View Full Version : in luv..need help??
18-07-2010, 08:09 AM
Assalamualaikum all ma brothers n sisters......i wld like to explain to u all the dilemma in which iam n hope by Allah's wish u cn help me.......i stay in dubai n iam in luv with a girl who stays in india......i havent seen her fr the past 2 yrs...v mostly talk through the phone.....she's ma dad's sister's daughter.....so u knw at tymes wen there is a family video chat goin on we both c each oder der......v both r madly in luv..........nw iam confused a bit.....u c v r soo far away n i dunno v might nt meet fr another 2 to 3 yrs.......is this nt allowed i mean der is no chance of physical intimacy wat so ever.....in a couple of yrs tyme i will inshallah become an engineer n inshallah b eligible of marryin her......we only talk through phone....Mashallah v both pray namaz n read the Quran wen eva v can.......so wat i basically want to ask is, is dis wrong?? i rilli luv her....n i want 2 marry her pls help........Jazakumullah
18-07-2010, 08:18 AM
It is wrong for you to keep contact. Dear brother a friend I know was in a similar situation. He became religious and told the girl that I can't talk to you but if you are interested in marriage you can contact me in another 4 years when I finish university. Anyway he received an email after 4 years and the girl said I assume you are finishing university and are now looking to get married. The patience paid off and he got married after not talking to her for 4 years. I pray that ALLAH grants him and his wife al-firdaws and blesses them with pious children. Brother a little bit of patience goes a long way. Also since you are in Dubai try and visit the markaz (tableegh) every thursday and try to spend some time with the tablighi brothers. I pray that ALLAH gives you the ability to give up this sin ameen and make you patient. You can talk to her all you want after marriage. But for the moment be patient.
18-07-2010, 08:02 PM
Assalamulykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh,
Ameen to the duas made by brother London...i d like to add,chk this website www.sanctifiedtrust.org
get in touch with pious ppl...meet them regularly...grow spiritually..inshAllah all will go well...what brother london said is right...dont keep in touch with her...marry her when your done...inshAllah ...may Allah bless you with khair.ameen
18-07-2010, 09:36 PM
Masha'Allah brother, it's good to know that you seek religous advice rather than asking from any psychologist. Besides what other brothers have said, may I suggest you give it some time. By time, I mean, get into the religious gatherings, pray salaah properly and abstain from any evil sights. Insha'Allah you will see things differently.
Why and how am I saying this with such confidence? Well, both of my most closest friends have had a similar situation. When I told them to give it some time, they yelled at me, said "no !! it's different! I want to marry her". Ironically, both of them couldn't/didn't and now they're saying "you were right". I heard from Maulana Ameen Safdar Okarwi Rahimahullah that Isa Alaihis Salaam once encountered Shaytaan, he asked Shaytaan mal'oon, "When is the man in your most control?" . Shaytaan said " On two occasions , one is when he's overcome with anger, and the other time when he's overcome with desire. At that point, man is to me as a ball is to a little child, I can make him do whatever I want".
In a Hadeeth, Rasoolullah SallAllahu alaihi wasallam said "Sight is (like) an Arrow". Another Hadeeth says " Women are the Arrows of Shaytaan" and further I think it says that "he uses them to capture the (hearts) of men."... May Allah forgive any addition or subtraction by mistake.
Therefore, NEVER get carried away by a girl. I suggest once you've given it some time, and you feel like marrying, send your parents and inquire about he religious leaning, and what kind of character she possesses. Remember that personality is what's on the outside, character is what's on the inside. So Always go for character over personality and looks. Looks fade away, personality may change over time, but character remains.
May Allah give us all hidayah and make us His servants...Aameen
18-07-2010, 11:06 PM
As-saalam alaykum warahmatulahi wabarkatuh
Just stay pious,stay on track with your deen at the best of your abilities and complete your studies. Those are your first priorities my dear respected brother.
19-07-2010, 06:27 AM
Thnx to all ma brothers fr helpin me out............she's also a pious girl(mashallah)......bt i will make her understand inshallah......tell her dat it is nt gud in islamic terms n if Allah wants we will gt married.....thnx again evry1....may Allah shower u with all His kindness..........Jazakumullah!
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.0 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.