Description beneath the hijab

[sunflower]

Assalaamu alaikum
In a mixed gathering I was asked about what my hair is like under my hijab, this was very uncomfortable for me as my hair is covered for a reason so I really shouldnt be describing it infront of non mehrams. I was however told that this is no big deal. I would like to know to what extent one could describe ones hair under the hijab in a mixed gathering?? ANd any advice on how to avoid doing so if this is not permissable?
wasalaam

[jaylen]

to me that's a stupid question to be asked, I personally just say "it's this color. the same as my eyebrows. the texture..does it do you any benefit to know?" I despise such ignorant non-beneficial questions. by the way who asked you this? to me this is just absolute ignorance to ask in a mixed setting. If it's so important why don't the ask you to go to the bathroom and give them a peek if it's soooooooooo important to know..man some people.

islamically, I'm not sure but it's just annoying

[sunflower]

to me that's a stupid question to be asked, I personally just say "it's this color. the same as my eyebrows. the texture..does it do you any benefit to know?" I despise such ignorant non-beneficial questions. by the way who asked you this? to me this is just absolute ignorance to ask in a mixed setting. If it's so important why don't the ask you to go to the bathroom and give them a peek if it's soooooooooo important to know..man some people.

islamically, I'm not sure but it's just annoying

i feel same as you, i get asked by other muslimah, usually ones that are not so familar with rules of covering hence their casual attitude to asking the question in mixed gatherings.

[sunflower]

Also how do brothers feel about this is their sister,mother, wife , daughter gets asked this question in a mixed gathering?

[abdushakur]

Also how do brothers feel about this is their sister,mother, wife , daughter gets asked this question in a mixed gathering?

I would be more alarmed that members of my family were in the mixed gathering in the first place. Especially within earshot of non-mahrams.

Depends what you mean by "mixed gathering".
Standing in a mixed queue at a bus-stop would be ok i suppose.


A related question: If a brother is interested in a sister for marriage, is it permissible for him to ask his mother/sister/aunt etc. to describe his prospective brides hair?

[jaylen]

I know my dad gets offended because it's really something insignifcant to bring up in a gathering. As br. Abushakur said it depends on the setting.

Your best thing is to democratically say "no" if it's in a mixed setting. and explain that islamically it's not proper. Second, try to educate them on how you feel and why. some people think tight jeans, short sleeves and bangs are part of hijab..and I've seen this. worst is the tight nylon tops so I know what you mean when the girls don't know the rules.

[hope_n_fear]

...I'm not sure about this abdushakur, but if a brother was truly interested in marriage he can request to see the girl without hijab on.

Where did you get that? It doesn't seem correct.

[Ahmed]

if you are truly going to get married
ie youve travelled down with youre parents to see the girl
the prospective groom is allowed to view her

[jaylen]

if you are truly going to get married
ie youve travelled down with youre parents to see the girl
the prospective groom is allowed to view her

true, the sahaba did this as well. trust me I did my research on it..lol! only viewing if you're interested in marriage. no piggy men allowed..lol!

[Nafeesa]

firstly, was it a sister that asked u this, if so then she probs new to practicing n not used to wearing hijab her self or something, giv the girl the benefit of the doubt man. i personaly dnt think its a big deal with sisters ask what colours ur hair or whats ur hair like etc, but if i didnt even know the person then id be a bit miffed, but its understandable when sisters u know from study circles or events or something n uve know em for a while yet theyve not seen ur hair or wateva it wudnt bother me unless i was suspicious of em, its just what girls do, im a girly girl n do wonder after sometimes what the sister looks like under her hijab when ive known her for a while yet never seen her without it.

also most of the sisters i know are girly girls any way so its not like theyd be offended or miffed or wateva, its just what us girls do.

A related question: If a brother is interested in a sister for marriage, is it permissible for him to ask his mother/sister/aunt etc. to describe his prospective brides hair?

the opinion is that a man can see (if genuinly is interested in a sister for marriage) he can see her hair, basically he can see wateva the sister can uncover infront of her mehrams like father brother etc.

i cant remember who this was but i read somewhere that one of the sahabas infact i think it was a kaleef, ill try n find out inshallah, he actually lifted up a sisters jubbah up just a little to see her calf n she got angry with him! i think thats cute.

any ways heres some evidences

Seeing the Woman to Whom One Proposes Marriage
It is permissible for a Muslim man to see the woman to whom he intends to propose marriage before taking further steps so that he can enter into the marriage knowing what is ahead for him. Otherwise, if he has not seen her before marriage, he may not find her looks to his liking and may have regrets after he is married to her.

The eye is the messenger of the heart; when the eyes meet, the hearts and the souls of man and woman may meet as well. Muslim reported Abu Hurairah as saying that a man came to the Prophet (peace be on him) and told him that he had contracted to marry a woman of the Ansar. "Did you look at her?" the Prophet (peace be on him) asked. "No," he said, 'Then go and look at her,' said the Prophet (peace be on him), 'for there is something in the eyes of the Ansar,' meaning that some of them have a defect of their eyes

Al-Mughira ibn Shu'bah said, I asked for a woman in marriage and Allah's Messenger (peace be on him) asked me whether I had looked at her. When I replied that I had not, he said 'Then look at her, for it may produce love between you.' I went to her parents and informed them of the Prophet's advice. They seemed to disapprove of the idea. Their daughter heard the conversation from her room and said, 'If the Prophet (peace be on him) has told you to look at me, then look.' I looked at her, and subsequently I married her. (Reported by Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Ibn Hibban, and Darimi.)

The Prophet (peace be on him) did not specify either to Mughirah or to the other man how much of the woman they were permitted to see. Some scholars are of the opinion that looking is limited to seeing the face and hands. However, it is permissible for anyone to see the face and hands as long as no desire is involved; therefore, if asking for woman in marriage is an exemption, obviously the man making the proposal should be able to see much more of the woman than that. The Prophet (peace be on him) said, "When one of you asks for woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so." (Reported by Abu Daoud.)

Some scholars have gone to one extreme or another in relation to this permission, but the best course seems to be the middle one. One researcher considers it quite appropriate in our time that the man who is proposing be allowed to see the woman as she normally appears before her father, brother, and other muharramah. He says: In the context of the above hadith, he may even accompany her, together with her father or some other mahrem as chaperone, on her usual visits to relatives or to public places, while clad in full hijab. (Hijab denotes the proper Islamic dress. (Trans.)) In this way he will have the opportunity to get an insight into her reasoning, behavior, and personality. This is a part of the meaning of the hadith, "...to look at what will induce him to marry her." (Al-Bahee al-Khooly, Al-Mar'ah Bain al-bayn al-bait wal-Mujtamah'.)

If the man's intention of marriage is sincere, he is permitted to see the woman with or without her and her family's knowledge. Jarir ibn 'Abdullah said concerning his wife, "(Before marriage) I used to hide under a tree to see her."

From the hadith concerning al-Mughira we understand that the father of a girl cannot, out of deference to custom and tradition, prevent a suitor who is in earnest from seeing her, for customs and traditions must be governed by the Shari'ah. How is it possible that the Divine Law should subjected to the whims of human beings? On the other hand, however, neither the father, the suitor, or the fiancee can stretch this permission to such an extent that the young man and woman, under the pretext of betrothal or engagement, go to movie theaters, clubs, and shopping places together without being accompanied by a mahrem of hers, a practice which has become common today among Muslims who are fond of imitating Western civilization and its customs.

this fatwah is off islam qa n has opinions of the imams also.

Question :


I read the hadiths about the prophet peace be upon him allowing the man to see the woman before deciding whether to marry her or not. My questions is, what exactelly is the person allowed to see exactelly?
Is he allowed to see her hair (entire head) ?

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

Islam commands us to lower our gaze and forbids looking at non-mahram women. This is in order to purify people’s souls and protect their honour. There are, however, certain exceptions in which it is permissible to look at a non-mahram woman for reasons of necessity, one of which is in the case of proposing marriage, because it is the basis on which a very important decision affecting a person’s life will be taken. There are texts which indicate that it is permissible to look at one’s fiancée, as follows:

From Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at her to see that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, then let him do so.’ I proposed marriage to a young woman, and I used to hide where I could see her, until I saw that which encouraged me to go ahead and marry her, so I did so.’” According to another report he said, ‘a young woman of Bani Salamah. I used to hide from her, until I saw that which encouraged me to go ahead and marry her, so I did so.” (Saheeh Abi Dawood, no. 1832, 1834)

From Abu Hurayrah: “I was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansaar. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him, ‘Have you seen her?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Go and look at her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar.” (Reported by Muslim, no. 1424; and by al-Daaraqutni, 3/253 (34))

From al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah: “I proposed marriage to a woman, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Have you seen her?’ I said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.’” According to another report: “So he did that, and he married her and mentioned that they got along.” (Reported by al-Daaraqutni, 3/252 (31, 32); Ibn Maajah, 1/574)

From Sahl ibn Sa’d (may Allaah be pleased with him): “A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, I have come to give myself to you (in marriage).” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) looked at her closely, then he lowered his head. When the woman saw that he had not made a decision about her, she sat down. One of his Companions stood up and said, O Messenger of Allaah, if you do not want her, then marry her to me…’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 7/19; Muslim, 4/143; al-Nisaa’i, 6/113 bi Sharh al-Suyooti; al-Bayhaqi, 7/84)

The sayings of the scholars on the extent to which one may look at one’s fiancée

Al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “If he wants to marry a woman, he is not allowed to see her without a headcover. He may look at her face and hands when she is covered, with or without her permission. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘… and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent…’ [al-Noor 24:31]. He said: ‘The face and hands.’” (al-Haawi al-Kabeer, 9/34).

Imaam al-Nawawi said in Rawdat al-Taalibeen wa ‘Umdat al-Mufteen (7, 19-20): “When (a man) wants to marry (a woman), it is preferable (mustahabb) for him to look at her so that he will have no regrets. According to another view, it is not preferable but it is allowed. The first view is correct because of the ahaadeeth, and it is permitted to look repeatedly, with or without her permission. If it is not easy to look at her, he may send a woman to check her out and describe her to him. A woman may also look at a man if she wants to marry him, for she will like in him what he likes in her. What is permissible for him to look at is the face and hands, front and back. He should not look at anything else.”

Abu Haneefah permitted looking at the feet as well as the face and hands. (Bidaayah al-Mujtahid wa Nihayyat al-Muqtasid, 3/10)

“It is permissible to look at the face, hands and feet, and no more than that.” Ibn Rushd also quoted it as above.

Among the reports from the madhhab of Imaam Maalik:

He may look at the face and hands only.

He may look at the face, hands and forearms only.

A number of reports were narrated from Imaam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him), one of which says that he may look at the face and forearms.

The second says that he may look at what usually appears such as the neck, calves and so on.

This was quoted by Ibn Qudaamah in al-Mughni (7/454), Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah in Tahdheeb al-Sunan (3/25-26), and al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar in Fath al-Baari (11/78)… The reliable opinion in the books of the Hanbalis is the second opinion.

From the above, it is clear that the majority of scholars say that a man is allowed to look at his fiancée’s face and hands, because the face indicates beauty or ugliness, and the hands indicate the slimness or plumpness (literally, ‘fertility’) of the body.

Abu’l-Faraj al-Maqdisi said: “There is no dispute among the scholars that he is permitted to look at the face.. the focus of beauty and the place at which one looks.”

Ruling on touching one’s fiancée or being alone with her

Al-Zayla’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “It is not permissible for him to touch her face or hands – even if is sure that this will not provoke desire – because she is still haraam for him, and there is no need for him to do so.” In Durar al-Bihaar it says: “It is not permitted for the qaadi, the witnesses or the fiancé to touch her, even if they are sure that this will not provoke desire, because there is no need for that…” (Radd al-Muhtaar ‘ala’l-Durr al-Mukhtaar, 5/237)

Ibn Qudaamah said: “It is not permitted for him to be alone with her, because she is forbidden and Islam only allows him to look, thus khulwah (being alone with her) remains forbidden, and because there is no certainty that nothing forbidden will take place if he is alone with her, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘No man is alone with a woman, but the Shaytaan is the third one present.’ He should not look at her in a lustful or suspicious manner. Ahmad said, in a report narrated by Saalih, ‘He may look at the face, but not in a lustful manner.’ He may look repeatedly, and examine her beauty, because the aim cannot be achieved in any other way.”

The fiancée’s permission to look

A man is permitted to look at the woman to whom he wishes to propose marriage, even without her permission or knowledge. This is what is indicated by the saheeh ahaadeeth.

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said in Fath al-Baari (9/157): “The majority of scholars said: he is permitted to look at her if he wishes without her permission.”

The hadeeth scholar Shaykh Muhammad Naasir al-Deen al-Albaani said in al-Silsilat al-Saheehah (1/156), supporting this view: “Similar evidence is seen in the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in the hadeeth, ‘Even if she does not know.’ This is supported by the actions of the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them), in accordance with the Sunnah, such as Muhammad ibn Muslimah and Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah, both of whom hid so as to see of their fiancées that which would encourage them to go ahead and marry them…”

Note:
Shaykh al-Albaani also said (op.cit., p. 156):

“From Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him)” ‘The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to marry a woman, so he sent another woman to look at her and said, “Smell her mouth (front teeth) and look at the back of her ankles.”

(Reported by al-Haakim, 2/166, who said it is saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him. Also reported by al-Bayhaqi, 7/87. In Majma’ al-Zawaa’id (4/507) he said, ‘”Reported by Ahmad and al-Bazzaar, and the men of al-Bazzaar are thiqaat.”)

In Mughni al-Muhtaaj (2/128) it says: “What we understand from this report is that the one who is sent may describe to the one who sends her more than that which he himself may see, so this sending achieves more than just looking.”

And Allaah knows best.