Reader
09-05-2007, 05:15 AM
Hello everyone, I'am an 23 yr old american, if you don't mind this might be a long read. This my first post so I'll tell about myself first.
I'm form the mid-west, Missouri - you know the bible belt of America. I attended a Christain prep. school as a kid. I remimber every sunday at church vividly (and falling asleep almost every time, to be wacked in the head by the minder, I really did try to stay awake).
Yet by 17 I found myself beliveing in Islam. I disbelieved in Chistianity and its worship of Chist over the creator a few years before that. I did not turn away from Cristianity because of Islam but because I began to look into Cristianity (and there is a lot of holes to look into). Islam came later acually by complete mistake on my mom's part. The only exposure to Islam I had ever had was the cruel saresan converting Chistians by the sword found in most history books (I'am a total book lover history, science, politics, but not fiction that much). Well I gues I must have started asking the wrong questions about Christianity, my mom must have thought I was giving Islam a thought, even though it had never accualy crossed my mind. She got me a couple of books, one on the evile regime in Afganistan the other called "The cresent in light of the cross". It's supose to be a Cristian refutation of Islam ( ok call me naive I didn't relise that it was anti- Islamic when I started reading it I just thought it was a book about Islam). I loved the first part, it was a run though of Islamic beliefs. IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE HAD PUT UP A MIRROR TO MY SOUL.
Aye but there's the rub for what dreams may come after.... As Shakespear would say.
From that year to this one I have done little to bring Islam into my life, I pray little, have never even stepped into a masjid (it's tough being a woman, not knowing what to wear and all) It would be easier for me to list the thing I have done, which is nothing, than the thigs I have done. It is because of my family, I put them before my faith and I know that's what I am doing.
Not only that, my father has taken up converting me back to Christianity, his lectures and arguments are getting exhuasting
I am a bit of a fundamentalist in my beliefs, I belive not just in hijab but niqab that's funny coming from some one that dose not even practice the basics.
I feel like I am in a box here I dropped out of school when I was sixteen
and have been self-employed scince the age twenty in the family business. Life is pretty easy and good for me right now. Yet I have no education and if I rock the boat with my family, no income. I am the youngest of my parents four children, and the only daughter. I've been coddled all my life and have never wanted or needed anything that it wasn't given to me prompty by some family member I have never done anything for myself, and now I can't do anything for myself. I just feel really constained and useless. My life consist of no more than the salon and the mall. The only bright spot in it all is that the youngest of my three older blothers has taken an intrist in Islam, if he were to convert that would give me the courage and the cover to be more bold with my faith.
I don't really know how to end this, or if there is a question to be answered here, I guess if any one his any coments that would be nice
I just needed to get it off my chest and talk to someone
Good Luck everyone
I'm form the mid-west, Missouri - you know the bible belt of America. I attended a Christain prep. school as a kid. I remimber every sunday at church vividly (and falling asleep almost every time, to be wacked in the head by the minder, I really did try to stay awake).
Yet by 17 I found myself beliveing in Islam. I disbelieved in Chistianity and its worship of Chist over the creator a few years before that. I did not turn away from Cristianity because of Islam but because I began to look into Cristianity (and there is a lot of holes to look into). Islam came later acually by complete mistake on my mom's part. The only exposure to Islam I had ever had was the cruel saresan converting Chistians by the sword found in most history books (I'am a total book lover history, science, politics, but not fiction that much). Well I gues I must have started asking the wrong questions about Christianity, my mom must have thought I was giving Islam a thought, even though it had never accualy crossed my mind. She got me a couple of books, one on the evile regime in Afganistan the other called "The cresent in light of the cross". It's supose to be a Cristian refutation of Islam ( ok call me naive I didn't relise that it was anti- Islamic when I started reading it I just thought it was a book about Islam). I loved the first part, it was a run though of Islamic beliefs. IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE HAD PUT UP A MIRROR TO MY SOUL.
Aye but there's the rub for what dreams may come after.... As Shakespear would say.
From that year to this one I have done little to bring Islam into my life, I pray little, have never even stepped into a masjid (it's tough being a woman, not knowing what to wear and all) It would be easier for me to list the thing I have done, which is nothing, than the thigs I have done. It is because of my family, I put them before my faith and I know that's what I am doing.
Not only that, my father has taken up converting me back to Christianity, his lectures and arguments are getting exhuasting
I am a bit of a fundamentalist in my beliefs, I belive not just in hijab but niqab that's funny coming from some one that dose not even practice the basics.
I feel like I am in a box here I dropped out of school when I was sixteen
and have been self-employed scince the age twenty in the family business. Life is pretty easy and good for me right now. Yet I have no education and if I rock the boat with my family, no income. I am the youngest of my parents four children, and the only daughter. I've been coddled all my life and have never wanted or needed anything that it wasn't given to me prompty by some family member I have never done anything for myself, and now I can't do anything for myself. I just feel really constained and useless. My life consist of no more than the salon and the mall. The only bright spot in it all is that the youngest of my three older blothers has taken an intrist in Islam, if he were to convert that would give me the courage and the cover to be more bold with my faith.
I don't really know how to end this, or if there is a question to be answered here, I guess if any one his any coments that would be nice
I just needed to get it off my chest and talk to someone
Good Luck everyone