Wisdom and good manners in explaining to other people

[Simon Iskander]

:salam:

One thing I often wonder about is how to apply the shari`ah to all aspects of one's life whilst explaining it in a gentle and wise way to those around you. I think I get a lot of waswasa, because sometimes I find myself thinking "Had I done this and this, that would not have happened or my parents would not think this" etc, which is not particularly good as according to the `ulama it implies dissatisfaction with what has Allah decreed for a person.

Some examples of what I mean:

Shaykh Hamza Yusuf was discussing how some Muslims may respond to a guest (say a non-Muslim) bringing a bottle of wine as a gift to their house. He said some people may say "astaghfirallah... get out... go to hell" etc. Then he related the story of the man who brought a bottle of wine to the Prophet :saw: and how he :saw: responded. He :saw: said to the man "Did you not know that Allah had forbidden this [alcohol]?" There was more to the incident but I don't recall all of it at the moment.

Shaykh Habib `Ali al-Jifri was discussing how an incident where a Muslim man was in a situation where he had to shake a non-Muslim lady's hand. The man responded to the woman "I'm sorry, I cannot shake your hand, as it infringes on the rights of my wife." Then Habib related what the lady said when she went home to her husband [which again I cannot remember at the moment]. But the man's response had a positive effect on her...

I think as new Muslims the legal rulings of the shari`ah are usually made clear to us, but aspects of ihsan and akhlaq are not so emphasised (though I can only really speak from my experience).

I suppose in a way this is why it so important to find a shaykh in tasawuff as early as possible.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

:ws:

[prashant_kumar]

You may gather the verses, from the Quran, which asks the Rasul to say. Such verses generally begin with ‘Say’ or ‘Qool’. Then put them in two sections: ones which revealed at Mecca and the ones at Medina. You may try to understand the tone, selection of words and the manner of presentation. I believe you will find good results.

The entire Quran is Allah’s speech. He addressed the non-Muslims too. Try to understand the difference between Allah’s manner and the manner of the Rasul (as per those verses mentioned above). You should also remember while you talk to a non-Muslim that there is also a big difference between you and the Prophet from authoritative point of view.

[Simon Iskander]

:salam:

:jazak: for your response.

Have any traditional Sunni `ulama written books on this topic? :insh: one book I am trying to find is Two Treatises: Mutual Reminding and Good Manners by Imam `Abdallah ibn `Alawi al-Haddad.

:ws:

[noor]

there is a lecture on lightuponlight.com by shaykh riyadh on respect and good islamic manners. check it out inshallah it will help.