Sunni-Shia Rant!!

[Syeda123]

Salaam,

Okay so this is probably going to be long, brace yourselves :p ...
I want to give you a little background of my belief before I get bashed by some Shia :frown:
I was bought up as a Shia...went to Majilis as a child, was forced to cry in Muharram lol ok not forced but you weren't a cool kid back then if you didn't shed a tear and I watched back as every year we beat ourselves and wailed and kissed the (I actually don't know the name for it) things that looked like a coffin with blood splattered over it (well red coloring) and I even remember eating a rose of it lol...this is so messed up ! I guess it isnt a laughing matter but even as a kid i never understood the significance of all this and till this day can never accept this as part of Islam. Most of my family are Shia, infact some were Sunni's but then "saw the light" as they like to put it and followed the Shia belief. My mum however is not a shia, she comes from a sunni family but I suppose when she married my dad she strayed for a while, either that or she didn't see it as anything that was out of the ordinary. My father a very devout Shia then and now. The thing is at a young age I saw myself constantly questioning the Shia belief and my heart could never accept there way. When I was 17 I bought myself the translation of the Quran thinking once I read this I will be able to find my answers, don't get me wrong the answers were in there but my intelligence didn't match up for me to be able to understand it. So I carried on, and once again Islam knocked on my hearts door and I reached out and got knocked back because I was surrounded by some very arrogant and stern friends who were shia, and although I wasn't that knowledgeable in Islam I had a thousand questions and often I felt they took advantage of my lack of intelligence and shot me down for even questioning my belief. So once again, I decided not to look into it...so much time passed and It had been almost 2 years since I had even prayed, which makes me really sad and I hate to admit it but thats the truth. I was living away at university and it made me realise being miles away from home how much I lacked something and felt a void in my heart it wasn't me being homesick, rather I felt no peace in myself because I was so far from Islam, this one particular night I felt scared I cant remember why, so I asked my very 'knowledgeable' friend what dua to read and he said read 'nade ali' its a dua in which you call out to Hazrat Ali to protect you...I refused, and this friend told me I wasn't a muslim if i didn't call out to Ali, of course the conversation ended and so did our friendship because he just decided to put a fatwa out on me lol
I decided that I need to try again, so I opened the Quran once again in hope of some answers and I read a random Surah and this verse bought tears to my eyes because I was so frustrated for so long and this one verse answered all my questions 'Do then those who disbelieve think that they can take my slaves as Auliya besides me? Verily, we have prepared hell as an entertainment for the disbelievers' Surah Kahf-102. This was not only for the Christians and Jews, its for every other sect, religion or cult that calls on anyone else besides Allah. Some other Surahs which really stuck out for me were :
‎'Verily, those who divide their religion and break up into sects, you (O Muhammed pbuh) have no concern in them in the least. Their affair is only with Allah, who then will tell them what they used to do' (Surah Al-Anaam 160)

He causes the night to enter in upon the day, and He causes the day to enter in upon the night, and He has made subservient (to you) the sun and the moon; each one follows its course to an appointed time; this is God, your Lord, His is the kingdom; and those whom you call upon besides Him do not control a straw. If you call on them they shall not hear your call, and even if they could hear they shall not answer you; and on the resurrection day they will deny your associating them (shirk) (with God); and none can inform you like the One Who is Aware. (Quran 35:13-14)
Have you considered what you call upon besides God? Show me what they have created of the earth, or have they a share in the heavens? Bring me a book before this or traces of knowledge, if you are truthful. And who is in greater error than he who calls besides God upon those that will not answer him till the day of resurrection and they are heedless of their call? (Quran 46:4-5)

Anyway all praises to the one and only Allah swt, lord of the Heavens and the earth I was guided I lost so many friends because I denounced the Shia belief, but I didn't care and I still couldn't care less....but even though I had denounced it I still wasn't practicing, but this Ramadan I sat for itikaaf in the last 10 days and not only have I become practicing, but I feel at peace and when me and my cousins are having discussions on Islam I find this sudden rush of knowledge that I never knew even existed, every time I read the Quran I didn't know it really stuck in my head like that. That was my downfall all these years and every time I pray tahhujud I always ask for knowledge and subhanallah my lord is the best of planners.

What hurts me the most is, I have found the right way call it Sunni or whatever, to me its Islam which makes me a Muslim not a shafi or malaki or whatever because quiet honestly I think all these other sects are stuck in the same rut like Shia..so busy trying to prove to others that you're the right way that you forget what being a Muslim is, you forget the logical meaning behind the wisdom of the Quran but most importantly you forget that there is only one book and it is so simple, Allah swt has said I have made this book so simple for you to understand yet there are always trolls out there complicating such a beautiful and simple religion, in fact they are no different to atheists -too busy convincing others of their way because in reality they are just convincing themselves. Anyway again I have gone off track you see why I titled this a 'rant' lol ..my family have turned against me, my own father said to me to ask the ahlulbayat for anything you want and you will get it not by all this praying you do, you're not good enough to ask Allah directly, even though I explained it to him he just laughed at me and said 'go on, go ask your god and see if he answers your prayers' sarcastically. Whilst all this some of my cousins have denounced the Shia way not because I forced them but because they asked me questions and I didn't give my opinions i just told them what the Quran says and suddenly I am a wahabi and its just turned so nasty! I have had it up to here and I think I am just tired, because for once I don't want to fight anyone or prove anyone wrong I just want to be left alone to do my thing. People are telling me that I am hypocrite and that Surah Munafiqueen was written for people like me (they say this because Shia's believe it was written for abu baker, umar and usman -May allah's peace and blessings be upon them). If I go to the mosque I get laughed at because I'm going to the ''baker' mosque, I prayed in my cousins car and she said why the f%%% you gotta do that here. I get told off for not reading on the stone I can't even begin to explain the **** I have to put up with and although I know I shouldn't let this get to me but the truth is I wish i could burn my bridges with them but a Muslim should always keep good ties with their families. Which means I am left in the middle, I honestly don't know what to do...and this Muharram was even worse because all the Shia's are on a hype anyway and then I come trotting along lol the ultimate Yazid in their eyes (yep I have been called that) makes you think you can't please anyone, this is why I'm done pleasing people but I'm now on crossroads with some really close family and I feel lost because in the end I'm left alone and it shouldn't have to be like that but it is... I saw some other posts and you guys give out some great advice so please help a sister out here. What would you guys do in my situation? need some inspiration here!Sorry I am such a downer but lately their doesn't seem much to smile about and in the end I don't fancy living alone with my 10 cats because I get disowned by everyone for being a Muslim....

[Aram]

:ws:
Alhamdulillah that you found your way, i have some shia family members too so i can relate somewhat. What does your mother think of you being sunni?

i think the best way to deal with these disagreements is to be soft in your approach, i know this can be difficult when you have people calling you names and mocking and ridiculing you but your main aim should remain to speak the truth. Try to do it in a calm manner especially when speaking to your father. Try to have calm inquisitive discussions with him that seem more of the nature like you are wondering about certain things to do with shiaism rather than making it seem like you are refuting him. When you ask questions which he can't answer maybe inshaAllah he will start to think of things differently himself too.

Politely refuse to not join in on what they ask of you such as using the turbah etc and if they start arguing or hurling abuse just walk away because arguing only sends them into defense mode its not a good way to give them dawah. Consider this your mujahidah (struggle) think of the way RasoolAllah :saw: and the event of Ta'if when he was stoned by those who he was trying to give dawah too, read the same Dua that He :saw: read http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?52783-Dua-for-our-times-Prophet-%28sallallahu-alayhi-wa-sallam%29-at-Ta-if

Is there a chance you can get married to a sunni man?

oh yeh one more thing...majority of sunnis believe that all the four madhabs are correct (hanafi, shafi'i, maliki and hanbali) they have minor fiqhi differences but they are not like sects where anyone says that if you follow one of these madhabs you are not muslim etc they are all considered correct

[Maripat]

Salaam,
:ws:
What a journey sister. May Allah(SWT) make it easy for you. Life is full of these events when youngsters
can be so inspiring.


... I felt they took advantage of my lack of intelligence and shot me down for even questioning my belief.

Please do not be so hard on yourself. They shot down your arguments because they had those arguments that they used against you. These arguments are as programmed as the crying is programmed in the second half of the Majlis. This is old technology and you should not give too much credit to them.


I decided that I need to try again, so I opened the Quran once again in hope of some answers and I read a random Surah and this verse bought tears to my eyes .....

And our Lord Most Kind guides whomsoever He wishes to the right path! happy for you.


makes me a Muslim not a shafi or malaki or whatever because quiet honestly I think all these other sects are stuck in the same rut like Shia...

Easy sister. Even if the road is difficult you are obliged to search for the truth. May be we can take this point at a later time.

... he just laughed at me and said 'go on, go ask your god and see if he answers your prayers'

:astagh:


People are telling me that I am hypocrite and that Surah Munafiqueen was written for people like me ...

Actually other way round but we'll let it pass for now.


... although I know I shouldn't let this get to me but the truth is I wish i could burn my bridges with them but a Muslim should always keep good ties with their families.

Think about your Akhirah first.


Which means I am left in the middle, I honestly don't know what to do...and this Muharram was even worse because all the Shia's are on a hype anyway and then I come trotting along lol the ultimate Yazid in their eyes (yep I have been called that) makes you think you can't please anyone, this is why I'm done pleasing people but I'm now on crossroads with some really close family and I feel lost because in the end I'm left alone and it shouldn't have to be like that but it is... I saw some other posts and you guys give out some great advice so please help a sister out here.

May He(SWT) keep your Husn-ad-dhann. Is it possible to ask your mother to arrange your marriage to a Sunni guy?


What would you guys do in my situation? need some inspiration here!

May Allah(SWT) make it easy for you sister. You are the inspiration at the moment. If you can tell us your country we'll request the sisters there to come forward for your help (with the help of their respective families.)


Sorry I am such a downer but lately their doesn't seem much to smile about and in the end I don't fancy living alone with my 10 cats because I get disowned by everyone for being a Muslim....
You are not a downer sister and you stand owned by Allah(SWT) (see also here (http://anonahouse.blogspot.com/2010/11/and-then-allah-most-high-owned-him.html)). Let us keep the conversation on and Insha Allah Al-Aziz some way out of the current logjam will come out.

[Syeda123]

A.S Brother,
Thank you for your wise words, probably just what I needed..I have learnt now that Shia have rehearsed arguments on specific topics and are sometimes so quick to point out the shortcomings of Sunni's but don't see their own. In regards to your question I am from London, and my parents won't find me a Sunni guy my dad said he would rather I never get married then marry a Sunni. As for my mother she won't arrange it for me but she's happy for me to find someone myself which makes it abit hard as I have never been in the dating scene and I dont plan to start now either. To be honest if I marry a Sunni I wont have my fathers blessings and from what I know no respectable guy would marry a girl whose family refuse to give their blessings to her or even attend the nikah...which leaves me in a sticky situation....one sister told me to go to the local mosque but she did warn me that because I dont wear a hijab it might not be easy because most guys are practicing who have a preference for a hijabi sister....lets see inshahallah Allah has something planned.

[Maripat]

:ws:
I feel happy that you are from London. London is quite well represented here at SF. You have not got some of the things quite right about the situation. I'll further wait for responses from brothers and sisters from your locality. May Allah(SWT)'s help be with you.

[Syeda123]

a.s Sister, My mum is cool with it, she didn't at first agree with a lot of what I used to speak but alhumdulillah she has stopped participating in Shia rituals, I don't take any part in the things they do anymore. I do agree with you that I should take a calm approach and speak to my dad about it, and believe me when I say I have tried over and over again the only good that has come out of it is that he has started to pray 5 times whereas before it was 4 and sometimes 5. Honestly though if I rolled out a red carpet, sprinkle fairydust over him and whisper to him in the most kindest manner his response will always be ' you are the followers of Muwaiyah, you are the enemies of ahlulbayat'. As for marriage with a sunni, I replied to the previous brother in regards to that.

[Quandary]

:salam:

Respected sister, your father is not a suitable wali due to his Ithna Ash'arism. Refer to a local Imam so he can help.

[Maripat]

This sister needs active participation by brothers and sisters in London. I'll urge them to come forward to sort out her matters. This is a social duty and it should be pleasant too, IA.

[abdulwahhab]

:salam:

That is a very inspiration trip from darkness to light.

:insh: sisters from London may be able to help you out in your situation. As brother Quandary has mentioned, your father does not qualify and his say in your marriage in an attempt for you to safeguard your deen is not valid. Speak to the imam at your nearest masjid first and ask him for advice in your current situation. He may be able to convince your father for the better :insh:.

[AbuMuslimKhorasani]

Salaam,
Walaikum Salam,

Allah Akbar! All praise be to Allah (swt) he guides whom he wills. We and you should be thankful to Allah (swt).

إِنَّ هَٰذَا الْقُرْآنَ يَهْدِي لِلَّتِي هِيَ أَقْوَمُ وَيُبَشِّرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ الَّذِينَ يَعْمَلُونَ الصَّالِحَاتِ أَنَّ لَهُمْ أَجْرًا كَبِيرًا
Indeed, this Qur'an guides to that which is most suitable and gives good tidings to the believers who do righteous deeds that they will have a great reward. [17:9]

Also, Hanafi, Shafi, Maliki are Hanbali are school of thoughts NOT SECTS.

[Maripat]

I am hoping that some local sisters will start taking serious interest in this sister's problems. Particularly senior sisters.

[ummitaalib]

Wa'alaykumus salaam warahmatullaah dear sister Syeda123!
Your story increases faith in the infinite mercy and sheer grace of Allah subhaanahu wata'ala upon us. May Allah subhaanhau wata'ala increase His blessings upon us and keep us on the Siraatal Mustaqeem and may He guide your family and the whole ummah. You must never give up as this is but a test from Allah subhaanahu wata'ala.

Sister aram and brother maripat have given great advice but if you wish to communicate with someone further or would like to be put in touch with Scholars then please feel free to ask the mods for my email address.

[Maripat]

:jazak: Apa.

[Syeda123]

A.S

Thank you everyone for your replies, I will ask after your email address sister.
I have one more question, a sister told me yesterday I would need to take my shahadah according to majority of Ahle Sunnah scholars, I really hope I don't it wouldn't feel right.

[Aichaj]

Dear Sister, I read your story with sadness because I can relate to your situation but from a different perspective. I have a younger sister that married a Shia. Her husband was Shia all along but pretended to be Sunni until they married. Then he revealed his true identity and gave my sister two choices, be a Shia or get a divorce. At the time my sister's Islam was weak and she was easily convinced to believe that we Sunni and Shia are all the same, "we only differ on historical facts". To make a long story short she chose to be a Shia and that is when things got nasty. For the last 5 years I have said no more that Assalamu alaikum to her. She has had three children that I have had little to no interaction with. I too have my own children that she barely knows. We neither visit each other. Why you must be wondering? Well when we discovered her conversion we confronted her about it as a family. (btw we discovered that they were Shia by accident through a mutual friend, she never planned to tell us) Our confrontation was more out of dismay of her deception. Her reaction was deplorable. She left no stone unturned and hurled every insult imaginable. She was verbally abuse to everyone in my family, parents and all. She felt justified in her choice to be a Shia and would rip apart anyone that would challenge her decision. She cut herself off from the family and any encounters we would have with her would be witness to her rage. We were called ignorant/uneducated and could not understand shiism because we were not "intellectual" like herself and her husband believed themselves to be. We were accused of being jealous that she was Shia and we were not. (these are the "kinder" things she said) She cut the ties that bind with me when she decided to send me a 4 page letter listing all the horrible things she has felt about me. The things she said were so hurtful and unforgivable I can barely stand to be in the same room with her as she carries on smugly like she has no care in the world. So yes I understand your frustration, I know exactly where you are coming from.

I too have my issues with the differences between hanafi and malaki but there difference are minor and do not impact our unity as muslims as they still fall under the banner of Sunni. And I too don't care for the "Sunni" label as I view myself as a muslim only but in light of the vary sects of islam out there I feel I have to label myself as a Sunni to clearly differentiate myself from these other sects. This is understandable considering we do not want to be painted with the same brush. I dont think there are any Sunni or Shia out there that would want to be considered one and the same.

Let it be a consolation to you that the more your Shia family fight you the more you should feel secure in that you are on the right path. Allah clearly states how we are to deal with Muslims and non Muslims alike. The behavior of our shia family member contradicts everything the Qur'an says. I too tried to reconcile my sister's belief in shisim but I couldn't. I did a lot of research about there beliefs and I could not accept the infallibility of their imams, the imams being manifestations of Allah (aoudoubilah), nor could I accept their calling on Ali, mehdi, fatima, zahra or anyone else for help simply because they are ahlel bayt. These beliefs fall contrary to what the Quran says. My dear sister, this is your jihad, and I pray that Allah will keep you and us all on the straight path. I pray that he will give you the confidence and courage in the face of those that cause you to have doubt in your deen. I will pray for you to continue to find the truth in your journey to becoming the best Muslim you can be. I also pray that Allah will guide and bless those that have been led astray, your family and mine included. My advice to you is that you surround yourself with those that share your beliefs. You are not alone there are a billion of us out there! Feel free to rant whenever you need to. If anything, the brothers and sisters on this board are here to support you. Stay firm in your belief and focused on shaping who you are going forward to the Quran and Sunnah of the prophet.

Sincerely,

Your sister in Islam....Aicha


Salaam,

Okay so this is probably going to be long, brace yourselves :p ...
I want to give you a little background of my belief before I get bashed by some Shia :frown:
I was bought up as a Shia...went to Majilis as a child, was forced to cry in Muharram lol ok not forced but you weren't a cool kid back then if you didn't shed a tear and I watched back as every year we beat ourselves and wailed and kissed the (I actually don't know the name for it) things that looked like a coffin with blood splattered over it (well red coloring) and I even remember eating a rose of it lol...this is so messed up ! I guess it isnt a laughing matter but even as a kid i never understood the significance of all this and till this day can never accept this as part of Islam. Most of my family are Shia, infact some were Sunni's but then "saw the light" as they like to put it and followed the Shia belief. My mum however is not a shia, she comes from a sunni family but I suppose when she married my dad she strayed for a while, either that or she didn't see it as anything that was out of the ordinary. My father a very devout Shia then and now. The thing is at a young age I saw myself constantly questioning the Shia belief and my heart could never accept there way. When I was 17 I bought myself the translation of the Quran thinking once I read this I will be able to find my answers, don't get me wrong the answers were in there but my intelligence didn't match up for me to be able to understand it. So I carried on, and once again Islam knocked on my hearts door and I reached out and got knocked back because I was surrounded by some very arrogant and stern friends who were shia, and although I wasn't that knowledgeable in Islam I had a thousand questions and often I felt they took advantage of my lack of intelligence and shot me down for even questioning my belief. So once again, I decided not to look into it...so much time passed and It had been almost 2 years since I had even prayed, which makes me really sad and I hate to admit it but thats the truth. I was living away at university and it made me realise being miles away from home how much I lacked something and felt a void in my heart it wasn't me being homesick, rather I felt no peace in myself because I was so far from Islam, this one particular night I felt scared I cant remember why, so I asked my very 'knowledgeable' friend what dua to read and he said read 'nade ali' its a dua in which you call out to Hazrat Ali to protect you...I refused, and this friend told me I wasn't a muslim if i didn't call out to Ali, of course the conversation ended and so did our friendship because he just decided to put a fatwa out on me lol
I decided that I need to try again, so I opened the Quran once again in hope of some answers and I read a random Surah and this verse bought tears to my eyes because I was so frustrated for so long and this one verse answered all my questions 'Do then those who disbelieve think that they can take my slaves as Auliya besides me? Verily, we have prepared hell as an entertainment for the disbelievers' Surah Kahf-102. This was not only for the Christians and Jews, its for every other sect, religion or cult that calls on anyone else besides Allah. Some other Surahs which really stuck out for me were :
‎'Verily, those who divide their religion and break up into sects, you (O Muhammed pbuh) have no concern in them in the least. Their affair is only with Allah, who then will tell them what they used to do' (Surah Al-Anaam 160)

He causes the night to enter in upon the day, and He causes the day to enter in upon the night, and He has made subservient (to you) the sun and the moon; each one follows its course to an appointed time; this is God, your Lord, His is the kingdom; and those whom you call upon besides Him do not control a straw. If you call on them they shall not hear your call, and even if they could hear they shall not answer you; and on the resurrection day they will deny your associating them (shirk) (with God); and none can inform you like the One Who is Aware. (Quran 35:13-14)
Have you considered what you call upon besides God? Show me what they have created of the earth, or have they a share in the heavens? Bring me a book before this or traces of knowledge, if you are truthful. And who is in greater error than he who calls besides God upon those that will not answer him till the day of resurrection and they are heedless of their call? (Quran 46:4-5)

Anyway all praises to the one and only Allah swt, lord of the Heavens and the earth I was guided I lost so many friends because I denounced the Shia belief, but I didn't care and I still couldn't care less....but even though I had denounced it I still wasn't practicing, but this Ramadan I sat for itikaaf in the last 10 days and not only have I become practicing, but I feel at peace and when me and my cousins are having discussions on Islam I find this sudden rush of knowledge that I never knew even existed, every time I read the Quran I didn't know it really stuck in my head like that. That was my downfall all these years and every time I pray tahhujud I always ask for knowledge and subhanallah my lord is the best of planners.

What hurts me the most is, I have found the right way call it Sunni or whatever, to me its Islam which makes me a Muslim not a shafi or malaki or whatever because quiet honestly I think all these other sects are stuck in the same rut like Shia..so busy trying to prove to others that you're the right way that you forget what being a Muslim is, you forget the logical meaning behind the wisdom of the Quran but most importantly you forget that there is only one book and it is so simple, Allah swt has said I have made this book so simple for you to understand yet there are always trolls out there complicating such a beautiful and simple religion, in fact they are no different to atheists -too busy convincing others of their way because in reality they are just convincing themselves. Anyway again I have gone off track you see why I titled this a 'rant' lol ..my family have turned against me, my own father said to me to ask the ahlulbayat for anything you want and you will get it not by all this praying you do, you're not good enough to ask Allah directly, even though I explained it to him he just laughed at me and said 'go on, go ask your god and see if he answers your prayers' sarcastically. Whilst all this some of my cousins have denounced the Shia way not because I forced them but because they asked me questions and I didn't give my opinions i just told them what the Quran says and suddenly I am a wahabi and its just turned so nasty! I have had it up to here and I think I am just tired, because for once I don't want to fight anyone or prove anyone wrong I just want to be left alone to do my thing. People are telling me that I am hypocrite and that Surah Munafiqueen was written for people like me (they say this because Shia's believe it was written for abu baker, umar and usman -May allah's peace and blessings be upon them). If I go to the mosque I get laughed at because I'm going to the ''baker' mosque, I prayed in my cousins car and she said why the f%%% you gotta do that here. I get told off for not reading on the stone I can't even begin to explain the **** I have to put up with and although I know I shouldn't let this get to me but the truth is I wish i could burn my bridges with them but a Muslim should always keep good ties with their families. Which means I am left in the middle, I honestly don't know what to do...and this Muharram was even worse because all the Shia's are on a hype anyway and then I come trotting along lol the ultimate Yazid in their eyes (yep I have been called that) makes you think you can't please anyone, this is why I'm done pleasing people but I'm now on crossroads with some really close family and I feel lost because in the end I'm left alone and it shouldn't have to be like that but it is... I saw some other posts and you guys give out some great advice so please help a sister out here. What would you guys do in my situation? need some inspiration here!Sorry I am such a downer but lately their doesn't seem much to smile about and in the end I don't fancy living alone with my 10 cats because I get disowned by everyone for being a Muslim....