Teenage daughter visitation w/ non-practising father?

[BintHajj]

As Salaamu Alaikum;

My daughter is 14. Her father and I have been divorced since she was a baby. There was a brief time about 3 years ago that he and I considered getting back together. But once I got to know where he is now, this was out of the question.

He was raised in Islam since he was a child(I was born to 2 Muslim parents Alhamdulillah) but he does not practice at all. He'll go to Eid or Islamic conventions, but that's it. In his current life he drinks to drunkness every single day, smokes marijuana every single day, has a live in girlfriend, and has men and women over every single day who are either there to smoke & drink with him or to purchase marijuana from him.

Obviously, this is NOT a safe or positive environment for our daughter to visit, but I'm loathe to completely forbid her visitation with him. Before I got to know him and how his lifestyle is a few years ago, I was open to him just popping up at any time to see his daughter or take her with him. Also, at that time he only saw her a handful of times a year.

Now he wants to be more involved - usually due to the influence of a new girlfriend, not his own inclination. While I want to encourage his relationship with our daughter, I do NOT like the situation that he takes her into when she goes with him. Nor do I appreciate him popping up with no advanced notice like I did when I was grateful that he was seeing our daughter at all.

Let me also balance the scales a bit by admitting that I am no angel myself, and when he and I were considering remarriage I got involved in his lifestyle somewhat when I was with him(we "dated" in a way) but NEVER around my children. They were with their grandmother when I spent time with him. Since that time about 3 years ago(which only lasted several months), I have not engaged in those acts Alhamdulillah and currently engage in all my Salat, fasting, hijab, etc.

Sorry this was so long, but my question is - what are his and our daughter's rights with regard to visitation in this situation? Do I allow her to go with him or only allow him to come see her supervised in my home?

Unfortunately, I have no male support in my life at this time. My brothers are Muslim but don't concern themselves with anything outside of their homes and I'm not married.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

JazakAllah

Bint Hajj

[yusuf aki abduallah]

As Salaamu Alaikum;

My daughter is 14. Her father and I have been divorced since she was a baby. There was a brief time about 3 years ago that he and I considered getting back together. But once I got to know where he is now, this was out of the question.

He was raised in Islam since he was a child(I was born to 2 Muslim parents Alhamdulillah) but he does not practice at all. He'll go to Eid or Islamic conventions, but that's it. In his current life he drinks to drunkness every single day, smokes marijuana every single day, has a live in girlfriend, and has men and women over every single day who are either there to smoke & drink with him or to purchase marijuana from him.

Obviously, this is NOT a safe or positive environment for our daughter to visit, but I'm loathe to completely forbid her visitation with him. Before I got to know him and how his lifestyle is a few years ago, I was open to him just popping up at any time to see his daughter or take her with him. Also, at that time he only saw her a handful of times a year.

Now he wants to be more involved - usually due to the influence of a new girlfriend, not his own inclination. While I want to encourage his relationship with our daughter, I do NOT like the situation that he takes her into when she goes with him. Nor do I appreciate him popping up with no advanced notice like I did when I was grateful that he was seeing our daughter at all.

Let me also balance the scales a bit by admitting that I am no angel myself, and when he and I were considering remarriage I got involved in his lifestyle somewhat when I was with him(we "dated" in a way) but NEVER around my children. They were with their grandmother when I spent time with him. Since that time about 3 years ago(which only lasted several months), I have not engaged in those acts Alhamdulillah and currently engage in all my Salat, fasting, hijab, etc.

Sorry this was so long, but my question is - what are his and our daughter's rights with regard to visitation in this situation? Do I allow her to go with him or only allow him to come see her supervised in my home?

Unfortunately, I have no male support in my life at this time. My brothers are Muslim but don't concern themselves with anything outside of their homes and I'm not married.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

JazakAllah

Bint Hajj

Sister BintHajj.I think supervized visitations is the best choice for know until he changes his bad habbitsSister your story is a good sign of Allah Ta ala's Mercy.Allah shows us mercy and we should show the same to others.Alhamduillah indeed.May Allah continue to strengthen your Iman.(Ameen)

[BintHajj]

As Salaamu Alaikum Brother Abduallah;

JazakAllah for your answer. Yes, supervised visitation would be best. But now how to get him to comply....

May Allah SWT continue to strengthen your Iman as well. Ameen.