Incidents of awkardness

[Kulthoom]

Several situations have arisen whereby my not-so-practicing male members of family have interacted with me in the process of shaking my hands or a patting on the back. My procedure of hugging and kissing my aunts and then turning awkardly at my uncles, male cousins and giving salams, has'nt been very helpful.


I have decided that I failed miserably in sending a direct message that this is not correct for me. I am really shy around them except the only one uncle who is really religious. We joke, discuss Islam and have the correct manner of interactions. I really embarrassed a distant relative who is an Imam and shook my hand, (grasping it when I withdrew) during the month of Ramadhan. Stupidly, I took his wife aside and requested that this type of 'interaction' does not repeat itself. Of course the result was really embarrassing as she became defensive and replied that her husband did not mean anything by the gesture, looking at me in a very strange and hurt way. I can also state the numerous times of interactions with non-Muslims, who have been considerably appalled at the direct and abrupt manner in which I take a stand on the issue. They are not comfortable working around me as they are expected to always be on correct behaviour.

The issue has recently occured yet again with another male relative. His hurtful reaction;- facial expression, was too awful and heart-rendering. In an attempt to avoid such awkardness and any possible future hurt, I would like members advices on proper and polite approaches for these types of situations.

[Yaqubi]

There are some similar topics like this on the forum already. Basically one of the suggestions was to sneeze (or at least fake it) in your hand just before shaking (which should keep most people away )

Heres some of the related topics:

http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3335
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38712
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=34716
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21921

[The_Humble_One]

Allah bless you for trying to abide by the deen. I empathize with every Musilm who is trying to live according to the Prophetic guidance in these times.

If your family is Muslim, how do they not know this rule? Just tell them and they will understand. Most people are naturally polite and understanding.

Also you try your best in every situation. There's a big difference between a person who tries her best and a person who is heedless even if the resultant outward action might seem to be the same.

[vagabond]

Ummm .. your uncles are your mahrem. You can interact with them physically.

[Kulthoom]

The advice and info. in those links were really helpful.

If your family is Muslim, how do they not know this rule? Just tell them and they will understand. Most people are naturally polite and understanding.

Not my extended family, they don't demonstrate respect and adherence towards some of the teachings of Islam...except for one older uncle. He persistently tries lecturing to the rest but they are still v. much greatly astray. My immediate family members are more practicing.

your uncles are your mahrem. You can interact with them physically.

I was not aware of that (i.e that we are allowed physical contact). In anycase, would'nt my mahrams not being practicing be an influence on the manner in which i interact with them? I am not being absolutely strict yet at the same time, I am not really comfortable in their company.....etc.

for your replies.