situation after declaration

[zaara patel]

asalaam alaikum sisters and brother.

may allah be please with all of us.

some months ago i asked here abt proclaiming my faith to my parents.
alahumdulillah, i was able to speak with them about my iman. 2 days before.
now i want to share the post situation.
when i told them that "i believe in allah the only God.
and want to lead rest of my life as muslim, by submitting my will to allah."

they have told me that "it will not be possible for you, you are born in a hindu family." so they are not allowing me to perform salat, hijab, etc. i replied you can not change my heart, when allah guides me through straight path." they have given me one year to forget what i believe. i seek refuge in the sight of allah. i am afraid that they will not keep their promise of one year.

after one day they are behaving as if, i have told them nothing. unexpectedly they have started loving me more.

i pray to allah that a day which they expect would never come, and guide me on the straight path for ever.

what should i do in such a situation if they continue to behave like this?
give me suggestions on this regards.

[KeepTheGazeDown]

asalaam alaikum sisters and brother.

may allah be please with all of us.

some months ago i asked here abt proclaiming my faith to my parents.
alahumdulillah, i was able to speak with them about my iman. 2 days before.
now i want to share the post situation.
when i told them that "i believe in allah the only God.
and want to lead rest of my life as muslim, by submitting my will to allah."

they have told me that "it will not be possible for you, you are born in a hindu family." so they are not allowing me to perform salat, hijab, etc. i replied you can not change my heart, when allah guides me through straight path." they have given me one year to forget what i believe. i seek refuge in the sight of allah. i am afraid that they will not keep their promise of one year.

after one day they are behaving as if, i have told them nothing. unexpectedly they have started loving me more.

i pray to allah that a day which they expect would never come, and guide me on the straight path for ever.

what should i do in such a situation if they continue to behave like this?
give me suggestions on this regards.

If your parents are being good to you than thats a good thing. Be kind to them as well since Islam teaches us to respect parents even though they are non-muslims and keep your prayers up. If you feel that praying infront of them will create tension than do it in a secluded place.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

[bugmenot]

May Allah make it easy for you, your family and all other converts, aameen!

[leaf]

Salaam Alaikum Sister

I too have just recently reverted to Islam, and I know that telling the family can be a hard and arduous process, have you searched islamonline.net for how to deal with this? I've found them very good in answering a wide range of questions and backing their answers up with hadiths and verses from the Qur'an.

May Allah make what I write (below) clear to understand and allow it to be of use to you. May Allah be pleased with this and forgive me of any errors I may make.

From what I have read so far and of course, my personal experience, here are my thoughts....

1. Remember that as well as this is not easy for you to say, it is also not easy for your family to hear. I read on a site that "part of wisdom is to react to every action in a reasonable way, taking into considerations the circumstances surrounding it". I know it feels to feel like you're an outsider, but also try to bear in mind their position too, especially if they have tried to raise you your whole life in another religion.

2. If they do react negatively, do not be disheartened. Ask Allah (swt) for patience. Allah (swt) provides for all our needs, even down to chemical composition of air we need to breath everyday. So be patient. Also, I have been told by other muslims that their heart will soften eventually.

2. To encourage your family, act kindly and graciously to them. Forgive them of all that you can. Be helpful and respectful at all times and try to emulate the best kind of behaviour at home. When they see that your conversion has made such a positive effect on you, they will react positively to your kindness, inshaAllah they will be kinder to you.

Here is a verse to that effect:
"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, "my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood." (17: 23,24)

The last bit in "quotation marks" is a dua you can say, maybe doing it regularly will allow you to react righteously to whatever your parents might say. It is up to you.

3. Remember that sometimes it is best to say nothing. If it becomes a Hinduism vs. Islam conversation, or in my case, a Christianity vs. Islam conversation, don't get too involved in it. I just focus on what I need to do for Allah (swt). I would say to use your words wisely, think about Allah (swt) before you speak.

4. Although compared to muslim families, our situation seems difficult - I am starting to see it as a great opportunity. You are your family's main and closest example of how to be a Muslim. They will be encouraged to have a softer perspective Islam by what you do with your life from here on, so make the best of this by showing them an exemplary character, rooted in the wisdom of the Qur'an. I believe Allah (swt) will make it easy for both of us.

5. Keep on with reading and learning more about Islam, even if you have to pray in secret. Allah (swt) is most merciful and your perserverance inshaAllah will not be forgotten.

Here are some sites I reccomend:
http://www.islamfortoday.com/akhtar01.htm (on parents in Islam)
http://www.islamfortoday.com/converts.htm (great list of handy pages)
http://www.islamonline.net/english/index.shtml (you can search for anything, any topic here)

I hope this was not too long. And Allah (swt) knows best.

[habibati]

sister leaf has some excellent suggestions.

I would suggest two things:

Sabr and dua, that is, patience and supplication. I cannot stress this enough, it definitely works. Make dua with all your heart with regards to your situation and have patience

"So verily with every difficulty there is relief. Verily with every difficulty there is relief." 94:5-6

Realize that you might end up being patient for a very long time, days, weeks, months years etc. And I know that this is easier said then done. But inshAllah if you treat your parents well but also hold fast to the rope of Allah, they will come around. I pray that Allah helps you through your difficult time.

[zaara patel]

salaam alaikum sisters and brothers.

i m sorry for being too late.
and m very much thankful to all of you.
may allah be please with you all.
i am trying to follow what allah(swt) commands, and you all hav reminded.
i pray for patience and forgiveness.
special thanks to sis leaf, add. u hav provided are very usefull to me.

allah knows best, when the time will come that my parents accept me with iman.

[meelash]

salaam alaikum sisters and brothers.

i m sorry for being too late.
and m very much thankful to all of you.
may allah be please with you all.
i am trying to follow what allah(swt) commands, and you all hav reminded.
i pray for patience and forgiveness.
special thanks to sis leaf, add. u hav provided are very usefull to me.

allah knows best, when the time will come that my parents accept me with iman.

السلام عليكم,

I remember reading your post some months ago. We are all praying for you. Allah will make it easy for you and also guide your parents and family members to the right path.

[The Fake Shaykh]

Do not give up and do not be downhearted. You shall be uppermost if you are believers. (Surah Ali 'Imran: 139)

[leaf]

Salaam Alaikum Zaara

It's good to hear from you. JazakAllah khair (Thankyou and May Allah reward you with good). I'm happy that you found it helpful. You have helped me too, by knowing that there are others experiencing the same thing as me.

I pray Allah makes this easy for both of us. Everyday brings a new challenge and sometimes a situation that we do not feel ready for. But Allah (swt) knows best and Allah (swt) has control over everything. I will make du'a for you inshaAllah, you are in my thoughts.

[Adnan bin Khalid]

Allah keep you steadfast.