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ummitaalib

Sharing in the Grief of Others

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ummitaalib
, 19-09-2012 at 08:23 PM (1085 Views)
When visiting the sick ('Iyaadah) or consolling the bereaved (Ta'ziyah) do we become the means of comfort and help or do we in fact comfort oursleves by feeling we have done a great deed?

When these visits are not according to the beautiful sunnah of our beloved Rasool sallalaahu 'alayhi wasallam and the correct intentions, we become a tiresome burden on those we should be comforting. According to the teachings of Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat, "The aim of Ta'ziyah is to strengthen the broken-hearted and give hope at a time when their hope may be waning."

Such words or actions should be used which lessens the grief of the loss suffered by the bereaved or give hope and comfort to the sick who in most cases are in pain and fear of loss of good health. This would be sharing in the grief of others. Shaykh says that his respected father (Raheemahullah) used to advise him that if he could not share in the happiness of others (for some reason) then it was fine however he must always share in the grief of those suffering.

Every teaching of our beloved Prophet Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam regarding Mu'aasharat (Beautiful Social Conduct) is about behaving in such a way that no inconvenience / burden or hurt is felt by anyone.

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  1. Salman_Hanafi's Avatar
    Sometimes what happens in my country is that if you have a big family, the moment you get sick and the relatives come to hear of it, they would rush to meet the sick person. The immediate family members of the sick person are then obliged to offer them food and drink multiple times as different herds come in at different times, and they get tired of the "visitors making iyaadah after a few days. The people doing Iyaadah themselves become a burden. Same goes for funerals. You have mentioned quite an important point to ponder for many.
  2. ummitaalib's Avatar
    Assalaamu 'alaykum ww
    Same thing happens here at funerals. Instead of lightening the burden of the bereaved we become a burden by them having to worry about our food of all things! As for 'Iyaadah, main problem is people overstaying with the house people worrying about not only food for the guests but also the patient's meals, medication times, bath etc. May Allah ta'ala grant us the sunnah of our beloved Rasool sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam. Only in this salvation of both worlds, ease and blessings.