mixing between sexes in islam

[dawud_uk]

Assalaamu alaykum,

i am trying to write down some short evidences for some co-workers in an islamic project to convince them free mixing in islam is not permissable.

what i am specifically looking for if anyone has it are direct evidences, Quran, ahhaddith and especially qoutes from the early ulema such as the four imams.

here is what i have so far, can the people of knowledge on this forum take a look and add to it if possible,

jazakallah,


Some Evidences from the Quran

1. "Stay in your houses and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance and offer prayer perfectly and give Zakat and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah only wishes to remove evil deeds and sins from you, O members of the family [of the Prophet] and to purify you with a thorough purification." (al-Ahzab 33).

2. "O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies. That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful" (al-Ahzab 59).

3. “Say to the believing men that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts; that is purer for them; surely Allah is Aware of what they do.” (al-Nur 30)

4. "Tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornments except only that which is apparent and to draw their veils over necks and bosoms and not to reveal their adornments except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their women or the (female) slaves, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful" (al-Nur 31).

5. "And when you ask them (the prophet’s wives), ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts" (al-Ahzab 53).


Some evidences from the ahaddith

1. Um Salmah radi Allahu anha says that she and Maymoonah radi Allahu anha were in the presence of the holy Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when Abdullah ibn Um Maktum, who was BLIND, came there. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said "Go behind the curtain and screen yourself" Um Salmah said "O Prophet of Allah, he is Blind. At this Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said "are you also blind? don't you see him? (Agreed upon by Tirmidhi, Ahmad and Abu Dawud)

2. Oqbah bin Amer reports that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said "Beware of mingling with women" A man from the Ansar asked "O messenger of Allah, inform me about the Hamwa (Hamwa are the relatives of the husband except for the father and son). He said the Hamwa are death." (Sahih Bukhari and Agreed Upon by Muslim)

3. Abu Hurairah radi Allahu anhu relates that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said a man commits adultery with his eyes when he looks at a strange (non-Mahram) woman"(Sahih Bukhari and Agreed Upon by Muslim also can be found in Riyadh-Us-Saleheen (Arabic English) vol. 2 page 792 Hadith1622)

[Omar HH]

> Please elucidate on how Muslims in the West
> should deal with non-Mahram Muslim family members
> of the opposite sex.
> Can we have mixed dinners and functions with them?
> Can we look at them? If they are women and we are
> men, do the rulings change?

Basically all of the guidelines in the Explanatory
Notes for Song 37 have to be followed with
non-Mahram family members of the opposite
sex (e.g., cousins). Thus:

a) One may not look at the light or coarse
nakedness of the person. However, one may
look at their face (e.g., when conversing
with them). This entails that one dress
modestly as if one were in public.
b) One may not casually touch, hug, or kiss
the person (except its o.k. to touch in
cases of need and in cases where the
age difference between the two people is
so great that "flirting" is inconceivable
(such as a very old woman holding hands with
a seven-year-old child),
c) One may not be alone with that person
in a closed room without another discerning
human being.

As for mixed-gender functions, it has been the practice
of the rightly guided people of this nation
for fourteen hundred years that men and women
sit separately when invited to the same
social function at someone's house or a
banquet hall. We do not say that it is unlawful
for related non-mahram men and women to
sit together or eat together, but in many
cases it may be disliked (since it will cause
them to lose the reward for being more modest -
especially when the two people are both young
and single).

Now if one practices the extended family
system (as some cultures do), then there
is more leniency allowed but the three
restrictions mentioned above (a, b, an c)
must still be followed according to the
best of one's ability.

References:
Explanatory Notes for Song 37 and related entries
in the Notes of Sources.

[Companion]

Assalamu alaikum.

We must define free mixing as it may vary with different individuals.

However Quran tells us that the believeing men and women are friends and protectors of one another.

Further we draw insight from the story of Musa when he went up two ladies that were standing by and conversed with them to find wether they needed any assistance. This shows us that with necessity and as part of one believing community to help each other we may interact with the opposite sex.