View Full Version : What to do when a child feels "jealous" of the new kid?!
23-10-2008, 09:41 PM
Assalaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,
..when a new baby comes along and a lot of the attention is diverted to that baby, the older child feels left out and jealous (im not sure if that's the right word for it!)
and so if u hold the baby or play with it.. or feed it ... or even smile at it, the other child crys until u put the baby down and hold the child instead..even though u try ur utmost best to give BOTH the same attention and love..
so what can you do in this situation to make the child know that she is loved and not forgotten??
suggestions/ advice would be appreciated..
ze leetle elper
03-11-2008, 02:11 PM
If another baby is on the way, best advice is to start ealy and tell your child as much as you can about *baby* what changes may hapen when baby arrives, and so on.
You can encourage your other child to help you with the new baby, makethem feel included and part of the same group...when you are holding your newborn close to your body, they will instantly feel uncomfortable and may show signs of 'jealousy.' Encourage your child to hold baby as well (with you rhelp of course), when you change baby, you can make the chid feel included by helping you fetch the nappy, open the cotton wool and so on. When baby is alseep and you have ample time you should lavish this time on your 1st child, do an activity with them, make them feel important and that they are still mummy's little girl/boy lol :D
When you bathe baby, get the child to help you, show them how baby can't do these things by himself like he can, so he needs his mummy and big brother/sister to help him.
Before baby arrives, an easy way to encourage your child to learn about needs and wants to is get a doll and encourage them to take care of it the same way you take care of them. So they change the doll, feed it, bathe it, put it to sleep and so on. Give them lots of praise and attention when they do these things correctly, remind them how clever and special they are for being able to do so!
Sorry if the post is all over the place lol, just thinking off the top of my head...what is the age gap between the children anyway? And are they the same gender or different?
29-11-2008, 07:13 PM
Masha Allah......Very good advice sis....I enjoy reading all your post..You are a zee little helper in truth...Hope you keep up with your posts.
Yes..its very challenging when the new baby comes along . You really have to be wise and keep up with your older kid as well. It's not easy when all the family and friends come to see the new baby and the older kid just stares... cause everyone asks about the baby first, Some people evrn ask you if the older kid is jealous of the baby. (infront of the older kid) Of course, if he/sheis listening. We shouldn't even speak like this infront of the kid.He/She might be small but they still pick up and understand. What sis 'zee little helper' said is correct. we have to incude the child in every thing. Make the child feel it's his/her baby.
15-12-2009, 10:31 PM
Ah :jazak: sisters (a year late!)
Needless to say, both kids have now grown alhamduliLlaah they are both adorable
(oh, and they're not my kids by the way!)
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