Birth Control

[amina9183]

:salam:

I know it is haraam to use birth control out of fear of poverty, but was wondering if anyone could clarify on the permissibility of the following:

1. in an ideal situation, the husband and wife will not have any type of "Relationship" before marriage. because of this, you are pretty much moving in with a stranger. developing a strong bond and close friendship is important...and for this, you need time to enjoy eachother. most married couples will say that their marriage changed dramatically after having a child, and if one wanted to stabilize a relationship with their spouse before bringing a baby into the picture(develop their relationship first), is this an acceptable reason for using birth control?

2. using birth control until the husband finishes school, because you dont want to add pressure on him. if the husband is financially stable and you are sure that you arent concerned about having babies because of finances, but rather just the idea of wanting him to have some sort of degree(it is security, in a sense. and neccessary in this day and age) then is this permissable?

[SarahB]

Salaam sister,

The Qurans states it is haram to kill your children if you fear poverty. Birth control itself is not Haram. It is haram to use birth control on a permanent basis in hopes of never conceiving or to have a permanent sterilization done if there is not medical necesity. I did some digging and found a scholarly Q&A on this subject:


I married recently, but haven’t yet moved in with my husband. Whenever I try and discuss children and contraception with him, he shuts down. What should I do?



In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Praise be to Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah shower upon our Beloved Messenger, his family, companions, and those who follow them.

Dear sister,

You have a right to be concerned about this and you are entitled to speak to your husband about it. Your husband might find it awkward discussing family planning when you are not living together, but it's not too soon to plan.

Many couples go into marriage thinking they have plenty of time before the kids come, but lo and behold, after the first few weeks of marriage, they're expecting their first child! Be patient with your husband and just point out to him that you want to have children when you're adequately prepared for it. Using birth control is permissible as long as you don't use the kind which aborts the embryo once conception has already taken place.

Maybe you and your husband need to spend some time with some young children so you can both get an idea of how much responsibility you'll have if you choose to conceive immediately. Yes, we should trust in Allah. But we should also prepare ourselves to the best of our ability. You and your husband may want to get to know each other for a while before you have children. Once the children come, life will completely change and you want to make sure you've built a solid foundation with each other. Also, financially speaking, the more children you have, the more responsibility your husband has. Is he ready for that? There's no harm in spacing your children out so you can prepare your finances.

You can't force your husband to talk about this, but you can gently encourage him to prepare for the future by discussing things now. Having children is one of the most important things you'll ever do. It's good to want you and your husband to be on the same page with this.

And Allah knows best. And Allah alone gives success.

Umm Salah (Zaynab Ansari)



http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=11&ID=4911&CATE=121

Bolding mine. Hope this helps.

Wasalaam

~Sarrah

[slaveof Allaah]

:salam:

5. Q: Are contraceptions permissible?
A: All forms of reversible contraception (e.g. condoms, IUD, etc.) are permissible on condition that it is not used out of fear of poverty and also that it is consentual between husband and wife.
Hadhrat Abu Saéed Khudhry (RA) reports that one person asked Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) about Azal (Coitus Interruptus). Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) replied, 'When Allah Taãla intends creating a child, nothing can stop him.' (Mishkãt pg. 275; Qadeemi)

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desi

therefore the contraceptive will have no effect, your Qadar can not be changed.

[amina9183]

:jazak: for the replies


one thing always has(and stilld oes confuse me):

fate when itc omes to children. if allah intends for a person to die, nothing can change this. however, that doesnt mean we go and sit in the middle of the road and say "if im not meant to die i wont" so when i hear about how contraceptives cant change your naseeb, it confuses me. cause if that were the case, isnt it just a waste of time!? if youre going to have a baby regardless of what you do, then why waste time with ocntraceptive methods? But then the sahaba did practice some form of birth control, so if it were the case that nothing can change what is meant to come, then why would the waste their time with brith control methods?

this iswhat confuses me...isnt there a certain level of free will involved? i mean everyone knows that if a baby absolutely HAS to come into thsi world, the woman would conceive evn after being on pills. but then if our free will has nothing to do with this then why did the Prophet(saw) not forbid the sahaba(ra) from such practices and why do our scholars still permit birth control? if its an absolute waste...then why bother?

thsi really confuses me. at one point i used tot hink that using birth control would show a lack of faith in Allah--because i thought if ure using it youre believing you have some sort of control over what does and doesnt come into this world. but lately i also realized that if scholars are permitting it--and the prophet(saw) permitted it--then clearly i am wrong in mys tance. but i still am genuinelyc onfused abt this

[Hard2Hit]

Assalam Alaikum,

Freewill and fate... hmm, I remember hearing a story of Hazrat Ali (ra) in which he explains to the questioner difference between both of them. He (ra) said, raise your leg, the questioner raised his leg, He (ra) then asked him to raise his other leg which he obviously couldn't - to which Ali [ra) said, thats how much freewill you have and how fate bounds you.

The thing with the pill is that you gotta take it daily and "at the same time everyday" to avoid pregnancy for sure. So even if one is using the pill, and Allah (swt) so wills, she will either miss a day or miss right time of the day to take pill and will get impregnanted.

The thing with rubber is that, it can, at times, tear-apart or burst. So if Allah (swt) so wills, one can conceive even with the barrier method.

Thing with withdrawal method is that even the pre-ejaculate can impregnate a woman.

And there are many down sides of "the shot", either the one year one or the three year one, so I wouldn't recommend going that route.

So basically there are known areas from where fate can intervene. And then there would be areas which aren't known to humans as of yet, from where fate can act against our will. Allahu Alim.

Hope this answers your question.

Salaams,