My female relative and her husband, she asks about Islam's rules

[jello]

Salam alaykum,

I have a married Muslim female relative. She is sick, but her husaband refuses to pay for her expenses on the basis that there is no obligation in Islam for the husband to take care of his sick wife, except in childbirth.

So my relative is obviously worried, and would like to know if there is any Islamic way she can get this payment out of her husband, or to make this payment of her sickness become obligatory upon him.

[JayshAllah]

Wa alaykum as-Salam.

The man in question is a jerk. May Allah guide him.

[woeuntothee]

Wa alaykum as-Salam.

The man in question is a jerk. May Allah guide him.

Seconded. What a jerk!

A muslim has an islamic duty to help any other muslim in need, let alone his own wife. The family takes precedence when it comes to financial help anyway.

[hole299]

:salam:


http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=3&ID=4296&CATE=445


http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=3&ID=9163&CATE=340


They must have some really HUGE issues in their marriage for him to be soo hard hearted! :(

May Allah guide both of them and do what's best for them in this world and in the hereafter, and the rest of us as well. Ameen

[scents of paradise]

It is a really sad case..but we should also be asking ourselves where this man got this information..from the schools of thought..there was a thread about this here..you can ask the admins im not kidding.

[scents of paradise]

its interesting the links above support the husbands stance..


the theoretical answer to your question is that no, it is not technically obligatory on the husband to pay for his wife's medical expenses. This is an expense that the jurists have determined to be her own personal responsibility: women are capable of earning their own living, just as men are, and she would have to earn this money herself

[JayshAllah]

As for the amount of maintenance, the guideline is what is sufficient, based on the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyaan: “Take what is sufficient for you and your child on a reasonable basis.” al-Bukhaari (5364) and Muslim (1714).

...

What counts with regard to what is sufficient is food and accommodation with proper facilities, as well as clothing and medical treatment. Anything surplus to that, such as gifts and luxuries, do not count, and he is not obliged to cover these expenses for his wife.

http://www.islamqa DOT com/index.php?ref=103422&ln=eng&txt=wife%20medical%20expenses

[tijaarat]

its interesting the links above support the husbands stance..

saalam,

I think that is said for extreme situations. Just like a woman doesn't have to lift a finger to do anything if she is married. (cook, clean, etc.) Thats another side of the coin. But in reality this does not happen. Just like that, I am sure most of the men do pay for the medical expenses of their wives.
Just like the link says, if marriage is just not about following rules, it wont work. It has to be about compassion and mercy.
For example, a woman could tell her husband that she wont do anything in the house (her right) even though all day she does is watch tv and sit on couch. A husband could then reply back and say when you get sick, I aint paying your medical bills.
This whole "my rights" trend in conferences and discussions on Islam these days bring about more conflict because people become more selfish and demanding instead of contributing.

I hope this explains.
saalam

[scents of paradise]

tit for tat??:confused:

[poor]

i can't believe there are muslims out there who wouldn't support their wives when they are sick! this is sad. I can understand if it was a special case, i.e. if the family is poor and so on

[Husain]

http://www.askimam.org/fatwa/fatwa.php?askid=764ab8510867d39147fdba54d6e66bea

Title
About Q11671. Under the heading 'LIFE CANNOT BE BASED ON LAWS ONLY', it is said that a husband is not legally obligated to provide medical treatment if the wife falls ill.

Question
Is this statement not contradicting the laws of Nafaqa? It sounds very impractical and a bit unislamic. So a woman must protect the property of her husband while being sick after her husband's refusal to provide medical treatment? When i mentioned this to some male and female family members, they were upset and tried to discourage me from visiting this site. But I'd rather give a chance for a better way of explaining this.

Answer
It is very heart-warming to see the confidence you have placed in us and the thirst you have to learn Islam. It is sad that many people haven't properly studied Islam thus they try to understand Islam in the light of our warped society, and when they see something unsuitable, they think the fault is in Islam. We will try our best to explain this mas'ala to you and make dua that Allah enables us all to clearly understand his deen. Ameen

It should be borne in mind that while Islam holds that there is a very close bond between the husband and wife, Islam has at the same time granted them both separate entities, thus we find that the salah, fasting, Zakaat, Udhiyyah etc of both husband and wife are separate. Each one is answerable for themselves.
Similarly, Islam has granted each of them separate and independent financial entities, therefore we find that the Kuffaar concept of "community of property" is contradictory to Islam. In Islam, each person is the sole owner of his belongings.

Thus we find the wife having many different sources of income viz.
-Whatever money she saved up before her marriage belongs to her,
-Her Mahr (no matter how large it may be) every cent of it is her's and no one may lay their hands on it.
-All the jewellery she received, be it from her family, from friends or from her husband is her's.
- All her wedding gifts are her own property and if she so wishes she may sell them or do anything she pleases with them.
- During her lifetime, whichever of her relatives pass away, Shariah has given her a share in the estate of many of them. This money is also part of her property.
- The money given to her by her husband, whatever she saves is her's.
- Shariah has allowed a woman to work, as long as it is within the confines of Shariah. Thus we find Hadhrat Zainab (Radhiallahu Anha) the wife of Nabi (salllahu Alaihi wasallam) would run her own home-business and earn money to give in sadaqah. Whatever money a women earns from her dealings belong to her and her husband cannot ask for a cent of it. Similarly, if she is helping him in his business then she has the right to claim a wage for her services. This will also be added to her property.

Thus we find that while Shariah has given a women so many avenues of income, Allah has made it so easy for her that she has no worry of meeting the rent every month, no worry of putting food on the table, no concern of getting money to clothe the family, no water and electricity bills to pay, no exorbitant municipality rates to pay every month etc. Her husband has to take care of all these expenses and cannot demand a cent from her for these. He has to pay for her clothing (in accordance to her family status and the current norms), he has to provide food for her, he has to give her a lodging that is separate from his family with total privacy. In addition to this he has to furnish the home, provide her with her toiletries, utensils, household materials etc.

What expenses does she have? IF she is wealthy, then she will have to give 2,5% of her wealth in Zakaat ( bearing in mind that he has to pay income tax of about 40% sometimes !!!) and once a year slaughter an animal (Udhiyyah is possible for R100). Yet in spite of all this, these women still expect the husband to make Udhiyyah and pay Zakaat on their behalf, which most husband do! Yet now when Shariah has laid on her head one expense,her medical expenditure, something so indefinite that could come daily, weekly, monthly or even once in a lifetime, something so unreliable that the alternative-health and home-remedies market is booming, then we want to say that Islam is oppressive to women, we are disgracing Islam, this is very impractical etc etc.

It should also be borne in mind that there is a difference between our concept of medical expenses and that of the Shariah. In our eyes, every time a person a person gets slightly ill, we rush him off to the doctor and then for weeks thereafter pump him full of antibiotics, that seem to do more harm then benefit.We seem to take the doctors word above that of Shariah even! While in Shariah , if a person refuses medical treatment and then dies, he is not sinful as medical treatment is not a definite cure.

Yes, shariah has shown us what are definite cures, taking the black seed with full conviction on Allah, reciting Surah Fatiha with full Yaqeen that Allah will cure,taking honey knowing that Allah has classified it as a cure, these are definite cures, not today's ever changing "Science".

Yet in spite of all this, when she gets sick and there is a need to take her to a hospital or doctor, then it isn't as if Islam says to the husband:" It is totally HARAAM for you to spend on her on her and pay her medical expenses", rather we should open our westernised eyes and warped minds to see what Shariah says to the Husband.

Shariah says to him: "Treat your wives well", " The best of you is he who treats his wife the best", "Be soft and gentle to them", "Your wives have similar rights over you to what you have over them", "Spend (on your wives) of what Allah has given you....Allah will soon change your poverty to ease", "Whatever you spend Allah will replace it", "Your spending on your family is sadaqah (Charity)", "When you go out to earn for your family, you are in the path of Allah", "Whatever you spend on your family, Allah will reward you for it, so much so that you will be rewarded for putting a morsel into your wife's mouth!", "Spending a dinar on your family is better than spending it in the path of Allah, better than giving it to the orphans and better than freeing slaves with it".

Now do you think that any husband would refuse to pay for his wives medical expenses,after all the encouragement to spend on the family? It is a demand of good character that he pays for them. He will have in front of him this thought, that this wonderful wife of mine has given her entire life for me, she slogs from morning to night to ensure that I am comfortable,she is the mother of my children, she does so many things that are not necessary for her to do, she washes my clothes when she cannot be forced to do so, she cleans my home, she does this and that, how can I not pay back her back by settling her medical bills?

You might then ask, that if he is going to pay it, then why tell him he doesn't have to? The reason is clear, if the husband is poor and is unable to meet the medical bills of his wife, then if she pays it, Shariah tells him that there is no need to feel that you are now subservient to her or as if you have lost your manlihood , as this expense wasn't Wajib upon you. This helps ensure that both the spouses always have love for the other as they know that each one is doing more than is his/her responsibility and it is accepted that everyone loves one who does good to them.

Thus we find that Allah in his great wisdom has given us a Shariah, that is perfect and complete. It has provided for every situation and condition and it suit one and all. Instead of trying to find faults in it, we should open the eyes of our hearts and try to grasp the beauties of Islam. It is the ruling of all the 4 mazhabs that the medical bills are not the responsibility of the husband meaning it is not enforceable by law nor will he be sinful , however all agree that it is the dictates of good character that he pays it. It should also be borne in mind that this applies to normal medical expenses. This is not for expenses concerning the children ie. all expenses incurred during the pregnancy are the responsibility of the husband.

In conclusion, we would like to point out the while the modernists are very quick to try to find fault in Islam by saying that Islam oppresses women, furnishing this mas'alah as proof, we have yet to hear a peep from anyone complaining that Islam is unfair and impractical in that is says that it isn't necessary for the wife to clean the house, to wash the clothes etc. If the wife refuses to do it, she cannot be forced and the husband will have to employ a servant. Isn't this unfair on the poor husband? How can it be practical when so many men are living hand to mouth, yet Islam insists that they must employ a servant. Why don't they complain about this law? Because they are deadset on trying to prove Islam to be anti-feminine and oppressive to women, while this law shows the exact opposite.

Thus we understand that just as it is accepted that the wife will do these chores to the best of her ability and if she is unable then the husband will get a servant, similarly a husband will pay his wifes expenses to the best of his ability, but cannot be forced to, thus if he doesn't she will be responsible for it.

We make dua that Allah gives us all the ability to understand his din and practice upon it. Amin

(Ref: Fatawa Khairiyyah Vol.4 Pg.567-569, Raddul Muhtaar Vol.3 Pg.579, Al-Mughni Vol.8 Pg.159, At-Tambih Vol.1 Pg.207, Rawdahtut Taalibeen Vol.9 Pg.50, Lisaanul Hukkam Vol.1 Pg.337, At-Taaj Wal-Ikleel Vol.4 Pg.184)

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Checked & Approved: Mufti Ebrahim Desai

[poor]

alhamdulillah, enlightening answer. the islamic system of 'economics' between the husband/wife is just beautiful mashallah, it is a sign of the Creator of this economics and His beauty.

i was just thinking though of the current situations in the west where many do not follow these rules which would make it simpler. For example i'm just thinking if the wife usually has some money to herself as her sources are the following during a medical problem:

(1) inheritance from relatives
(2) saved up money or assetts which she can 'sell' or convert into cash without anyone restricting her to do so
(2) work money (if she worked by herself prior to or during the marriage) and associated funds she can recieve from work (i.e. sick pay)
(4) work money from having worked in husbands business
(5) mahr/gifts/jewellery

Now unfortunately many people do not share inhertiance as they are supposed to, many women don't own assets or have too much saved up money - especially if you are a student and just got married soon after graduating - similarly many sisters do not have jobs or continue having jobs after marriage. As many sacrifice that for looking after kids and such

Also for the sisters who work in their husbands business, like looking after property etc. Well even though they have right to ask for wage it is 'awkward' in asian cultures (so i'm really talking about asian muslims in the west) - which is unislamic of course perhaps it comes from the non-islamic parts of subcontinent. Mahr/gifts/jewelley are a definite source perhaps not enough to cover surgery or something more than a few hundred to a thousand dollars (for most people) - and if you are in america or places without welfare system you might need lots of money for medical expenses.

I think what the root issue is that in many of the islamic families i know especially of the islamic background the wife does not practically have the status of an independent economic entity that islam gives her the right to be. The reason i say this is that many asian-muslim families are such that the wife works in the husband's business but she is not paid a wage as such as 'the husband will take care of her economic needs' - but the economic independence islam affords her has deep wisdom which many fail to see.

So due to the practical situation of modern muslim families as i briefly spoke about above, who do not follow the guidance set out; in that context, it seemed harsh to 'lessen the wife' even more by not being obligated to look after her healthcare costs. However if the regulations are followed it's a totally different game, it's a beautiful game

subhanAllah how important is it for us to learn these things deeply, and how dangerous is it to not know this in a marriage, May Allah guide me and everyone to learn how Allah wants us to be with Him, how He wants us to be with our spouses, and how He wants us to be with everything and everyone else around us, ameen.

[vagabond]

Thus we find the wife having many different sources of income viz.
-Whatever money she saved up before her marriage belongs to her,
-Her Mahr (no matter how large it may be) every cent of it is her's and no one may lay their hands on it.
-All the jewellery she received, be it from her family, from friends or from her husband is her's.
- All her wedding gifts are her own property and if she so wishes she may sell them or do anything she pleases with them.
- During her lifetime, whichever of her relatives pass away, Shariah has given her a share in the estate of many of them. This money is also part of her property.
- The money given to her by her husband, whatever she saves is her's.


All of the above usually isn't much money. If a woman doesn't work, then she usually doesn't have much money .. or enough that would cover the constant expenditure of a chronic illness or something.



- Shariah has allowed a woman to work, as long as it is within the confines of Shariah. Thus we find Hadhrat Zainab (Radhiallahu Anha) the wife of Nabi (salllahu Alaihi wasallam) would run her own home-business and earn money to give in sadaqah. Whatever money a women earns from her dealings belong to her and her husband cannot ask for a cent of it. Similarly, if she is helping him in his business then she has the right to claim a wage for her services. This will also be added to her property.


This is interesting. My impression is that the husband has the authority to stop his wife from working if he wishes. Without some form of steady income, the wife would not be able to amass any significant amount of wealth ... and if the husband has the authority to stop the wife from working (i.e. the wife would be sinful if she worked since she would be disobeying a command of her husband), then pretty much the wife's ability to have some money saved up is in the complete control of the husband.

Note: I'm not criticizing the Shariah. If the Shariah says that the husband has to cut a sliver off his nose at 4pm every evening and the wife has to do a nose stand 3 times a day - then that is good, fine, and beautiful. I'm just trying to understand the matter.

[scents of paradise]

:salam:
soofisaheb..I found the article you posted to be contradictory in many places...and besides whats wrong with taking antibiotics if it is the only cure??..it can have side effects but the way the Imam disparages it is quite troubling..for many people who have suffered from infections antibiotics HAVE helped save their lives.Blackseed has medical properties but telling people that it IS the definite cure and that it should be taken instead of antibiotics??!! Comeon

:ws:

[Husain]

:salam:
soofisaheb..I found the article you posted to be contradictory in many places...

:ws:

Could you please mention the many contradictions.
We would arrange to have them rectified.


and besides whats wrong with taking antibiotics if it is the only cure??..it can have side effects but the way the Imam disparages it is quite troubling..for many people who have suffered from infections antibiotics HAVE helped save their lives.Blackseed has medical properties but telling people that it IS the definite cure and that it should be taken instead of antibiotics??!! Comeon

:ws:

The answer is not saying that one cannot take antibiotics or that taking them is wrong.
No one denies that antibiotics have medical benefits.

Rather it is discussing the attitude prevalent today, where we think that antibiotics are the only cure, as mentioned by you as well, and the trend of resorting to antibiotics for every small illness. Good doctors will enlighten you on the many harms of antibiotics.

In the eyes of Medical science, it may be the only cure, thus a person is allowed to follow that.

But when our Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi wasallam) told us that the black seed is a cure for every illness, we find that hard to accept.
It IS a definite cure, but conviction is neccesary.
And sadly, that is lacking.

Again,I would appreciate you pointing out the many contradictions in the answer, so that they could be corrected.

Jazakillahu Khaira

[Husain]

This is interesting. My impression is that the husband has the authority to stop his wife from working if he wishes. Without some form of steady income, the wife would not be able to amass any significant amount of wealth ... and if the husband has the authority to stop the wife from working (i.e. the wife would be sinful if she worked since she would be disobeying a command of her husband), then pretty much the wife's ability to have some money saved up is in the complete control of the husband.

If the work of the wife does not result in any of the husband's rights being neglected, not does it result in any harm coming to him or her leaving the home, then she could do so without his permission. (Hashiyah ibn Abidin Vol.3 Pg.603)
This would mean that if he does prevent her, she would not be sinful, as he has no right to prevent her from it.

[Hamood]

It IS a definite cure, but conviction is neccesary.


Great point.

[vagabond]

If the work of the wife does not result in any of the husband's rights being neglected, not does it result in any harm coming to him or her leaving the home, then she could do so without his permission. (Hashiyah ibn Abidin Vol.3 Pg.603)
This would mean that if he does prevent her, she would not be sinful, as he has no right to prevent her from it.

Not everyone gets a dream job where they can work from home :).

[vagabond]

It IS a definite cure, but conviction is neccesary.


What is the proof for this? Just curious. For example, I remember from a tahara lecture that Allah (swt) says that water purifies. Regardless if one has the intention of purification or not, water is a purifying agent, and it will purify. If black seed/honey/etc.. are cures, then why does it matter if one has intention, conviction, or whatever? For example ... fire burns. You don't need an intention to get burned. Put your hand in fire, and you'll get burned. Drink some poison, intentionally or not, and you'll get poisoned. I just found this issue to be interesting. Usually people say, "Well, everything is in the hands of Allah (swt) ... nothing cures without his permission. He commanded us to take the medicine and supplicate." But, that is the case with everything ... not just black seed or honey .. but with antibiotics, surgery, any form of medicine really, physical laws, etc ...

[Husain]

soofisaheb..I found the article you posted to be contradictory in many places...

Still waiting for details of the many contradictions.
Jazakillah

[scents of paradise]

I should have posted it sometime ago but got quite lazy..but i'll defintely list the many contradictory statements on that article which really shocked me.