Wudhu' is one of major forms of attaining taharah. So lets get the basis covered, and then we move towards some other details.
Wudhu has 4 Fardh (obligatory acts).
Punch Line : This means, as long as these four acts are done, the taharah of wudhu is attained.
1. Wash Face
2. Wash hands up till and including elbows
3. Making masah of 25% of the head.
4. Wash feet including ankles
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Having understood that the size of hollow of the palm for the amount of najasah is not derived from thin air, rather from the salaf, it is equally important to understand why such small quantity of najasah is overlooked, so much so that even salah is valid with it.
Essentially, much of this ruling has to do with haraj (inconvenience). Relieving oneself is a daily occurance, and to task it with absolute clarity would make a high degree of inconvenience to masses.
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One wonder's where does this issue of hollow of palm comes from. After all impurity, whether it is little or more. It is filthy. How can one say that having some filth on body less than the size of hollow of palm, is excused. It defies logic.
This is a waswasa some of the questioners are often troubled with. They keep persisting on cleaning completely. In doing so, some times they spend upto 15 minutes in Instinjaa' and are still not content.
Basic Principle :
A. If the impurity leaves the passage but does not mess the area at all, then it is mustahab to make istinjaa'
B. If the impurity leaves the passage and mess the area less than the hollow of one's palm, then it is sunnah to make istinjaa'
C. If the impurity leaves the passage and mess the area more than the hollow of one's palm,, then it is fardh to make istinjaa'
In condition A and condition
It is rumoured in the legends of unheard fables that every moment adds a streak of wisdom to one's life. We always consider the old to have acquired the wisdom of time. "Maine yeh baal dhoop main safed naheen kiyay", goes an urdu saying. It mentions an old chap iterating the ideology that age old experience is the cause of white hairs, and not merely sun-bathing.
The parents always know whats best for the kids. Why not, when they have lived longer, seen much more