Why are women not allowed to go to funerals?

[Gajibur]

Assalamu alaykum

Over the years i have gone to quite a few funerals. Over that time i learnt that women weren't allowed to go to funerals. I remember once while on the way to a funeral some brothers telling me that the reason women weren't allowed to go to the graveyard was because they (usually)cry, and this causes distress to the soul of the deceased. So today i went to an "ask imam" website to check this out. The answer i found can be accessed at this link:

http://www.askimam.org/fatwa/fatwa.p...aa8950b57d4cd0

If you don't want to go to the link then i have pasted the answer below:



ANSWER

Imam Bukhari has recorded a Hadith of Sayyidatuna Umm Atiyya (Radhiallaahu Anha) that she said, 'We were prohibited from following the Janaaza, i.e. until the graveyard.' (Bukhari Hadith No.1278; See Fathul Baari vol.3 pg.187) Imam Tirmidhi (RA) has recorded a Hadith of Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (Radhiallaahu Anhu) that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) has mentioned, 'May Allah Ta'ala curse women who visits the graves.' Imaam Tirmidhi has graded this Hadith as Sahih - authentic (Sunan Tirmidhi vol.1 pg.203) A similar narration is recorded by Imaam Abu Dawud on the authority of Sayyiduna Abdullah ibn Abbaas (Radhiallaahu Anhu). However, many of the scholars are of the opinion that the above law has been obliterated by the following narration recorded by Imaam Muslim in his Sahih on the authority of Sayyiduna Abdullah ibn Mas'ood (Radhiallaahu Anhu) that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) mentioned, 'I had prevented you from visiting the grave, (as of now) you all should visit it for it reminds one of the Aakhirat.' (Sahih Muslim) Based on this, the previous law mentioned above was abrogated. Hence, the permissibility of visiting the graveyard includes males and females. However, the reason for prohibiting females from visiting graves is due to our corrupted environment wherein women who do not adhere to the laws of Hijaab and hence strange men are attracted towards them. Therefore, it is not permissible for young females to visit the graveyard. However, if the laws of the Shariah (Hijaab, intermingling, crying, etc.) are not violated then the prohibition may be set aside. Since generally the women visiting the graves are not free from the above aspects, they should refrain from doing so. If a female visits the grave to remember death and soften without crying . there is nothing wrong if they are old. It is Makrooh if they are young (Shaami vol. 1 p. 665 - Maajidiyya) See Umdatul Qaari vol.8 pg.69 and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best Moulana Muhammad ibn Moulana Haroon Abbassommar FACULTY OF SPECIALTY IN HADITH CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai

[Gajibur]

The part in Bold is a bit unclear. Is it saying all women, young and old, can go to the graves as long as they observe the laws of hijab. Or is it saying only old women who observe hijab can go to funerals and young women shouldn't go at all, even if they observe proper hijab. Can any knowledgable brother or sister clarify this for me, jazakAllah khair

[Nahla Naji]

Assalamu alaikum!

I asked our imam about this issue and said that indeed women are not to attend FUNERALS, because their weakness. In the time of the Porphet (sallaAllahu alaihi wa sallam) at funerals women used to cry, to yell, they would tear their clothes, pulling thei hair... and the Prophet prohibited women to attend funerals... he said that the woman who does this kind of mourning and does not repent untill the time of her death she would not smell teh fragrance of Paradise... Also, teh person deceased who is mourned like this is not allowed to enter Paradise...
But women are allowed to visit the graves, without manifesting their sorrow in this way...
In cases of reverts, in case a christian relative of us dies, we can help our family and support them, but without lighting candles and praying, and we must not follow the funeral procession to the grave...
And Allah knows best...

[Gajibur]

Thanks for the reply sister, What your imam said really makes sense. I heard that the prophet(s.a.w) forbade slapping your cheeks and tearing your clothes when mourning. Since women sometimes get carried away with emosion, this could possibly occur (the women might slap their cheeks or hit themselves out of anger and sadness). So it kind of makes sense to stop them from going to funerals because they might break the laws of sharia by slapping themselves or tearing their clothes etc. However, what about a women who can control her emosions, can she go to the funeral?.

[Nahla Naji]

Assalamu alaikum!

The rule was cast over all women, independent of the fact that they can or can not control their emotions... and imagine this scene...
A very strong woman, who generally is not carried away by feelings... her child dies, she attends the funeral... she sees how they lower the body into the grave... who can guarantee you that she won't cry... they are hard events that can make you change your spirit...
We do not normally hit our faces and tear our clothes in distress, do we? But in hard moments, our reason might be darken...
And Allah knows best...

[Gajibur]

Wa alaykum salam sister Nahla Naji

But men can also come over with emosion, although generally we can control such emosions more than women.

[ftannouss]

I woulld like to get a better understanding of why you dont see women attend muslim funerals. I saw a report today about the 3 men killed in Birmingham during the riots and was amazed to see thousands of men and no women. What does it say in the Quran about this? As a woman I went to my own Fathers funeral and if I was told no, I think it would be a very disrespectful thing. Everyone should grieve for the dead and this includes saying goodbye to a loved one properly as a whole family. It is not good for anyone to be shouting or screaming in grief, but there is nothing wrong with showing emotion, some tears, whether it be from a woman or man. I would like somebody else's perspective on this. I was born into a Catholic family, but i do not practice my religion but firmlu believe in God, the same God as muslims. My husband is sunni muslim. Thanks

[shaan5]

I woulld like to get a better understanding of why you dont see women attend muslim funerals. I saw a report today about the 3 men killed in Birmingham during the riots and was amazed to see thousands of men and no women. What does it say in the Quran about this? As a woman I went to my own Fathers funeral and if I was told no, I think it would be a very disrespectful thing. Everyone should grieve for the dead and this includes saying goodbye to a loved one properly as a whole family. It is not good for anyone to be shouting or screaming in grief, but there is nothing wrong with showing emotion, some tears, whether it be from a woman or man. I would like somebody else's perspective on this. I was born into a Catholic family, but i do not practice my religion but firmlu believe in God, the same God as muslims. My husband is sunni muslim. Thanks

Women and men are usualy segregated in Islam for very definite reasons. So the same applies to funerals. Either women go alone and bury the dead or men. I feel men are more fit for the job. Women can come say last respects before or after. I think u should rather read something about the role of wonen in islam in general to get a better understanding. Instead of focusing on this specific case.

[ftannouss]

I have many articles and general islamic books on various different subjects relating to women, regarding men and women being segregated, as long as women are covered in the way Islam teaches, what is the problem? Also why do you say men are fit for the job, in what way? It is not a weakness to cry and show emotion. I am not talking about hysterics here. Why should men be the focus of this very important event for any family? Thanks

[mercyofAllah]

Bismillah
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At the beginning of Islam, visiting graves was not allowed for men and women alike, because the Muslims were new in Islam and came from a background where grave-worship and attachment to the dead were widespread. So they were forbidden to visit graves as a preventative measure, to avoid evil and prevent shirk. But once Islam was well-established and they understood Islam, Allaah prescribed visiting the graves because of the lessons and reminders of death and the Hereafter involved in that, and so that they could make du’aa’ for the deceased and pray for mercy for them. Then Allaah forbade woman to do that – according to the most correct of the two scholarly opinions – because they may present a temptation to men and even to themselves, and because they have little patience and they get too upset. So by His mercy and kindness towards them, Allaah forbade them to visit graves. This is also a form of kindness towards the men, because if they were all to gather at the grave, this might cause fitnah. So by His mercy, Allaah forbade women to visit graves.
http://www.*************/en/ref/8198/funeral%20women
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Why are women not allowed to follow the funeral procession

Is it due to reasons of purity or because women are too emotional?

Women are prevented from joining the funeral procession due to the fear of Fitnah.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
http://www.islam.tc/cgi-bin/askimam/...4572&act=print
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Muslims are supposed to be of attitude, "we hear and we obey" and believing in Allah SWT to be the Most Wise, the Allah knowing, the Kind and Merciful and the Prophet SAW being the man of Allah SWT, we believe that there should be more wisdom in commands and prohibitions. Allahu alam.