Abu Ashbaal
07-07-2012, 09:17 PM
Assalam alaykum
My wife and I are considering her coming to live in my country. So that things will be easier for us because I can easily provide for her here(in my country) and that it is a very long and rigourous process for me to migrate to her country. However, we are unsure what to do about her 5 year old daughter. We are both concerned about whether or not we should leave her with her father who is also Muslim. Our concern lies in the fact that during the time he has her. He encourages and admonishes her to enjoy Christmas, Easter, Birthdays and National Holidays. The daughter has complained that he no longer goes to the masjid on Friday like he used to. He discourages her from wearing hijab(which she likes to do because she sees her mommy wearing it) and does not like the idea of her going to any Islamic private schools, he prefers she go to a Catholic school where apparently she will have a better education. All these things make us concerned about how he will raise her if he is to keep her.
There was a legal case that resulted in my wife being afforded full custody and the father visitation right of 3 weekends out of the 4 in the month. She may carry the daughter on a vacation outside of the country but she cannot change the child's residence without giving him(the father) 90 days notice so that he can disagree and if he disagrees then to file a judicial complaint. Because he earns a significant amount of money and that he has a big family(most are non muslim) I am concerned that the Courts may find him to be a more suitable guardian for the daughter to stay with as opposed to the child growing up with us where she would be brought up in an islamic home.
The situation that avoids that is if my wife stays in her country then there is no problems since she has already been given custody.
So in other words we would like to know the following:
Should we leave the daughter with the father?
If yes, should my wife be allowed to see or spend time with the daughter?
If no, should we just take the daughter and provide him access? Should we give him notice in a reasonable timeframe?
Or for my wife to remain in her country?
In essence, regardless of which option, we would like to know what is Islamically right so that everyone gets what is their right and none of us is dealt with unjustly.
Any other information that is needed that I have not provided please let me know.
Thank you all and May Allah swt rectify all of our affairs and make them easier for us. Ameen.
My wife and I are considering her coming to live in my country. So that things will be easier for us because I can easily provide for her here(in my country) and that it is a very long and rigourous process for me to migrate to her country. However, we are unsure what to do about her 5 year old daughter. We are both concerned about whether or not we should leave her with her father who is also Muslim. Our concern lies in the fact that during the time he has her. He encourages and admonishes her to enjoy Christmas, Easter, Birthdays and National Holidays. The daughter has complained that he no longer goes to the masjid on Friday like he used to. He discourages her from wearing hijab(which she likes to do because she sees her mommy wearing it) and does not like the idea of her going to any Islamic private schools, he prefers she go to a Catholic school where apparently she will have a better education. All these things make us concerned about how he will raise her if he is to keep her.
There was a legal case that resulted in my wife being afforded full custody and the father visitation right of 3 weekends out of the 4 in the month. She may carry the daughter on a vacation outside of the country but she cannot change the child's residence without giving him(the father) 90 days notice so that he can disagree and if he disagrees then to file a judicial complaint. Because he earns a significant amount of money and that he has a big family(most are non muslim) I am concerned that the Courts may find him to be a more suitable guardian for the daughter to stay with as opposed to the child growing up with us where she would be brought up in an islamic home.
The situation that avoids that is if my wife stays in her country then there is no problems since she has already been given custody.
So in other words we would like to know the following:
Should we leave the daughter with the father?
If yes, should my wife be allowed to see or spend time with the daughter?
If no, should we just take the daughter and provide him access? Should we give him notice in a reasonable timeframe?
Or for my wife to remain in her country?
In essence, regardless of which option, we would like to know what is Islamically right so that everyone gets what is their right and none of us is dealt with unjustly.
Any other information that is needed that I have not provided please let me know.
Thank you all and May Allah swt rectify all of our affairs and make them easier for us. Ameen.