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Thread: marriages with cousins permissable in islam?

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    Default marriages with cousins permissable in islam?

    Hypothetically speaking...is getting married to your first cousin allowed in Islam? Is there anything in the Quran that tells us we can/cant marry our cousins?
    As i was saying hypothetically speaking your father wants you to marry your first cousin, however you dont want to because you have spent your life being told that he is your brother and now they are making you look at him from a different perspective...
    You believe you have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with...religious, understanding etc however you arent sure if anyone will agree..what do you do?
    Then again...there are so many problems that arise with marrying your cousin e.g. your children having many diseases, family problems.
    Hypothetically speaking if anyone replying to this post was in this scenario what would you do? Bearing in mind that there are many other issues opposing the marriage to your cousin and equally issues opposing your marriage with someone of your choice.


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    Senior Member Noor ul Islam's Avatar
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    AssalaamuAlaikum
    Cousin marriages are allowed in Islam. Wassalaam
    Noor of Islam


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    Senior Member Saalik's Avatar
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    highly permissible...


    umm-ul-Momineen zaynub bint jahash radhiyala anha was prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam)'s first cousin.
    so no problem in it.
    http://www.darsequran.com
    http://www.al-inaam.com/tasawwuf/tasawwuf.htm
    http://tasawwuf.org
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    know that cousins are not our blood-relation brother or sister, they are not our mahram so there are same rules of pardah applied with them as with other non-mahram.
    since we dont apply pardah with them thats why it seems that they our brother and sister, Islam has very strict rules of preventing the lineage of a person and that was the main reason why prophet Muhammad sallalhu alaihi wa sallim was being married to zaynaub bint jahash r.a by the hukm and raza of Almighty Allah.

    refer tafseer of surah Ahzaab, insha'Allah.
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    Quote Originally Posted by missy kizzie View Post
    Hypothetically speaking...is getting married to your first cousin allowed in Islam? Is there anything in the Quran that tells us we can/cant marry our cousins?
    As i was saying hypothetically speaking your father wants you to marry your first cousin, however you dont want to because you have spent your life being told that he is your brother and now they are making you look at him from a different perspective...
    You believe you have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with...religious, understanding etc however you arent sure if anyone will agree..what do you do?
    Then again...there are so many problems that arise with marrying your cousin e.g. your children having many diseases, family problems.
    Hypothetically speaking if anyone replying to this post was in this scenario what would you do? Bearing in mind that there are many other issues opposing the marriage to your cousin and equally issues opposing your marriage with someone of your choice.
    salam
    i think this is an indopakistani custom, hence the coinage "cousin-brother/sister" which only indopakistanis use!

    the hindus where i come from also regard cousins as brothers or sisters and there is no question of marriage between them.
    it is seen as a "muslim" thing, even though some hindus in the south of india do marry cousins, i believe.

    the muslims should discard this custom, because if cousins are to marry, then they shouldn't be brought up as brothers and sisters!
    hijab should be observed and a distance must be kept.

    wallahu a'lam wassalam


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    Senior Member MohammadMufti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by missy kizzie View Post
    Hypothetically speaking...is getting married to your first cousin allowed in Islam? Is there anything in the Quran that tells us we can/cant marry our cousins?
    As i was saying hypothetically speaking your father wants you to marry your first cousin, however you dont want to because you have spent your life being told that he is your brother and now they are making you look at him from a different perspective...
    You believe you have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with...religious, understanding etc however you arent sure if anyone will agree..what do you do?
    Then again...there are so many problems that arise with marrying your cousin e.g. your children having many diseases, family problems.
    Hypothetically speaking if anyone replying to this post was in this scenario what would you do? Bearing in mind that there are many other issues opposing the marriage to your cousin and equally issues opposing your marriage with someone of your choice.
    Cousin marraige does not make your children have diseases, as cousin-marraige progresses (and is done multiple times) or such close marriages, that increases the chance for genetic diseases. But the first time does not 'make' them happen. And our classical scholars from whom I've read suggest that it is better to marry more distantly (though not forbidden to marry cousins).

    But just as cousin-marraige is not prohibited, forced marraige is not permitted, and you both need to work this out with one another inshaAllah:


    Praise be to Allaah.

    It is not permissible for a woman to be made to marry someone she does not want. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married without being consulted, and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given?” He said, “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455).

    ‘Aa’ishah reported that a girl came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” ‘Aa’ishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) comes. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217).

    So, both the guardian and the woman must agree to the marriage. With regard to your request for our advice regarding the problem mentioned in the question, so long as this marriage has taken place, it is better for the woman to try to keep it going as much as she can, and to try to accept this husband. She should seek reward through pleasing her parents and also try to reform her husband through a gentle approach and praying for guidance for him. And Allaah is the Source of Strength.

    Sheikh Salih al Munajjid


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    Senior Member AbulAsad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sahih-baba View Post
    salam
    i think this is an indopakistani custom, hence the coinage "cousin-brother/sister" which only indopakistanis use!

    the hindus where i come from also regard cousins as brothers or sisters and there is no question of marriage between them.
    it is seen as a "muslim" thing, even though some hindus in the south of india do marry cousins, i believe.

    the muslims should discard this custom, because if cousins are to marry, then they shouldn't be brought up as brothers and sisters!
    hijab should be observed and a distance must be kept.

    wallahu a'lam wassalam
    Correct! Those muslims who lived as a minority among the hindu majority took many cultural and social belief from them, also by my experience as frm india i saw most of the muslim family's children as a cousin grow up as a brothers and sisters though not islamicaly allowed but because of social and cultural background of hinduism which effected the muslim community
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    Assalamu alaikum wr wb

    Just because it's permissible doesn't mean you have to be forced into it against your will if this is something that you do not want to do.

    Allahu Alim

    In the end it should be your decision as you're going to be spending the rest of your life with this person, sharing a house, a room and a bed. If you've grown up with this person constantly told this is your brother now and you saw him in the "light" that he was your brother.

    Now you're expected to see him as your cousin, your husband to be yet you can't. Because you're constantly told he's your brother, and despite you two are n't mahram of each other you were brought up that way as if you were.
    Now I guess your parents and his parents want to make it legal.

    Sis it should be your decision alone regarding this. I have seen in some where it has worked out and some where it hasn't worked out. The ones in where it hasn't worked out the families end up blaming the women for it rather than know that it just didn't work out and no one's bad just that it didn't work out between them.

    In the end sis you should decide on what you want to do. Make istikhara.
    Allahu Alim


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    Salaam,

    My parents are 1st cousins, same with my aunt's and uncle's spouses.


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    well me and my cousin were really close as children as we lived in the same house and we basically grew up together, until the age of about 9 when they moved out and so did we and we dont see each other very often apart from family gatherings where it is a little awkward because its playing around in everyone's mind.
    What i meant by "diseases" were if we have the same blood group, or genetic pool it will be possible that our children will have some sort of genetic disease as does his sister because his parents are first cousins. And i really dont want that to happen...yah we could get tested and stuff.
    Anywayz thanks for your replies!


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