Depression & Anxiety

[hamza75]

I have this vicious cycle of anxiety that fuels depression, where if I feel depressed, I get anxious and vice versa.

I screwed up my life, or the plan I made for my life. now I can't seem to be able to forgive myself for these mistakes.

and I am just angry all the time that i made these mistakes, and I keep dwelling on the past and how all my friends are enjoying themselves and it seems everything I planned is going backwards.

I started praying a lot of more sunnah's etc. and asking Allah for forgiveness and guidance.

I just find it hard to make decisions, I don't know anymore what are correct decisions and what are bad decisions, or i'm scared of the outcomes.

I am someone who is obsessed with controlling everything, including the outcomes of decisions, and I just feel so powerless, ever since i started this depression.

[Adnan bin Khalid]

I have this vicious cycle of anxiety that fuels depression, where if I feel depressed, I get anxious and vice versa.

I screwed up my life, or the plan I made for my life. now I can't seem to be able to forgive myself for these mistakes.

and I am just angry all the time that i made these mistakes, and I keep dwelling on the past and how all my friends are enjoying themselves and it seems everything I planned is going backwards.

I started praying a lot of more sunnah's etc. and asking Allah for forgiveness and guidance.

I just find it hard to make decisions, I don't know anymore what are correct decisions and what are bad decisions, or i'm scared of the outcomes.

I am someone who is obsessed with controlling everything, including the outcomes of decisions, and I just feel so powerless, ever since i started this depression.

Salam brother,

Two things you need to understand and remember. First, you aren't in control of everything. Allah is. The reason people lead to being overly controlling and obsessive, depressed, etc in one regard is because we can't take when an outcome does not work in our favor. But as Muslims, Allah has helped us as humans deal with this by telling us, that trials and tribulations are from Allah, and those who observe patience will definitely be rewarded. It's okay to let go sometimes, and realize what Allah has destined may be different then what we were expecting. As Allah says, "And they plan, and Allah plans, and Allah is the best planner." And we are powerless in the plan of Allah, as Allah says, "Oh mankind! You are the weak in regards to Allah, and Allah is the All Rich, All Praiseworthy." (35:15)

Secondly, as far as you having problems making decisions. You sound like you are trying to do everything on your own. I would suggest taking counsel from elders. Or having a mentor, such as your local Imam, or a scholar of Islam to help you. Everyone should have some close, religious trustworthy people that they can take advice from. Even the Holy Prophet p.b.u.h. showed us by taking the counsel of his companions in many different scenarios. Try these things and insha'Allah Allah will make it easier for you.


Salaam.

[kayra]

Salam brother,

Two things you need to understand and remember. First, you aren't in control of everything. Allah is. The reason people lead to being overly controlling and obsessive, depressed, etc in one regard is because we can't take when an outcome does not work in our favor. But as Muslims, Allah has helped us as humans deal with this by telling us, that trials and tribulations are from Allah, and those who observe patience will definitely be rewarded. It's okay to let go sometimes, and realize what Allah has destined may be different then what we were expecting. As Allah says, "And they plan, and Allah plans, and Allah is the best planner." And we are powerless in the plan of Allah, as Allah says, "Oh mankind! You are the weak in regards to Allah, and Allah is the All Rich, All Praiseworthy." (35:15)

Secondly, as far as you having problems making decisions. You sound like you are trying to do everything on your own. I would suggest taking counsel from elders. Or having a mentor, such as your local Imam, or a scholar of Islam to help you. Everyone should have some close, religious trustworthy people that they can take advice from. Even the Holy Prophet p.b.u.h. showed us by taking the counsel of his companions in many different scenarios. Try these things and insha'Allah Allah will make it easier for you.


Salaam.

Agreed. On the subject of mentors, there is a beautiful book called "Sayings of the Sufi Masters" which includes a chapter on why we need guidance. I downloaded it from here: http://www.scribd.com/doc/4384990/Travelling-the-Path-of-Love-Sayings-of-Sufi-Masters but it may be available elsewhere. It's also a very inspirational collection in general.

[revabust]

Hi kayra,

Well,Anxiety and depression often occur together and, until the last part of the nineteenth century, anxiety disorders were not classified separately.When we are physically ill few of us hesitate to seek treatment but the case is very different if we become mentally ill. Most people find it very hard to accept that they have a mental health problem.However, disorders such as depression, anxiety and phobias are commonplace and in most cases readily treatable. It is important not to suffer alone and to seek medical help if you are suffering from a depressive illness. Anxiety is a normal reaction to fear. It is abnormal when its severity is out of proportion to the threat of fear or when it outlasts the threat.Depression is a your normal reaction for any loss or is a cause of misfortune. It is abnormal when it is out of proportion to the misfortune or unduly prolonged.

Thanks

[5M1L3Y]

Salam brother,

Two things you need to understand and remember. First, you aren't in control of everything. Allah is. The reason people lead to being overly controlling and obsessive, depressed, etc in one regard is because we can't take when an outcome does not work in our favor. But as Muslims, Allah has helped us as humans deal with this by telling us, that trials and tribulations are from Allah, and those who observe patience will definitely be rewarded. It's okay to let go sometimes, and realize what Allah has destined may be different then what we were expecting. As Allah says, "And they plan, and Allah plans, and Allah is the best planner." And we are powerless in the plan of Allah, as Allah says, "Oh mankind! You are the weak in regards to Allah, and Allah is the All Rich, All Praiseworthy." (35:15)

Secondly, as far as you having problems making decisions. You sound like you are trying to do everything on your own. I would suggest taking counsel from elders. Or having a mentor, such as your local Imam, or a scholar of Islam to help you. Everyone should have some close, religious trustworthy people that they can take advice from. Even the Holy Prophet p.b.u.h. showed us by taking the counsel of his companions in many different scenarios. Try these things and insha'Allah Allah will make it easier for you.


Salaam.

Subhan'allah!!! I have been suffering from Anxiety lately too and this cheered me up!:D

[umm_mohammed15]

Assalamualaikum,

I pray all is well.
I am doing an islamic counselling course currently, and it has changed me completely, subhanallah. I feel that in this day and age faith-based counselling is the way forward. I have an article in front of me from the Daily Telegraph, 20th nov 09 that's entitled ' Money does not make you happy but therapy does, academics have discovered.'
I totally agree with the article.
So brother, go to your doctor/gp and ask to be refered to a counsellor, preferably an islamic one, which would be even better.
Talking about your problems will help you immensely, inshallah. You may even avoid anti-depressants completely. For some people talking therapy is enough and for others, there is a need for therapy coupled with medication. Your health professional will be able to best advise you, inshallah. Be pro-active and get yourself help. As we are told 'Allah helps those who help themselves.'
In counselling everything is confidential and we are bound by ethics and rules so there should be no fear of anything 'getting out'. A true, honest counsellor would not break trust unless a persons life is in danger or if they are going to harm others. Then, it would only be to help them avoid that.
And Allah knows best.
Assalamualaikum