marraige prob...

[maya_123]

i hv been engaged to the person of my choice Alhamdo Lillah. After huge problems n troubles posed by the person's family, the engagement somehow took place. his family never never wanted me as their daughter in law. after much struggle n efforts our engagemnt took place.
Nao the prob is that my wud-be-in laws are trying to avoid the marriage by all means. they donot maintain any kind of contact wid my family, nor do they ever visit us. whenever my parents call them to decide abt the wedding date n all they jst day yes we vil come this week , yes we vil come next week....but they never come!! they dont come at allllll.
me and my fiance have had terrible fights on this issue whenever i complain to him abt his family's attitude. he jst cant listen anythng agaist them n so i hv stopped complaining. instead nao i explain him very nicely about the problems n issues that his family is creating....but he has a somewhat blind trust on them. he is like u donot try to undrtsnd them, they r very much willing for u, they want us to get married, but thr r othr issues lyk finances getting short n all. THE FACT IS THR R NO ISSUES....I KNOWWWW. he is all the tym being fooled up by his parents!!
uski family (mom dad, basically) usay itnaa zada brain wash krtay hain, itna zada bewqoof bnatay hain kay i dun hv words!! nao he is like; larki walon ko contact rakhna chahaye larkay waalo se, mere dad kehtay hain ye....
n my fiance has also made me make calls to his parents to make dem happy....whereas his parents didnt even call at the time when my father was in hospital admitted n thr ws little hope....last stage of TB....he recovered, but those ppl didnt even bother to make a single ph call. my fiance says haan un ne ghalti ki ph na kr k. bas dats it n den he forgets.
dont ask me to leave him....i luv him truly n cant imagine lyf widout him.

plx plx plx tell me some duaa for either to turn my in laws' hearts wid love for me and they give/take marriage date soon OR some duaa to turn my fiance in my favor against his family as i knw they r doing wrong. tell me some duaa or anythng to get his favors n supports against in laws. i m v much worried

[xs11ax]

you are not even married yet, so you shouldnt even be having all this contact with him.

you are not even married yet and you are having all these problems. imagine the problems you will have after getting married.

best to rethink your marriage strategy!

[mercyofAllah]

:bism:
Stop contacting him by yourself as this is clear disobedience of Allah SWT that will incur the wrath of Allah SWT which can turn away the blessings. Better leave it to parents to deal with. Just make sincere tawbah to Allah SWT and keep seeking His help. Allahu alam

[maya_123]

plx dont say this...dont ask me to re-consider my decision abt marrying him. i want to be wid him....spend my lyf wid him...And Insha Allah i will. i m very tensed.

[mercyofAllah]

:bism:
Don't be tensed. If he is in your taqdir, you will marry him. Whatever I am advising is to cut the contact with him which is not good. Leave the matter to the elders and keep praying to Allah SWT and keep seeking His SWT forgiveness.
Allahu alam

PS: BTW only ulema are supposed to answer in this section. I am sorry for the replies.

[maya_123]

i hv ceased contact for the last five days coz i m annoyed n i m lyk first send ur parents for fixing up the wedding dates n den we may tawk again.... i m nt in contct wid him. i m praying hard, real hard to Allah. n ofcourse the elders will deal. i m praying v hard. Allah will accept my prayers naa? do u or any1 who reads this knw of any specfic duaa that may help the matters resolve, i vil be extremely indebted fr the favor

[mercyofAllah]

:bism:
The best duaa as far as marriage is concerned:
"Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhuriyyatina qurrata A'yunin waj'alna lil-muttaqina imama."

"Our Lord! grant us in our mates and offspring the joy of our eyes and make us patterns for those who guard against evil." (25:74)

And then this:
Rabbi inni lima anzalta ilayya min khairin fakeer.

O Lord,Verily I am in ( desperate ) need of (whatever) good you may send me.

[Aram]

if the family do not like you now they will probably treat you even more badly if you marry him...and it sounds like he will not support you if this happens, he will take his families side....and if you have to live with your in-laws then you will probably be very miserable

it seems they do not have any respect for you and your family

Aap ki marzi hai agar phir bhi ayse khaandan se taluq rakhna chahati ho lekin hamarey culture mein larkey wale khud date set karte hai aur khud larki ke parents ko contact kartein hai...agar larki walon ko yeh baar baar kehna parta hai k aap logh date set karein....to aap ke parents ko bhi dukh pohnch raha hoga...unka bhi zara socho, unse mashwara lo ke kya karna chahiye. Is pyar ke chakar mein logh aandhey ho jatey hai...shaadi ke badh hi unko saaf dikhai deta hai

[hayya]

Salaat Istihkaara sis. Insha'Allah you will be guided to what is good for you in this life and the next.

[Zahed]

if the family do not like you now they will probably treat you even more badly if you marry him...and it sounds like he will not support you if this happens, he will take his families side....and if you have to live with your in-laws then you will probably be very miserable

it seems they do not have any respect for you and your family

Aap ki marzi hai agar phir bhi ayse khaandan se taluq rakhna chahati ho lekin hamarey culture mein larkey wale khud date set karte hai aur khud larki ke parents ko contact kartein hai...agar larki walon ko yeh baar baar kehna parta hai k aap logh date set karein....to aap ke parents ko bhi dukh pohnch raha hoga...unka bhi zara socho, unse mashwara lo ke kya karna chahiye. Is pyar ke chakar mein logh aandhey ho jatey hai...shaadi ke badh hi unko saaf dikhai deta hai

Mera khiyal hai, aap ki naseehat bekar hain.

[maya_123]

Thanku so much....but dis is jst marriage duaa. Is thr such any duaa for marriage wid a specific person??

[sudoku]

:salam:

Sister maya, du'aa is a simply a weapon, and you have to know how to wield that weapon if you want it to work.

What I mean by this is that making du'aa has its benefits, but if we are not going to follow what Allah commands, then how can we expect Allah to accept our du'aas?

Along with du'aa, we must try to leave the acts that may cause Allah's anger. As many mentioned in this thread, talking to a non-mahram is not allowed in Islam. You should cut contact with him until the actual nikaah is done. Engagement (or mungni) is not the same as nikaah and does not make your fiance (mungetar) halal for you. If you have already cut contact with him, then see what else you can improve in your life Islam wise. Are you covering yourself properly when you go out? Are you reading salaah on time? Things like that.

You should make du'aa as normal and then leave it all up to Allah. Sometimes a person likes something but Allah knows that thing is not good for that person. Whatever you are supposed to get in this world, you will get. And if you are not supposed to get something, no matter how much you try, you will not get it. In that case, you should just leave your trust to Allah and know that He has something better for you, if not in this world, then the next.

[taliburizarehman]

Assalamu Alaikum warahmatullahi t3ala wabarakatuhu,

Sister, ask ALLAH :taala: to solve your problems and do whats best for you.
Sister this is the month of Ramadhan! Every night and day of this month is so blessed, we cant even imagine! Take an
advantage of this month, and tell ALLAH :taala: everything! Even though he already knows, share all your worries with him,
and ask him for help, and watch your problems solve right in front of you in ways you wont even imagine, keep hope in ALLAH t3ala.
The last 10 nights are coming, dont waste your time in depression and crying, do loads of ibadah, make lots of dua, pray and ask ALLAH
:taalah: for his help, dont let this sacred nights just pass by, esa ho he nhe sakta ke aap ALLAH :taalah: se maangay aur wo apki dua ko
zaaya janay se, barkat waali raato ki qeemat ko janyi, aur unka faidah uthaiye, in raato mai tho kiya kiya nhe hosakta, aazma ke tho dekhyi,
humaray piyaaray rub ki meherbaaniya, maayoosi tho dhoor thak nhe chahni chahye...

Good you've cut contact from him, now keep it that way, let me tell you something sister, in this world if you want someones
attention, you can only get it by avoiding the person, if his family will want this to happen, they will come to you.
Also, most importantly it is haram to be in contact with him,until a proper nikah is done.

Do istikharah, We as humans, are weak ourselves, we cant solve our own problems, so instead of asking us for advice,
turn to ALLAH :taalah: ask him to guide you,do istikharah properly not once, twice or for just 7 days, but continue until
ALLAH :taalah: shows you the right decision, then comes mashwarah, and mashwarah is not done online, first ask your parents what
they think, then ulema.

Always ask for afiyah, Sister when your making dua, apni baat per israar nhe kijyi, bulke ALLAH :taala: se behtari maangyi,
Look, we are weak, and our knowledge is limited, we dont know whats better for us, you could be asking ALLAH for something,
and it could be very bad for you, ALLAH :taalah: states in the Quran Karim:
"3asa an tuhibbu shai'an w huwa sharrun lakun w 3asa an takrahu shai'an wa huwa khairun lakum" - you may like something but there is shar in it and you may hate something but Allah SWT has made in it kheir
And Allah SWT adds...."3asa an takrahu shai'an wa yaz3alluLLAHA fihi khairan kathira" - u may hate something but ALLAH has plentified that thing with khair

We humans fall in love with something, and then beg for it, without thinking, this love blinds our eyes, and sometimes the consequences
are bad, then we regret, so you have the time now sister, to make the proper decision, dont rush, and ask ALLAH t3ala to guide you towards
whats better for you, and if this isnt good for you, to direct your heart away from it, and if theres khair, then to open ways.
Who knows, ALLAH may have a much much better husband for you, so dont limit your options, and ask for whats best.

keep praying istikhara and do istighfaar alot and try avoiding sins (small and big) and do alot of ibadah and then leave the rest to ALLAH :taala:
If it does happen it is because its ur kheir, if it doesnt thank ALLAH that he removed shar from ur path.

Even the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, warned the muslims when they desired war with their enemies, he sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
told them to ask for afiyah. I advice you what our beloved prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam has adviced us.

Also, sister most times marrying someone without his/her familys happiness means trouble, if his family doesnt
want this marriage to happen, I dont think it is a good idea to go on with it, it can triple the problems after marriage,
but khair, Wallahu alam, his is the all-knowing, most wise, May he guide you to the right decision, and give you the perfect husband for you.