ANSWERED: Dawah to the sister! (Again)

[Hard2Hit]

Assalamu Alaikum

Have asked this question b4 by expressing my own view about it but didn't really find a satisfying answer. Mossy once kept me waiting at a board other than islamica but no answer from him too, till now


-- My view



I believe that the reason we 'religious' muslims need to mix while living in non-muslims societies is the lack of a support system. There aren't many muslims around and hence to save our not so religious sisters from fitna, religious brothers can hook-up with them keeping deen in mind. Same is true for sisters, like if at uni there is some dude who is at the risk of being annihilated by the satanic civilization then obviously the 'religious' sister can be a litle friendly with him with dawah/deen as "the" neeyah behind all this.

But to be able to do it without one (religious one) getting corrupted instead, one should make sure that his/her connection with ulema and masjid is even more stronger than the 'regular' religious class (Can not emphasize on this bit more).



What i dont like is that when ppl try to sell it to us that this area of islaam is getting redefined to its original self among practicing Muslims living in non-muslim lands. I mean this can not be applied as is to Muslim countries where "we" the "ummah" does have a support system. Sisters have "many" practicing sisters around them to provide this support. Same is true for brothers, and there is no need whatsoever for a brother chit chatting with sisters which would prolly be for 'getting' some err support (enjoyment) rather than providing support for deen.



Of course nothing is simply black and white (both in muslim and non muslim countries) as even in desiland there is a class who i call the untouchables. Untouchables in a sense that it "seems" there is no dawah facility available to them as they just have cut themselves off of any such thing. Hence i often think of ways to 'touch' them somehow. Even if its some sister, even if its through the internet.

It might not be true for everyone but thats just my theory in short.



comments?

[Saleel]

I have been asked to answer this question as best I can. Before I begin, it must be remembered that a non-scholar such as myself has fallibility and you'll find many, including myself and many top respected scholars hesitant when issuing a fatwa. The potential to give an incorrect verdict is dangerous. I ask the respected ulema on the forum to read over what I have said and if there is any error, please hasten to clear it up .



Firstly, as you say, as Muslims today we are in turmoil. We are in a state where we find it difficult to perform our daily faraaid amaal, and for many of us, almost impossible to perform nawafil deeds. The Sahaaba (ra) used to act as examples for each other, their faith used to illuminate their hearts. Their devotion to Salaah was strong, and they would not allow anything to come between them and their Salaah. The famous story of Hadhrat Abu Talha (RA) comes to mind. He was once praying his Salaat in his garden when a small bird became entrapped in some dense follage before him, and was not able to escape. For a short moment, Hadhrat Abu Talha (RA) became distracted, and followed the bird with his eyes while he was in Salaat. Due to this, he forgot the number of rakats he had prayed, and once he realised this, he was distraught, his sorrow had no bounds. He reported to RasulAllah saw the event, and told RasulAllah saw that the garden had been a source of diversion in my Salaat, therefore I give it away in the cause of Allah swt. Do with it as you wish.. Subhanallah! A similar event happened with an Ansaar. While praying his Salaat in his garden, his eyes befell upon juicy ripe fruit from the bushes in his garden. He was struken with sorrow once he realised it had been a source of distracting him from his Salaat, that he told Hadhrat Usman (RA) to sell the garden. The garden was sold for fifty thousand dirhams. Subhanallah!

How weak we are brother in comparison to the illustrious Companions (RA) of RasulAllah saw. We Muslims today have changed our priorities of Deen to gaining material benefits of a temporary life, and have lost our forsight to what is to come. Many many days go by and we haven't performed a Salaat with khushoo, yet the Sahaabi (RA) worried about every single one of their Salaats.

Insha'allah we need to foremost work on ourselves, and then bring the true deen of Allah swt into the hearts and minds of our families, our localities, our halaqa, our country, our continent, and in fact, with Allah swt's permission, create fikr (concern) inside ourselves about how we can propagate the deen of Allah swt into the hearts of each and every individual on the face of the planet from now until Qiyaamah. This is a noble work, the work of the Ambiya (as), which we must continue.

But this work of dawat needs to be done with hiqmah (wisdom) and within the boundries of what Allah swt has made halaal and haraam. Insha'allah if we take a look at some of the opinions of the pious ulema today we will see the vast errors which can come into play when giving dawat to the opposite gender.

We must remember that those brothers who are conveying the message of Islam to sisters and know themselves to be weak in faith, and fear that he may fall into the traps of the Shaytaan, i.e. becoming trapped in the trickery of the Shayateen and and being distracted from giving dawat, should avoid it. The opinion of Mufti Ebrahim Desai is:

According to the Shari'ah, it is Haraam (prohibited) to have any contact with strange (non-Mahram) women, even though it may be for Da'awah purposes.

MUFTI EBRAHIM DESAI.

It is narrated from Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) that a man and woman do not seclude themselves except Shaytaan interferes with them, i.e. by causing them to do Haraam. So, even though you have noble intention it is possible that Shaytaan can put evil thoughts in your heart. If anyone sends you a chat message, you should reply and say it is not permissible for me to chat with you or you should simply ignore it.

MUFTI EBRAHIM DESAI.

Shaytaan is our enemy. He decorates his ideas in different ways and fashions, some times in Islamic avenues too.

Therefore we suggest you abstain from any contact with any ghair mahram, as that is prohibited in Shariah.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

MUFTI EBRAHIM DESAI.

Your intention of chatting with males to correct them is noble. However, we advise you request a male member of your family to do that. The possibility of Shaytaan interfering with you in your correspondence with males cannot be ruled out as Shaytaan is our open enemy.

MUFTI EBRAHIM DESAI.

It is Haraam for any female to unnecessarily converse with males other than her Mahrams. Similarly, using modern technology, via internet, etc. to communicate with Mahrams of the opposite gender is also prohibited.

MUFTI EBRAHIM DESAI.

Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari says:

“And stay quietly in your houses, and make not a dazzling display, like that of the former times of ignorance”. (al-Ahzab, 33).

Due to the above verse and other similar texts of the Qur’an and Sunna, it is generally advised that women should not come out of their homes unnecessarily. However, if there is a need, then there is nothing wrong in emerging out of the home, provided all the rules of Hijab are fully observed.

The wisdom behind this is that, Islam totally forbids fornication and even those things that may lead one towards it. The Qur’an prohibits us from even getting close to fornication, thus Islam disapproves of unnecessary intermingling of the sexes. Then, there is also the reason of keeping women safe from corrupt and evil people who may harm or abuse her in any way.

Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari
Darul Iftaa, Leicester, UK

Shaykh Gibril Haddad was asked about the proof in the Hanafi school about speaking without need to a member of the opposite gender:

The textual basis is the Prophetic hadith on the zina of the limbs narrated from Ibn Mas`ud by Imam Ahmad in his Musnad with a strong chain: "The two eyes commit zina, the two hands commit zina, the two feet commit zina, and the genitals commit zina." Another wording with a passable chain in the Musnad includes the tongue and specifies in the end: "Then the genitals actualize it or belly it." There is no difference, as far as I know, in the offensiveness of unnecessary mixed conversation between young people among the Schools.

Hajj Gibril

One needs to remember that these rulings have not been made to make life harsh and difficult upon the individual, but rather so the laws of Allah swt are not broken and we do not attain His wrath. It is very easy to say, "I will be different and will only let this be a platonic relationship" but the facts are clear to us today. We live in a society where fitnah and temptation is rife. Ulema, with the knowledge of the Quran and Bukhari have fallen prey to this evil, yet today we as muqallids believe we can dig our own hole, guard ourselves from Shaytaan, and not fall prey to an incredibly destructive evil? Yet at the same time, we accept we are not even a worthy of the dust beneath the shoes of RasulAllah saw and his Companions (RA)? The prohibition against the intermingling of the genders was something the Sahaaba (RA) followed too. At a time when we find it difficult to wake up for our Fajr Salaah can we honestly convince ourselves that we can guard off all attacks from our sworn enemy?

Allah swt has created insaan with innate desires to feel attracted to the opposite gender, and this is natural. Verily the woman is one of the most tempting fitnah Allah swt has created for man. I'm sure we have all felt it at some point, where perhaps we have more than just platonic feelings for someone of the opposite gender. Sometimes our niyyah (intention) of giving dawah is questionable. When we are alone with the opposite gender, as we all know, the third is always Shaytaan. Why allow him that privelage to spread his evil? Why can we not prove Iblis wrong when he claimed to Allah swt "You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You)." [7:17]? Are we really that weak? Are we really going to open the doors for Shaytaan to attack us?

Insha'allah everyone picture this scene: a new sister (or brother) comes to campus and Masha'allah you could see her wanting to learn more of her deen. Your heart is inclined to speak to her, perhaps under the banner of wanting to "give dawah", but whatever your intention, Allahu Alam. Imagine before you could speak to her, a different brother approached her, with the intention to give her dawah. What would your heart feel? Imagine a few days later you saw the two in the library, the sister now wearing the head-scarf, perhaps smiling and laughing with the brother. What would your heart feel? If you felt even an ounce of jealousy, then you must question your intentions. For if your intentions were solely to call her to the deen of Allah swt, then you should be happy that at the very least the brother has been a means of helping her to dorn the hijaab, through the will of Allah swt. Like this, we can stop and evaluate ourselves and Insha'allah come to a conclusion of our intentions.

Unfortunately our hearts have become so weak and cold it can be incredibly difficult to accept what the pious ulema have said. If we find our hearts disagreeing with the laws of the Shariah, or our minds trying to create excuses, then Insha'allah this should ring alarm bells. Our foremost duty is jihad against ourselves, our naffs. If this is perhaps showing unconcealed ditches, we must try our best to fill the gaps so we do not accidentally fall in.

Dawah is not only about verbal communication, but also of how we conduct ourselves as Muslims. A story I once heard. There was a Jamaat leaving an aiport to go in the path of Allah swt, and just as the time for boarding was about to close, one of the Jaamatis asked the Ameer of the Jamaat if he could go to the toilet. The Ameer thought it would be better to go at the airport rather than the plane so as to not distress the other passengers on the plane if they had to wait to enter the toilet. So the Ameer gave permission and the Jamaati hurried off to the bathroom. He went in with a plastic bottle, filled the bottle with water from the tap, went to the cubicle to do his business, and then he came out with an empty bottle of water. A non-muslim by-stander witnessed all and was very confused. He asked the Jamaati, "why do you have to drink water inside a toilet cubicle?" The Jamaati replied, with nice words, and explained that he did not drink the water, but rather used it for Istinjaa, as the beloved Rasool of Allah swt had prescribed, and mentioned why he went to the toilet at the airport rather than on the plane, even though he might miss his flight. The non-muslim was so amazed by this, that a simple religion goes into the details of how to clean yourselves after you go to the toilet, and the wisdom behind using the airport toilet even though he may miss his flight, that Allah swt opened his heart and he became Muslim on the spot. Subhanallah!

Now brother, I do not say that we go to members of the opposite gender and discuss with them the issue of Istinjaa! But rather, how our character and morals can be the best caller to Islam. Showing modesty, lowering your gaze when the sister walks by, giving her the respect that Allah swt has rightfully given her the order to have can in itself be a source of guidance.

Another example of good character. Once in Jamaat, two Jamaatis were sitting on the floor eating meat curry from one plate. There was one piece of meat left, and neither of the two were eating it. One of the Jamaatis would pick the piece of meat up and place it on the other side of the plate, so the other could eat it. In-turn, the other would do the same. But they both remained quiet. A by-stander, a non-muslim, was watching this funny antic, observing this piece of meat going to and fro, thinking how funny these people are. Finally, one of the Jaamatis, picked up the piece of meat, split it in half, and each had half the piece of meat. The non-muslim was so amazed by this level of concern for the other that he accpeted Islam. Subhanallah. And this was a means of guidance without him even being given a word of dawat. Subhanallah.

To finish, I'd like to say that Allah swt has granted Muslims with the most powerful weapon of all: dua. With Allah swt's permission, us making dua for the opposite gender to be given hidyah is infinitely more successful than going on a route which would dis-please Allah swt. The end can never justify the means if our means are against the laws of Allah swt.

May Allah swt soften our heart, protect us from the waswaas of the shayateen and allow us to become pious, humble servants of our Lord. Ameen, thumameen, Ya RabulAlaameen. May Allah swt forgive me for any wrong that I have said, for surely it is from the evil character within me, and may Allah swt make any good I have said through His bounty a means of Guidance for us all. Ameen.

[eat-halal guy]

brilliant post, Saleel. .



Speaking of giving da`wah to the opposite gender, we should keep in mind:

‏حدثنا ‏ ‏موسى بن إسمعيل ‏ ‏حدثنا ‏ ‏حماد ‏ ‏عن ‏ ‏ثابت ‏ ‏عن ‏ ‏أنس بن مالك ‏ ‏قال ‏ قال رسول الله ‏صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ ‏إن الشيطان يجري من ابن ‏ ‏آدم ‏‏ مجرى الدم

( سنن أبي داود )

Anas ibn Malik (RA) reports that the Prophet (SAW) said:

Indeed, Satan flows through the son of Adam as the blood flows (i.e. through his veins). (Abu Dawood)

‏حدثنا ‏ ‏نصر بن علي ‏ ‏حدثنا ‏ ‏عيسى بن يونس ‏ ‏عن ‏ ‏مجالد ‏ ‏عن ‏ ‏الشعبي ‏ ‏عن ‏ ‏جابر ‏ ‏عن النبي ‏ ‏صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ ‏قال ‏ ‏لا ‏ ‏تلجوا ‏ ‏على ‏ ‏المغيبات ‏ ‏فإن الشيطان ‏‏ يجري من أحدكم مجرى الدم قلنا ومنك قال ومني ولكن الله أعانني عليه فأسلم


( سنن الترمذي )

Jabir (RA) reports from the Prophet (SAW) that he said:

Do not enter upon the mughibaat (those non-mehram women whose husbands are not present). Indeed, Satan flows through each of you as the blood flows (i.e. through your veins). We (i.e. the Sahabah) said: Even in you? The Prophet (SAW) replied: Even in me, but Allah helps me against him, thus I am saved. (Tirmidhi)



May Allah (SW) protect us all. Ameen.

[eTeacher]

Masha Allah, some really good replies there especially the reply of Br. Saleel. I would also like to add that you can always refer her to other Muslim females or authentic Islamic websites or if you have any female family members, you could refer the sister to them as well. Also, I'm sure there are many pious sisters on campus, so she should be referred to them.