step children

[abulahyah]

as salaamu alaykum wa rahma tullaah,
i didn't know how to responed: one of our brothers isn't wanting to care for one of his wife's children anymore. the child belongs to her and her exhusband. it isn't the money. its the stress the child causes on the mother (with bad behavior, not listening etc.) which is causing stress on the marriage because the upsetness of the mother is going to everyone. it hurts the brother constantly seeing his wife in this state. but when the child isn't in the home the mother is at ease and the house becomes at ease as well. i asked does the child have any mental disabilies or something to this matter; no was the answer. our brother wants to send the child to the father (who is a muslim) but the mother doesn't want that.
i ask of each of you to help in this matter. and please give proof
barakallaahu fikum.

[2many questions]

The hanafi book of fiqh qudoori states that custody of a child after a breakup in marriage goes to the mother, if she does not marry. For a boy this custody will last until the child can eat, drink, dress and purify himself (istinja). And for a girl until she reaches puberty. After this the child will stay full time with the father (mother will obviously have visitation rights).

If however the mother marries someone other than a close male relative of the child (for example the child's father's brother), then she has lost the right to custody. The order of custody rights goes thus: mother, grandmother (maternal), grandmother (paternal), sisters, aunts (maternal), aunts (paternal).

Same rule of marriage applies to the above women, they only get custody if married to a close relative of the child, or not married.

If there are no women to care for the child then the right goes to the men in order of: Father, grandfather (paternal), uncles (paternal), brothers, sons of paternal uncles.

Hope it isn't too confusing and it helps.

The prophet SAW is reported to have said, "You (mother) are most deserving of the child as long as you do not marry." Abu Dawood

You could tell the mother if it eases her conscience that she does not have to be the full tim caregiver for the child since she has remarried.