Beat the children with love
by, 13-06-2012 at 03:14 PM (1165 Views)
Hakeemul-Ummah Hazrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (rahmatullahi alahi) used to say, : ‘When someone becomes my follower, my main concern and worry is not to reform that person, instead my first concern is to embed my love in that persons heart since if he loves me, he will obey me.’ Similarly, once the child loves his parents, he will be prepared to do anything for them. To get angry with one’s child and to chase him out of the home may not be an effective form of punishment. In fact in many cases the child will be too happy to be away from the angry nagging parents. Yes, if the child loves the parent, then the slight displeasure of the parent is sufficient to stop the child from further displeasing the parent. In this era we need to “beat” our children with love, mercy and kindness or else we may loose them.
Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat (hafizahullah) has often mentioned that children need love, respect and friendship. If they do not get it at home they will search for it elsewhere and in doing this they are more than likely to end up with the wrong friendships. Shaykh Riyaadhul Haqq has also mentioned the subject of how children are put under tremendous pressure even where their Deeni education is concerned.
Harsh treatment and harsh words creates resentment and even enmity in the hearts of children and in the West one hears of young boys and even young girls leaving home with financial and other support from the government (Through working with young women I personally have known three such cases in recent years). It is our own children who lose out! Disciplining should be done with love and firmness without harshness and violence.
These teachings of our Mashaikh are taken from no other source than the teachings and example of our beloved Prophet Muhammad sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam. May Allah subhaanahu wata'ala grant us the tawfeeq to appreciate the blessings of children and grant us beautiful akhlaaq with them, aameen.