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Sadiq
23-12-2007, 09:39 AM
Seven Important Marriage Tips - What the Marriage Experts Say - WebMD


7 Marriage Tips to Stay Lucky in Love - WebMD
[Fascinating, especially when one considers the Prophetic guidance related to marriage and married life. Subhan Allah.]


Relationship experts caution, however, that much more than luck is needed to stay together and beat the odds of a divorce, now estimated to end half of today’s marriages. Here, relationship experts consulted by WebMD offer their best marriage tips for how to stay lucky in love. And they go way beyond the usual tips to buy her flowers, cook his favorite meal, and remember to schedule date night…

Marriage Tip No. 1: Purge the “D’” word.

Marriage Tip No. 2: Replace the 7 deadly habits in a marriage with the 7 caring habits.

The seven deadly habits are criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing.

The seven caring habits include supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting, and negotiating your differences.

Marriage Tip No. 3: Take care of yourself.

Marriage Tip No. 4: Discuss outside friendships.

“I’m not big on cross-gender friendships for married people,” Brody says. “It’s playing with fire.” ….The line is too easy and tempting to cross.Marriage Tip No. 5: Stop trying to control your partner.

Marriage Tip No. 5: Stop trying to control your partner.

Marriage Tip No. 6: Honor and respect your partner.

Respect was also a marriage tip that came up often from the marriage masters, Boggs says. “The No. 1 principle that almost everyone talked about is respect,” he says. “You can have respect without love, but you cannot have love without respect.”


Marriage Tip No. 7: If you’re the wife, lower your expectations. If you’re the husband, step up to the plate.

When Steve Brody and his wife, Cathy Brody, MFT, a marriage and family counselor, toured the country to promote their book, Renew Your Marriage at Midlife, they asked audiences what they wanted from marriage.

“Women expected to be loved, cherished, listened to, cared for, and courted,” Steve Brody says. They had a long list of wants and expectations, he recalls. The men joked that their expectations were more basic: Their typical answers, Brody says: “Bring food and show up naked.”

While the men were half joking, the gaps in expectations are a good lesson. To close the gap, Brody says, women need to lower their expectations — to not expect 24/7 romance, for instance, especially if their mate has just worked an unbelievably long week.

Men need to do some of the things the woman wants, such as prioritize their relationship and listen more, he says. In a nutshell, Brody says, “Men need to do the same things at home that they do at work.” He tells the husbands he counsels to think of it this way: “Your wife is the million-dollar client. If she walks out the door, the business is closed.”

http://www.seekersdigest.org/seven-important-marriage-tips-what-the-marriage-experts-say-webmd.html

talibulilm
23-12-2007, 01:54 PM
Thanks, but I don't think we need any tips from these so-called 'marriage experts' who waste their time with such nonsense. All the advice about marriage that was worth listening to was said by Allah in the Qur'an, or his Prophet Muhammad (sallaAllahu 'alayhi wassalam) or was derived from Allah's words or His Messenger's (by scholars).

A word of advice to my Muslim brothers and sisters: Stay away from kaafir 'psychologists' and their like, they're more than useless.

Sadiq
23-12-2007, 06:30 PM
Thanks, but I don't think we need any tips from these so-called 'marriage experts' who waste their time with such nonsense. All the advice about marriage that was worth listening to was said by Allah in the Qur'an, or his Prophet Muhammad (sallaAllahu 'alayhi wassalam) or was derived from Allah's words or His Messenger's (by scholars).

A word of advice to my Muslim brothers and sisters: Stay away from kaafir 'psychologists' and their like, they're more than useless.

:)

JazakAllah for your response and advice. I don't think the tips or advice, or even other 'books', that fall outside of what may be termed as 'quran and sunnah', are not really that 'bad'. Like using books that explain issues in science, or nature, or history, etc.

'Wisdom is something that we reach out for' as ulama say. I think the problem would be to 1) Choose their words over our traditions 2) Or if it goes against our traditions.

Im sure the above tips, which i linked from the website (blog) of Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, is not a 'waste of time', rather advice that as he said "Fascinating, especially when one considers the Prophetic guidance related to marriage and married life. Subhan Allah" (on the link)

There are many things that we as muslims can use to further our lifes, ie the research into science, into health, into space, into development, etc Various fields. Our basis, is our Quran and Sunnah, and we take what is good and leave the rest. Our 'microscope' is our Deen.

Request of your duas and i hope me posting this hasnt caused any offence to you or anyone else. The sunnah is the way of sucess, these tips and other books, that beautify our knowledge further is not wrong, from what i have learnt.

Daughter of Adam
23-12-2007, 07:05 PM
This is a good post. It reflects the message of Islam, and because of that there is no harm in taking the good even from 'bad' sources. Didn't a sahabi take from...Shaytan?

The_Humble_One
23-12-2007, 09:41 PM
“Your wife is the million-dollar client. If she walks out the door, the business is closed.”

lol that's a good way to think about it.

talibulilm
24-12-2007, 12:07 AM
Assalamu 'alaikum

My intention was not to offend any of my Muslim brothers and sisters. I meant that this article really does not tell us anything new. We have heard all this before from a far better source (Allah and His Messenger :saw:) right? So why do we need it to be reiterated by a so-called 'marriage expert'?

I may have sounded rude or arrogant, but any rudeness found in my post was aimed towards the so-called 'experts' and not at any of you.

It is just that it is very annoying how people love to hear it from the so-called experts. Hearing it from Muhammad Messenger of Allah :saw: is not enough? It's the same exact advice...