Boy-Girl Relationship

[kizo7]

Assalamualaikum. May all of us be in fear of Allah and may He show us the right way insyaAllah.

I am an 18 year old male from Singapore. I have a question that i can't really find an answer to. Many couples nowadays are involved in Boy-Girl Relationship(BGR) nowadays, including Muslims. Are we permitted to BGR in Islam?

I heard from a friend that we must marry with Islam as the first reason. So if both couples are in love with each other and at the same time, don't commit any form of touching or eye contacts or looking at each other with sexual desires, but at the same time, abiding by other Islamic practices like praying 5 times per day etc, is it permissible for the couple in the light of Islam?

For the same situation above, if they both are loving couples but they commit adultery with each other and then repent to Allah with full regret and turn to Him with full repentance, will their love, and eventually marriage, be accepted by Allah?

if the marriage were made by their parents without each other knowing about each other at all before marriage, there may be times where the couples will be having conflicts if they cannot get along with each other. thus, they may finally end up getting divorced, the only halal thing that Allah hates. This is the most extreme case i am possibly coming up with.

This being said, how, then, will a Muslim go around searching for their life-long partner?

[Colonel_Hardstone]

Assalamualaikum. May all of us be in fear of Allah and may He show us the right way insyaAllah.

I am an 18 year old male from Singapore. I have a question that i can't really find an answer to. Many couples nowadays are involved in Boy-Girl Relationship(BGR) nowadays, including Muslims. Are we permitted to BGR in Islam?

I heard from a friend that we must marry with Islam as the first reason. So if both couples are in love with each other and at the same time, don't commit any form of touching or eye contacts or looking at each other with sexual desires, but at the same time, abiding by other Islamic practices like praying 5 times per day etc, is it permissible for the couple in the light of Islam?

For the same situation above, if they both are loving couples but they commit adultery with each other and then repent to Allah with full regret and turn to Him with full repentance, will their love, and eventually marriage, be accepted by Allah?

if the marriage were made by their parents without each other knowing about each other at all before marriage, there may be times where the couples will be having conflicts if they cannot get along with each other. thus, they may finally end up getting divorced, the only halal thing that Allah hates. This is the most extreme case i am possibly coming up with.

This being said, how, then, will a Muslim go around searching for their life-long partner?

W-Salam,

Singapore is a very hard place to live and one's Eeman is constantly being challenged.

Before I answer your question, have you contacted MUIS for your query?
Also have you asked your local Imam in Singapore? Are you Malay or Indian or Chinese? Are you a student?

And I can perhaps then direct you to the right Mosque/Imam?

If the questions are too personal for you, please don't answer them & we will get to your query, Insha'Allah.

[mosa707]

Assalamualaikum. May all of us be in fear of Allah and may He show us the right way insyaAllah.

I am an 18 year old male from Singapore. I have a question that i can't really find an answer to. Many couples nowadays are involved in Boy-Girl Relationship(BGR) nowadays, including Muslims. Are we permitted to BGR in Islam?

I heard from a friend that we must marry with Islam as the first reason. So if both couples are in love with each other and at the same time, don't commit any form of touching or eye contacts or looking at each other with sexual desires, but at the same time, abiding by other Islamic practices like praying 5 times per day etc, is it permissible for the couple in the light of Islam?

For the same situation above, if they both are loving couples but they commit adultery with each other and then repent to Allah with full regret and turn to Him with full repentance, will their love, and eventually marriage, be accepted by Allah?

if the marriage were made by their parents without each other knowing about each other at all before marriage, there may be times where the couples will be having conflicts if they cannot get along with each other. thus, they may finally end up getting divorced, the only halal thing that Allah hates. This is the most extreme case i am possibly coming up with.

This being said, how, then, will a Muslim go around searching for their life-long partner?

Wa alaikumus salam warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu,

I m also from singapore brother. Ya, i understand boy girl relationship is very prevalent among singapore muslims,. However, it is haram and we should not be doing that.

[kizo7]

Jazak Allahu Khayran for all the replies so far.

To Muadh_Khan, i feel that it doesn't really matter if i'm malay, chinese or indian, because we are all muslims after all, under one big tree =) but just for info, i'm a mix of indian and malay, from the Shafi'i madhab. Currently, this is the only place i've posted my question, but i've yet to ask around the imams and teachers in my masjid. just a question that came to my mind early this morning. but i was just asking for the pure sake of knowledge only =)

To mosa707, i appreciate your reply but, what about the last question i posted, which is how the muslims go around searching for the life partner? i acknowledge that we muslims must believe in qada' and qadar, 6th pillar of Iman. but somehow or another, a man will find his fated woman eventually. but will it come in the form of any the situations that i have listed? the fact is, many of the married people found each other through those situation(s) and still have affectionate love until they return to Allah.

i will appreciate any replies that will come insya'Allah. Jazak Allahu Khayran

[mosa707]

Jazak Allahu Khayran for all the replies so far.


To mosa707, i appreciate your reply but, what about the last question i posted, which is how the muslims go around searching for the life partner? i acknowledge that we muslims must believe in qada' and qadar, 6th pillar of Iman. but somehow or another, a man will find his fated woman eventually. but will it come in the form of any the situations that i have listed? the fact is, many of the married people found each other through those situation(s) and still have affectionate love until they return to Allah.

i will appreciate any replies that will come insya'Allah. Jazak Allahu Khayran

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم.
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته.

Wa iyyakum brother.
As for your last question regarding arranged marriages breaking up, the situation is quite the reverse in singapore. Statistics of muslim marriages in singapore shows that it is the love marriages that are more likely end up in divorces. This is why muis have chosen to increase the age of marriage here

And finally the right end does not justify the wrong means. You agree that we will eventually have to get married to the woman decreed by Allah. We have the means to choose ie, the right and wrong way. We choose the right way, we get rewarded.

From what brothers and sisters here have given advice regarding choosing marriage partners, if you like a female muslimah approach thru the wali.

You can also ask the imam to recommend you good families where you can choose your wife.

You can list your criteria that you expect in your wife to your parents and ask them to choose for you. I know many here in singapore who have married muslimah here thru the halal means. Allahu alam.



May Allah reward you for your concerns. Ameen

May Allah reward you with a pious wife and offsprings who will be the coolness of your eyes in this world and hearafter. ameen

Wassalam

[alkathiri]

Marry a pious women and also but less importantly a beautiful women. The love will come later , trust me.

You can ask good brothers whom you know or dont whether they have any good sisters. The best place to start is during islamic classes