Several situations have arisen whereby my not-so-practicing male members of family have interacted with me in the process of shaking my hands or a patting on the back. My procedure of hugging and kissing my aunts and then turning awkardly at my uncles, male cousins and giving salams, has'nt been very helpful.
I have decided that I failed miserably in sending a direct message that this is not correct for me. I am really shy around them except the only one uncle who is really religious. We joke, discuss Islam and have the correct manner of interactions. I really embarrassed a distant relative who is an Imam and shook my hand, (grasping it when I withdrew) during the month of Ramadhan. Stupidly, I took his wife aside and requested that this type of 'interaction' does not repeat itself. Of course the result was really embarrassing as she became defensive and replied that her husband did not mean anything by the gesture, looking at me in a very strange and hurt way. I can also state the numerous times of interactions with non-Muslims, who have been considerably appalled at the direct and abrupt manner in which I take a stand on the issue. They are not comfortable working around me as they are expected to always be on correct behaviour.
The issue has recently occured yet again with another male relative. His hurtful reaction;- facial expression, was too awful and heart-rendering. In an attempt to avoid such awkardness and any possible future hurt, I would like members advices on proper and polite approaches for these types of situations.