Please advise

[in fear]

Sallaams brothers and sisters,

I have been feeling extremely angry for the past few days, I'm scared i'm just going to end up doing something wrong or say something I may regret later, but I cant seem to calm myself. please please advise.

in desparate need of duaas too.

Was Sallaam.

[Julaybib]

Salaam.

Things to do when angry

Hakim al-Umma Hadhrat Mawlana Ashraf ‘Ali Thanawi (may Allah have mercy on him) advised the following to a spiritual aspirant for facilitating control over actions done in anger,

“1. To remove one’s self from that site

2. Recite اعوذبالله من شيطان الرجيم

3. Drink water

4. Immediately get involved in some work

5. Forgive the perpetrator reminding yourself of Allah’ power (Qadir), your own sins, fear of punishment and desirability of forgiving.”

Tarbiyet us Salik, volume 1, page 346

http://www.ashrafiya.com/

[not known]

read lots of durood and " auzu-billahi-minash-shaitan-nirrajim"


.

[Julaybib]

Salaam.

Displaying Anger: Needs Treatment

Sayyidi wa sanadi Hazrat Mufti Mohammad Taqi Usmani sahib db said;

It is grossly inappropriate to display anger.

Anger is one of the first things to be treated in Tasawwuf and tariqat.

It destroys the batin (spirituality) of an individual completely.

Therefore, anyone who starts on path of islah (self reformation) and approaches a Sheikh for this, the first instructions are to cure anger. That is, he is able to control the display of anger. [1]

“For this, initially he is instructed not to display anger at all.

That is, neither displaying anger at occasion where it is appropriate nor at times where it is inappropriate. Even, not displaying it when he has the right to do so. This attitude has to continue till he becomes emotionally balanced. (Sheikh will inform when this happens.)

In mean time if by chance he slips and displays anger using inappropriate words etc., he has to ask forgiveness explicitly from the one he became angry at. That is, to say, ‘brother, I said such and such. I made a mistake. Forgive me.’ [2]

[1] Islahi majalis, volume 6, page 65

[2] Islahi majalis, volume 6, page 70

http://www.ashrafiya.com/

[snassirnia]

Assalam Alaikum wa rahmat Allah

Go to nature my brother. Call Allah's names Ya Allah YA salam, subhan Allah, lots of Astaghfir Allah, Alhamdulillah. If you are near ocean take a few minutes of cold sweam. Negetive thinking comes from sheitan, kik sheitan by thinking positive. You have Allah, You have quran, What else do you need don't be ungrateful. thank Allah. read quran day and night. Ask Allah to take the negativity out of your mind, tongue and heart. May Allah SWT fill your heart with his love and light
Wassalam

[Julaybib]

Salaam.

My personal advice would be not to keep things bottled up. If you find you have no one with whom you can discuss your problems with, or if you are afraid that if you discuss your problems with someone they may actually betray your trust and tell others.

Then best thing to do, would be to write down your thoughts and feelings. Also write down both the pros and the cons, of taking a certain action.

For example if you lose your temper you may damage your relationship with someone, and no amount of apologies will be able to repair the damage.

Sure the display of anger may make one feel better momentarily, but the longterm consequences can be severe. Many Marriages and other relationships have been permanently destroyed due to a few words of Anger.

Also imagine if someone else came to you seeking advice in the problems you are facing, what advice would you give them, and write that down. Most importantly make Dua but not just Dua but actually speak to Allah , relating all your problems to him directly, and seek his mercy, help and guidance.

Because frankly you will find that most people are wrapped up in their own lives, to pay any attention to the distress of anyone else. So speak to allah sincerely in your Duas, and be steadfast upon it Insha'Allah.

May Allah bless you abundantly with the blessed gifts of Sabr and Shukr and instill Peace and tranquility in your heart and soften the hearts of others towards you ameen.

I will Insha'Allah make a dua for you Insha'allah ...(a non-cyber one that is)


Be a Lake

Qisas.com

The old Master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. “How does it taste?” the Master asked. “Awful,” spat the apprentice. The Master chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake.

The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake, the old man said, “Now drink from the lake.” As the water dripped down the young man’s chin, the Master asked, “How does it taste?” “Good!” remarked the apprentice. “Do you taste the salt?” asked the Master. “No,” said the young man.

The Master sat beside this troubled young man, took his hands, and said, “The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the ‘pain’ depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things….. Stop being a glass. Become a lake!”

[in fear]

[QUOTE=Julaybib;284029]Salaam.

My personal advice would be not to keep things bottled up. If you find you have no one with whom you can discuss your problems with, or if you are afraid that if you discuss your problems with someone they may actually betray your trust and tell others.

Then best thing to do, would be to write down your thoughts and feelings. Also write down both the pros and the cons, of taking a certain action.

For example if you lose your temper you may damage your relationship with someone, and no amount of apologies will be able to repair the damage.

Sure the display of anger may make one feel better momentarily, but the longterm consequences can be severe. Many Marriages and other relationships have been permanently destroyed due to a few words of Anger.

Also imagine if someone else came to you seeking advice in the problems you are facing, what advice would you give them, and write that down. Most importantly make Dua but not just Dua but actually speak to Allah , relating all your problems to him directly, and seek his mercy, help and guidance.

Because frankly you will find that most people are wrapped up in their own lives, to pay any attention to the distress of anyone else. So speak to allah sincerely in your Duas, and be steadfast upon it Insha'Allah.

Thank you for advise.

Brother in the past I used to write my feelings down but unfortunately for me my husband found the book and instead of understanding me he got angry at me, so out of fear I dont anymore. I cant seem to control certain thoughts and wind myself up over them.

You are absolutely right I dont have and want to turn to anyone, I do speak to Allah SWT each time I'm down and it does make me feel better, but as soon as I get home from work I am angry and frustrated. I actually dread going home. I dont want to feel this way.

[True Life]

There should be something interesting for you:
http://annoor.wordpress.com/?s=anger

[Julaybib]

Salaams.

You can keep online blog diary and it can be kept private I am told....also if that is not viable then to keep a book with you and write down uplifting,quotations of the pious,hadith, stuff on positive thinking etc. And when you are feeling down read through it as a reminder.

Besides that I think the main challenge here is to create a happy home atmosphere. they say the test of kindness is being kind to others even when they are not to you. I know it is very difficult especially if a person feels unloved and their efforts unappreciated and when others respond abnoxiously to ones kind behaviour but one must bare in mind that Allah is rewarding me for my Ikhlaaq.

I heard of a couple who lived in the same house did not speak to each other for five years, and all communication was done via the children.But eventually things improved and they are very happy.

In the face of kindness eventually even the Hearts of Mighty tyrants are softened by Allah, one only needs to look at the Seerah of our Prophet .

Like I said it takes a great degree of determination and steadfastness, it is very easy to advise but... it is very difficult to endure when one is undergoing such difficulties.

I hope this is helpful Insha'Allah.