I do not really know how to begin,coz things have become so entangled in my mind.
Well,born in a 'relatively' religious family,i was taught love for Islam and of Ulema.I thought that it was quite clear for us to follow the religion.Different sects did exist but did not differ much.My own family had mixture of wahabi,Deobandi and Brailwis.
As long as i was with 'ordinary people' things were fine,trouble started when i started to read the Islamic literature and meeting the religious scholars.
The very first people who impressed me were Wahabis/Salafis.It made a perfect sense that i was supposed to follow what Allah said and what his Rasool saw and whatever they said was written clearly in Quran and 6 Saheeh books of Hadeeth that were unanimously agreed upon by all Muslims.
But i started to get bit disappointed when i saw scholars that i respected like Imam Abu Haneefa being ridiculed by some.More disappointment came by seeing that there was little tolerance for other sects AND above all little understanding of contemporary challenges facing the Ummah.I thoe tought being non-muqallids they were going to be more open and approachable.But they had little room for disagreement.
Last but not the least,the very same reason for which attracted me to them became a disagreement also.Just as i thought that no one Imam can be perfect,similarly i think no one Muhaddith can be 'perfect' as well.Can't Bukhari and Muslim make a mistake in assessment of some of Ahadeeth out of thousands?
I was then impressed by Sufis(Brailwis).I found a few people who were pious and did not indulge much in debates.They took me to their Sheikh.I began the Zikr that i was taught.This helped me a lot.I found that this gave me strength to bring shariah in my life and i felt happy.But then doubts started when my fellow brothers in sulook discourged me to read Quran with translation or commentry.I was told that this may make me astray.This made no sense,that they would neither teach nor let be taught.More doubts arose when i found that mureeds looked much more to Sheikh than to Allah.They always were waiting for some divine guidance will be given to them by Sheikh all of a sudden and they will attain new heights in spirtuality.Bottom line is that emphasis was on more on Sheikh than anything else.And then last but not the least again there was little tolerance for others.Somehow all wahabis were evil,they were disrespectful to Prophet saw.Altough i still have great respect for Sheikh,i did not feel comfortable with all this.
I was then impressed a lot by Maudoodi,his writings appeared to be a balanced view of traditional Islam and dealing with modern life.
However i was told by fellow Muslims that Moudoodi was a Fitnah.Traditional Hanafis are unhappy coz they find him someone creating a new Jama'at.Brailwis(sufis) think of him a Wahabi and Wahabis think of him a collabrater of shias and Sufis.
Now i feel confused and lonely.
Contemporary Islam(of all sects,sufis,wahabis etc.) seems to come in packages,if u want to take it,take the whole package otherwise they take u as a 'deviant' person.
I sometimes hearing the argument from my own fellow Muslims feel that probably they will consider me worse than Kafirs!!!!!
Go to a religious forum and one will find that the worst enemy os Islam is one of the other sects in Islam.
Plz tell me:
DO we worship the same Allah?
Do we follow the same Prophet saw?