On the Verge of Reversion ~

[ZKiranov]

As-Salaamu Alaikum ~

In my eagerness to learn about Islam and straighten myself out, I have made a terrible error that I need advice about. Well, I've not made the suspected error YET but I think it may be a sticking point in my reversion process.

I am currently Catholic, and my wife is Presbyterian; neither one of us are very active in our respective churches aside from our children attending day school at her church.

My issue is this: Upon reversion, what is my standing regarding my marriage? I already know my wife thinks I'm crazy or worse for even considering Islam, and her reverting is completely out of the question. As for our children, I obviously want them to be well-rounded but I certainly cannot in good faith make any sort of promise to raise them in a 100% Muslim household.

I know it's not an ideal situation, but I feel Islam is spiritually where I belong and I don't want to jump in with a slew of 'negative marks' against me from the outset.

What should I do? Any advice or comments are most welcome ~~

[mosa707]

Wa alaikumus salam,

if you are convinced of islam, you should say the shahadah soon. May Allah guide us. ameen. May Allah guide your wife too. ameen.

wassalam

[abdushakur]

My issue is this: Upon reversion, what is my standing regarding my marriage?

Peace be upon you, brother.

May Allah bless and protect you. Please pray for me too.

Other more knowledgable brothers and sisters will be able to fill you in with what exactly each spouse must believe in for a marriage to be valid islamically, but for now i can give you a couple of brief pointers:

A Muslim man may marry a Christian lady, provided that:
a) She believes sincerely in her Christian God, Holy book (Bible) and Jesus Christ
b) She is a respectable lady, i.e. not indecent (for want of a better word).

This is just to give you hope for now.
Others should be able to chip in with more detail, inshallah (God-willing)...

[Indian_Muslim]

A Muslim is allowed to stay married to a Christian PROVIDED she goes by the Bible and believes that Abraham and Moses are Prophets of God. Does your wife believe Abraham and Moses are Prophets of God ?? If she does , then you can stay married to her , relax.

[andy8118]

Warm greetings ZKiranov,

The consideration to your wife and children are of course their due and yours. But these are all separate entities (although 1 family unit) all are accountable for themselves (which of course inclulde discharging the rights of the others).

However what is pertinent is that, that warm feeling in the spirit that desires for Islam is a guest in your heart. You should be encouraged to embrace and greet that guest with the hospitality of genuine acceptance.

Everyone's encouragement to you regarding your wife and children are of course for your benefit in applying the more technical aspect of Islam. But although the repercussions of transgressing them have their consequence (and the transgression of them is not what is desired) they are not nearly to the same degree as the consequence of ignoring that desire to take that 'leap of faith' and greeting that guest in the heart.

I hope everyone has this in mind in their nasiha

Islam is spiritually where I belong and I don't want to jump in with a slew of 'negative marks' against me from the outset.

Everyone has to be fair with this individual; which is of course not to encouage to sin, but don't make things more difficult to the entering the door of iman. All of us are yet to really discharge or Islam of full submission to the will and desire of ALLAH.

Quoting Sidi ibn ata'ALLAH

"Mat lubul arifin minALLAH? Siddqu fil 'ubudiyya wa qiyamu fil huqul Rubbubiyya" (What is the desire from ALLAH of one who recognises ALLAH? Genuineness in our worship/slavehood and establishing the rights due to his Lordship).
So this applies to the Shari'ah of the outward and the inward, both at least to their minimum for all of us.

Lastly, ZKiranov - ignore anything that clouds your view of the purity of Islam. With a clear mind, logic, intelligence and morals demand from itself the truth of Islam. So whatever "negative marks" you get here or anywhere else from ignorant non-muslims or ignorant muslims just put it by the way-side to progress in strengthening your faith. You will see that iman (faith) itself will make all the other things that you think are challenges, into easy and desireable steps towards your happiness in your purpose of life in this world and the Hereafter. And if you ever think its only you with the difficulty in applying a particular aspect of Islam i guarantee you that either most people also share the difficulty with that exact thing - or at least that they have difficulty in applying another aspect.

Peace.

[alfatiha]

Wa'alaikumussalam

Where do you live? It would be easier for any brothers here to direct you to an appropiate mufti in your area regarding your issues, instead of waiting/looking answer from internet. Insya-Allah the Muslims in your area will be willing to help you in case you need it.

[ryameen]

Assalamualaykum,

Brother Zkiranov, being connected to God is more important than the technicalities. Allah will make those things easy. I say, you become Muslim, for this is what is going to beautify our hereafter.

Even if things are difficult you will get reward for your patience and perseverance, and spiritually you will be rewarded hopefully here, and definitely in the hereafter.

I agree with what andy has to say.