somewhatinspired
02-05-2007, 06:34 AM
i am nearly 19 years old,
my mother converted to Islam when i was under 10 years old, my parents have been divorced since i was a baby. i am an American.
i was exposed to Islam at a very young age, and when i was around 13 i decided i wanted to be a Muslim. i took shahada, and that was about it. i have lived with my non Muslim father since i was about 8. and my step father (from india) has treated me like a piece of furniture ever since i can remember. i assume it is because i remind him of what he considers to be the past of my mother.
this is not the issue..just some background.
i grew up like any normal American... school, video games, skateboarding, organized sports. then i began playing music. when i was a little older i began smoking marijuana and tried drinking a few times....my father pretty much just let me run free like most other American parents. and my mother had in practice moved on and did the best she could to continue her new family. our relationship was horrible, i would visit her and attend jummah with my younger siblings but when my vacation was over i would fly back home and slowly lose grip on Islam. in many ways i received much more support from my father to be what i have become than from my mother supporting what i should be. but its my fault (if you can blame an 8 year old child)because i chose not to live with my stepfather who wouldn't accept me because he wasn't recognized by me as my father.
now that you have a taste of the confusion that rests in my mind ...let me present my "issue"
in high school i met a girl, her name is sam.
although in the back of my mind i knew it was haram, i began dating her.
she was a confused girl half a year older than me and i promised her the world....
you have to understand that my non Muslim father thought that i was homosexual before this because i wasn't interested in dating lots of girls and looking at porn magazines.
i was very naive when we met.
never the less a relationship continued. we were high school sweethearts of the loser population in my school(neither of us being very popular)
when our relationship started i was very clear about my belief in Islam(HOW IRONIC..(and immature)) and she was very interested. i look back at how stupid i was to confess my faith to someone who is strictly haram to me in the context of Islam.
we have been together for nearly four years now.
since then her family has abandoned her for being 18, graduated, and supposedly adult. she has lived with my father and i for over a year now.
she wants to be a muslim, and i want to be a better muslim, and we cant just live unmarried forever.
i have no money for college or any way to support myself on terms greater than minimum wage. and my father is beginning to get tired of us in his house.
we both pay rent.
a while back i broke in and told my mother of my girlfriend. she flipped out and wouldn't leave me alone about it untill she was convinced we were seperated. we are not separated at all.
minus my fathers small amount of support we have nobody.
i went to jummah for the first time by myself last Friday, and it was very nice.
problem being the nearest mosque is 2 cities away. it is a salafi group(i know very little about different groups within Islam...but salafi seems quite a bit strict and not very open)
i am afraid that if we try to get married, the mosque will tell us to separate. which although the relationship is haram, i think given the faith we share and the intentions we have...it would be wrong to separate..am i wrong??
my girlfriend has a scholarship of 75% tuition at any Florida college, but we cant exactly go and join an msa as boyfriend and girlfriend.
and if we were to marry,( which is what we both want)how can we afford to live on our own and hopefully go to college without any help at all.
my mother converted to Islam when i was under 10 years old, my parents have been divorced since i was a baby. i am an American.
i was exposed to Islam at a very young age, and when i was around 13 i decided i wanted to be a Muslim. i took shahada, and that was about it. i have lived with my non Muslim father since i was about 8. and my step father (from india) has treated me like a piece of furniture ever since i can remember. i assume it is because i remind him of what he considers to be the past of my mother.
this is not the issue..just some background.
i grew up like any normal American... school, video games, skateboarding, organized sports. then i began playing music. when i was a little older i began smoking marijuana and tried drinking a few times....my father pretty much just let me run free like most other American parents. and my mother had in practice moved on and did the best she could to continue her new family. our relationship was horrible, i would visit her and attend jummah with my younger siblings but when my vacation was over i would fly back home and slowly lose grip on Islam. in many ways i received much more support from my father to be what i have become than from my mother supporting what i should be. but its my fault (if you can blame an 8 year old child)because i chose not to live with my stepfather who wouldn't accept me because he wasn't recognized by me as my father.
now that you have a taste of the confusion that rests in my mind ...let me present my "issue"
in high school i met a girl, her name is sam.
although in the back of my mind i knew it was haram, i began dating her.
she was a confused girl half a year older than me and i promised her the world....
you have to understand that my non Muslim father thought that i was homosexual before this because i wasn't interested in dating lots of girls and looking at porn magazines.
i was very naive when we met.
never the less a relationship continued. we were high school sweethearts of the loser population in my school(neither of us being very popular)
when our relationship started i was very clear about my belief in Islam(HOW IRONIC..(and immature)) and she was very interested. i look back at how stupid i was to confess my faith to someone who is strictly haram to me in the context of Islam.
we have been together for nearly four years now.
since then her family has abandoned her for being 18, graduated, and supposedly adult. she has lived with my father and i for over a year now.
she wants to be a muslim, and i want to be a better muslim, and we cant just live unmarried forever.
i have no money for college or any way to support myself on terms greater than minimum wage. and my father is beginning to get tired of us in his house.
we both pay rent.
a while back i broke in and told my mother of my girlfriend. she flipped out and wouldn't leave me alone about it untill she was convinced we were seperated. we are not separated at all.
minus my fathers small amount of support we have nobody.
i went to jummah for the first time by myself last Friday, and it was very nice.
problem being the nearest mosque is 2 cities away. it is a salafi group(i know very little about different groups within Islam...but salafi seems quite a bit strict and not very open)
i am afraid that if we try to get married, the mosque will tell us to separate. which although the relationship is haram, i think given the faith we share and the intentions we have...it would be wrong to separate..am i wrong??
my girlfriend has a scholarship of 75% tuition at any Florida college, but we cant exactly go and join an msa as boyfriend and girlfriend.
and if we were to marry,( which is what we both want)how can we afford to live on our own and hopefully go to college without any help at all.