all when you enter in to the congragational prayer area.

Maddy1
06-09-2011, 09:29 AM
Ameen .. Masha ALLAH you share very great article !!