are you blind? are you not healthy? dont you have a place to live ?
people in africa have no proper place to live in, no food to eat, no healthy life. I heard an african tribe accepted islam after learning, and they are very poor people, and they say Islam is the biggest blessing for them.
You just give up easily, ok here you are, go and kill yourself, you will have an eternal punishment in hereafter life. Why do you not stick to Islam better? You should take a bayah from a tariqah. If you do not make enough dhikr (remembrance of Allah) then you will have trouble all the time.
I just recommend you to be grateful with Allah taala, never lose your hope, Allah taala sends only %1 of his mercy in this world, rest of his mercy is for muslims in akhirah, keep your iman (belief) steadfast, tjat is the mere solution

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