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    Senior Member Hamza81's Avatar
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    Arrow Showing Kindness to one's Parents

    Showing Kindness to one's Parents

    To be obedient and to show kindness to parents has been enjoined in the Holy Quran in such a manner as to say that among the noble deeds, to obey parents, treat them respectfully and to show kindness to them is next to worshipping Almighty Allah.

    In the Qur'an, Allah asks Muslims to show kindness to their parents and forbids them from making even the smallest gesture or uttering even the smallest word of reproach to them.

    No impatience, disrespect, or contempt may be shown to parents.

    The Holy Quran says, "Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor." - Surah Al Isra (17:23).

    Allah says in the Qur'an what means,

    [And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve any but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) "ugh," nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord, bestow on them Your mercy even as they cherished me in childhood."]

    (Al-Israa' 17:23-24)

    The metaphorical use of the word "wing" calls to one's mind the way in which birds tenderly and gently lower their wings for their offspring.

    The reason for the necessity of showing compassion toward parents is also given in the verse that reminds Muslims that their parents, and particularly the mother, suffered and sacrificed for them when they were young, weak, and totally dependent.

    Allah says in the Qur'an,

    [And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: to Me is (your final) Goal.]

    (Luqman 31:34)

    According to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the parents of a certain person are his Heaven or Hell. What this means is that if a person obeys his parents, attends to their needs and keeps them happy and comfortable, he will attain Paradise. On the other hand, if he is disrespectful and rude to them, offends them by ignoring their needs and feelings or causes them grief in any manner, his place shall be in Hell.

    The stricture ordained by Islam makes it clear that shrugging off the responsibility of old parents serves as an invitation to Hell. Both the father and mother are equal when it comes to caring for them and providing them all possible physical comforts and mental peace. The time that the parents need to be looked after most, is in their old age. To serve them devotedly at that stage of their lives is the best way of pleasing Almighty Allah. It is also one of the easiest ways of attaining Paradise.

    Abu Hurairah, a companion of the holy Prophet, has said that "a person is indeed disgraced, who does not earn Paradise by caring for his parents during the life time and old age of his/her parents".

    A person once asked the holy Prophet, "Who has the greatest claim on me with regard to service and kind treatment?" The Holy Prophet replied, "Your mother and again your mother and once again your mother. After her is the claim of your father, then that of your near relatives, and then of the relations next to them". (Al-Bukhari)

    This shows that the claim of a mother is greater than a father over the care that you endow upon them in their old age. Serving and obeying parents is a matter of give and take. Those who treat and obey their parents can rest assured that their children will also show kindness and compassion to them. Respecting and caring the parents is a virtue of the highest order that continues to transcend generation after generation.

    Asma bint Abu Bakr relates that her mother had come from Makkah to Madinah to meet her. Her mother was not a Muslim and followed pagan tribal customs and beliefs. Asma enquired from the holy Prophet how she was supposed to treat her. The holy Prophet told her to be kind and considerate and to behave towards her as was a mother's due from a daughter. Obeying one's parents and treating them with respect and affection is a great virtue and it serves as repentence for a person's sins. Similarly, to ask Almighty Allah to have mercy on them after death is an act that brings them comfort in their graves. It is the duty of sons and daughters to pray for the forgiveness of their parents after their death and treat their relatives and friends with due respect. In the Holy Quran, Muslims have been urged to pray for the salvation of their parents as shown in the following verse: "And say, My Lord, Have mercy on both of them as they cared for me when I was little".

    The holy Prophet has said that to abuse one's parents is a major sin. So much so that if a person abuses someone else's parents and that person, in retaliation, abuses his parents, then it is as though he himself has abused his parents. On another occasion, when asked about the major sins, the holy Prophet replied, "To associate someone with Almighty God, to disobey parents, to kill unlawfully, and to give false evidence".

    In fact, keeping ties with one's family is so important in Islam that Allah has said that He will cut off ties with those who cut off ties with their family. Prophet Muhammad has said:

    "Rahim (family ties) is a word derived from Ar-Rahman (the Compassionate) and Allah says: I shall keep connection with him who maintains you and sever connection with him who severs you." (Al-Bukhari)

    Abu Hurairah replied that he had heard from the Prophet that our deeds are presented to Allah every Thursday night and anyone who has severed family ties has all his good deeds rejected. Abu Hurairah did not want any such person sitting in his gathering, which was held on the same night, for fear that it could deprive the entire gathering of blessings.

    Another hadith explains further the reason for this fear: "He who severs ties of kinship, will not enter Paradise." (Muslim)

    Keeping ties with one's family is so important that it is even tied to one's belief in Allah and the Day of Judgment. The Prophet said:

    "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should maintain good relation with his kindred." (Al-Bukhari)

    Those who break these ties are cursed in the Quran. Allah says in the Quran:

    *{And those who break the covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e. they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives) and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse, and for them is the unhappy home (i.e. Hell)}* (Ar-Ra`d 13:25)

    Maintaining ties with one's family is required, regardless of how that family treats you. One must maintain these ties and treat one's family with kindness, even if that family does not treat you with kindness.

    One of the best examples of this lesson is in the story of Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him). After his daughter, Aishah, was slandered in the worst way, Abu Bark found out that the man who began the rumor was Mistah, the cousin whom Abu Bakr had been supporting financially.

    Naturally, Abu Bakr withheld the charity he had been giving the slanderer. Soon after, Allah revealed the following verse:

    *{Let not those among you who are endued with grace and amplitude of means resolve by oath against helping their kinsmen, those in want and those who migrated in the path of Allah. Let them forgive and overlook. Do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? Indeed Allah is oft-Forgiving, most Merciful.}* (An-Nur 24:22)

    Upon hearing this verse, Abu Bakr not only continued to give the man money, he gave him more.

    One should be very cautious about causing someone to break ties with their family, since Allah punishes for this sin in this life and the next. The Prophet Muhammad has said:

    "There is no sin more deserving of having punishment meted out by Allah to its perpetrator in advance in this world along with what He stores up for him in the next world than oppression and severing ties of family." (At-Tirmidhi)

    The Prophet is reported to have said:

    "Indeed, gentleness adds more beauty to the atmosphere it reposes therein." (Muslim)

    Hazrat ibn Abbas narrates from the Prophet that a person whose parents are alive and he obeys them, listens to and respects them, then Allah will open two doors of paradise for him. But if one of his parents is not happy with him, then Allah will not be happy with him either. Then someone asked the Prophet , “Even if they are oppressors?” The Prophet replied, “Yes, even if they are oppressors.”


    It is said, a person who disobeys his parents, or disrespects them and does not listen to them, Allah will open two doors of hell for him. And if he disrespects only one of them, then Allah will only open one door of hell for him.

    Above all, this requires patience and self-restraint. Learn about the tremendousness of being good to one's parents, and keep this in mind.


    When troubled, tried, or tested, turn to Allah in earnest, heart-felt supplication (dua), for He has told us to, "Call upon Me: I will answer you."


    The fire of anger is put out by the water of love: respond to her harshness with love, and soon you will find things changing.

    Allah told the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) in the Qur'an,


    003.159 It was by the mercy of Allah that You were lenient with them, for if You had been stern and fierce of heart they would have dispersed from round about thee. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult with them upon the conduct of affairs. And when You art resolved, then put your trust in Allah. Lo! Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).


    003.160 If Allah is your helper none can overcome you, and if He withdraw His help from you, who is there who can help you after Him? In Allah let believers put their trust.

    Allah, the exalted, ordered us to treat them kindly even when they try to make us associate partners to Allah.

    When being kind to one’s parents, we do not expect a reward from them, but we expect a reward from Allah.

    If the parents are not kind and do not appreciate the kindness of their children, then one has to be patient, bearing the difficulties and be steadfast in doing good to them, and the outcome will be good, Insha Allah.

    And Allah alone gives success.

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    Arrow Re: Showing Kindness to one's Parents

    What does Islam say about "mothers"?

    This is one of the most convincing things about Islam - the treatment of women in general and especially the high position mothers hold in Islam.

    Amongst the clearest examples of Islam's honoring women is the great status of the mother in Islam. Islam commands kindness, respect and obedience to parents and specifically emphasizes and gives preference to the mother as shall be shown in this article. Islam raises parents to a status greater than that found in any other religion or ideology.

    The command to be good to one's parents begins right from the Qur'an. Allah says:

    "Worship God and join not any partners with Him; and be kind to your parents..." [Noble Quran 4:36]

    The mention of servitude to parents follows immediately after servitude to God. This is repeated throughout the Qur'an.

    "Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say, "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." [Noble Quran 17:23-24]

    The great scholar, Abu al-Faraj Ibn Al-Jawzî (d. 1201CE) explained:

    To be kind to one's parents is: to obey them when they order you to do something, unless it is something which Allah has forbidden; to give priority to their orders over voluntary acts of worship; to abstain from that which they forbid you to do; to provide for them; to serve them; to approach them with gentle humility and mercy; not to raise your voice in front of them; nor to fix your glance on them; nor to call them by their names; and to be patient with them. (Ibn al-Jawzî, Birr al-Wâlidayn)

    The Qur'an emphasizes the great struggles the mother goes through for her child, to highlight the need for one to reciprocate their parents sacrifice for them:

    "And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and his weaning was over two years. Be thankful to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination." [Noble Quran 31:14]

    The renowned exegete, Shaykh Abdur-Rahman As-Sa'di (d. 1956), says about this verse:

    {And to your parents} meaning, be kind to your parents, shower on them love, affection and piety, both in words and deeds, treat them with tender humility, provide for them and never harm them verbally nor physically. [...] Then, Allah mentions the reason why we should be kind to our parents, when He says {His mother bore him in travail upon travail}, that is, the mother bore constant suffering; in pain and hardship from the first moment she felt the child moving in her womb to the worst pangs during the time of delivery. And {his weaning is for two years}, that is, during these two years the mother breast-feeds her child and looks after him/her. So after all the years of suffering, hardship, love and care, could we not, at least, compensate our mothers for what they have done for us and pay them back their rights? (Taysîr al-Karîm ar-Rahmân fî Tafsîr al-Kalâm al-Manân)

    The Qur'an repeats its mention of the struggles of the mother in yet another passage:

    "And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims." [Noble Quran 46:15]

    In connection to this passage, the late Grand Mufti of Pakistan, Shaykh Muhammad Shafy (d. 1976) wrote:

    Mother has more rights than father

    Although the first part of this verse is a command to do good to both the parents, the second sentence refers only to the hardships suffered by the mother, because they are unavoidable, and no child can be born without them. Every mother has to go through the problems of pregnancy and severe pains of delivery. As against this, it is not necessary for a father that he suffers any hardship in bringing up and educating the child, if he can afford to pay somebody else for these services. This is why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has given more rights to the mother than anybody else. According to a hadîth he has said,

    "Do good to and serve your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then the near relatives and then those who come after them." [Mazhari]

    "And his carrying and his weaning is in thirty months" [Noble Quran 46:15]

    This sentence too describes the hardships suffered by the mother for her baby. It points out that even after suffering hardships during pregnancy and the severe labor pains, the mother does not get respite from toils, because the natural food of the infants is in her breasts, and she has to suckle them. (Shafy, Ma'âriful Qur'ân [Eng. trans.], vol. 7, pp. 795-796)

    The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) continually used to remind his followers of the status of the mother and the obligation of being good to one's parents. The following narration is a beautiful example of the noble position of the mother:

    A man came to the Prophet and said: O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: "Your mother." The man asked: Then who? So he replied: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So he replied: "Then your father." (Sahîh Bukhârî 5971 and Sahîh Muslim 7/2)

    The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) also said in a famous narration:

    'Paradise lies at the feet of your mother' [Musnad Ahmad, Sunan An-Nasâ’i, Sunan Ibn Mâjah]

    What can be greater evidence of honoring women than this? Islam has effectively placed the ultimate reward for human beings in their devotion to their mothers.

    Shaykh Ibrahîm Ibn Sâlih Al-Mahmud writes:

    Treat your mother with the best companionship, then your father; because paradise is under the mother's feet. Never disobey your parents, nor make them angry, otherwise you will live a miserable life in this world and the hereafter, and your children will treat you likewise. Ask your parents gently if you need something. Always thank them if they give it to you, and excuse them if they do not, and never insist on a matter if they refuse to give you something. (Al-Mahmoud, How to be kind to your Parents, p.40)

    It is related from Talhah ibn Mu'âwiyah as-Salamî who said:

    I came to the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of Allah, I want to perform Jihad in the way of Allah. He asked, "Is your mother alive?" I replied, "Yes." The Prophet then said: "Cling to her feet, because paradise is there." (at-Tabarânî).

    Shaykh Nidhaam Sakkijihaa comments:

    Cling to her feet means to submit yourself to her, be close to her, protect her, serve her because in this is Paradise and with her satisfaction you will enjoy the good blessings of Allah. (Sakkijihaa, Honoring the Parents, p. 52)

    The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) showed us the importance of serving one's parents in the following narration reported by Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud:

    I asked the Prophet, 'O Messenger of Allah, what is the best deed?' He replied 'Prayer offered on time.' I asked, 'What is next in goodness?' He replied, 'To be dutiful and kind to one's parents.' I further asked, 'What is next in goodness?' He replied, 'Jihad in the Allah's cause. [Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim]

    Just as the Prophet said that kindness to one's parents was of the best deeds, he also said that disobedience to them was amongst the major sins:

    "The greatest sins are to associate partners in worship with Allah, to be undutiful or unkind to one's parents, to kill a soul forbidden by Allah and to bear false witness." [Sahîh Bukhârî]

    Even after the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), the Muslim scholars continued to stress the importance of being dutiful to one's mother. By examining the conduct and teachings of the early Muslim scholars, one may see how the direct recipients of the Islamic message understood the command to be dutiful to one's parents. Their behavior towards their parents shows Muslims how one is to implement the teachings of the Prophet on honoring parents.

    Abdullah Ibn Abbâs (d. 687CE), a companions of the Prophet and a great scholar of Islam, considered kind treatment of one's mother to be the best deed for strengthening or rectifying one's relation with God. He said:

    I know of no other deed that brings people closer to Allah than kind treatment and respect towards one's mother. [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/45]

    An even more powerful example is found in the statement of another one of the Prophet's companions, Abdullah Ibn 'Umar (d. 692CE), who was also a great scholar of Islam. It has been related that:

    Abdullah Ibn 'Umar saw a Yemeni man performing Tawâf (circumambulating the Ka'bah) while carrying his mother on his back. This man said to Abdullah Ibn 'Umar, "I am like a tame camel for her! I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think I have paid her back, O Ibn 'Umar?" Abdullah Ibn 'Umar replied, "No, not even one contraction!!" [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/62]

    SubhânAllah (Glory be to God)! The efforts of a man who carries his mother on his back while performing tawâf cannot even repay his mother for a single contraction that she went through for him. Wise indeed was Ibn 'Umar's reply to this man to show him how massively indebted he was to his mother. This is the tremendous value and prestigious position of mothers in Islam!

    Yet another example is found in the following prophecy of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him):

    There will come to you with reinforcements from Yemen a man called Uways ibn 'Âmir of the clan of Murâd from the tribe of Qaran. He had leprosy but has been cured of it except for a spot the size of a coin. He has a mother and he has always treated her with kindness and respect. If he prays to Allah, Allah will fulfill his wish. If you can ask him to pray for forgiveness for you, then do so. [Sahîh Muslim 16/95]

    Indeed, later on 'Umar ibn al-Khattâb met Uways who was exactly as the Prophet described, and upon 'Umar's request Uways prayed for him. Commenting on this narration, Shaykh Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimî writes:

    What a high status Uways reached by virtue of his kindness and respect towards his mother, so that the Prophet recommended his Sahabah [companions] to seek him out and ask him to pray for them!

    All of this indicates the high status to which Islam has raised the position of motherhood, and given the mother precedence over the father. At the same time, Islam has given importance to both parents, and has enjoined kindness and respect to both. (Al-Hashimi, The Ideal Muslimah, IIPH 2005, p. 167)

    So great was the Islamic emphasis on parents, that the Muslims considered a great opportunity to attain paradise in service to one's mother. Iyâs Ibn Mu'âwiyah was a famous Islamic scholar from the second generation of Muslims. When his mother died, Iyâs Ibn Mu'âwiyah cried. He was asked, "Why do you cry?" He said, "I used to have two gates open to Paradise, now one of them is closed."

    Zayn al-'Abidîn (d. 713CE) was the great grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and also a renowned scholar. He used to treat his mother with so much kindness and love as seen in the following narration:

    Once he was asked, 'You are the most kind person to his mother, yet we have never seen you eating with her from a single dish.' He replied, 'I fear that my hand would take the what her eyes have already seen in the dish, and then I would be disobeying her'. [At-Tartushi, Birr al-Wâlidayn]

    In other words, he was so careful not to disobey his mother that he would even avoid eating out of the same plate as her; He thought that she would see a morsel and intend to take it, but before she did he might unknowingly take that same morsel and eat it. This is how careful he was to obey his mother in the most minute details.

    Another early Islamic scholar, Sa'îd Ibn Al-Musayyib (d. 709CE), was asked about the meaning of the verse "but address them in terms of honor" (17:23). Sa'îd Ibn Al-Musayyib replied:

    It means that you should address them as a servant addresses his master.

    Muhammad Ibn Sirîn (d. 729CE) used to speak to his mother in a very soft voice, out of respect for her. He was also often seen in the company of his mother and looking after her. (Ibn al-Jawzî, Birr al-Wâlidayn)

    All that has preceded shows how the status of mothers - and consequently that of women - is elevated to the highest position in Islam. The honor Islam has given to mothers is beyond that found in any other religion, ideology or culture. This is clear proof of the lofty status of Muslim Women.


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    Default Re: Showing Kindness to one's Parents

    It is a duty on man to be kind to his parents


    Praise be to Allaah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

    It is a duty on man to be kind to his parents, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “…be good and dutiful to your parents…” [al-An’aam 6:151];

    to show gratitude to them in all kinds of ways, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “…give thanks to Me and to your parents…” [Luqmaan 31:14];

    and to show them all kinds of good treatment, because of the command of the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to treat them kindly. The ways in which one can show them kindness and respect are many, e.g., visiting them, speaking kindly to them, lowering to them the wing of humility, giving them gifts, and so on. When you go to visit them with the hope of earning reward from Allaah, this is a great form of worship.

    A son should not neglect this type of worship, and he should appreciate the joy that his parents feel when they see their son and spend time with him. He should not let his work keep him away from seeing his parents, because it is very important and precious for them to see their son. If a person is aware of some negative things when he visits them, he can reduce these negative aspects, or cut the visit short and make up for it in other ways, such as sending letters, making telephone calls or others ways of keeping in touch and maintaining ties, like giving gifts, and so on.

    We ask Allaah to help us to honour our parents. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

    Source:http://islam4parents.com/2009/03/it-...o-his-parents/


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    Default Re: Showing Kindness to one's Parents

    Jazak'Allah 4 The Post...Its Really Useful


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    Default Re: Showing Kindness to one's Parents

    Islamic teachings on the Importance of Parents

    Say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. - Quran 17:23

    In Islam it is obligatory for us to show kindness, respect, and obedience to our parents. The position of parents, and the mutual obligations and responsibilities, have been addressed in Islam in great detail. In fact kindness and obedience is so strongly emphasized that God has linked showing gratitude to one's parents with showing gratitude to God -

    And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal. (31:14)

    Sadly we are living in a time where children speaking disrespectfully to their parents and about their parents, is the norm rather than the exception. However Islam places great emphasis on respectful and considerate behaviour to even our enemies, so to not uphold the obligations laid down by God to our parents is actually one of the major sins.

    In the Quran

    Let's see what the Quran says about Parents. This is the Book; in it is guidance sure, without doubt, to those who fear God (2:02)
    Treat parents with honour & speak to them graciously & with humility

    Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood. (17:23)

    Be grateful to parents but do not obey them if they strive to make you associate things with God

    ...Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual coming. But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, then will I inform you of what you did (31:15)

    These verses make it clear that we must honour our parents, appreciate their sacrifices and efforts for us, and do our best for them. This is required regardless of whether they are Muslims or not.

    Be good to parents and everyone else who you meet

    Serve God, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For God loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;- (4:36)

    If the Quran tells us to be good to a stranger how can we even think of disrespecting our parents?

    Hadiths

    Let's see what Prophet Muhammad said about parents in the authentic Hadiths. Whatsoever the Prophet gives you, take it and whatsoever he forbids you, refrain from it. - Quran 59:7

    Disobedience to parents is a major sin

    Anas narrated from Prophet Muhammad about the major sins. He (Mohammed) observed: Associating anyone with God, disobedience to parents, killing a person and false utterance. (Muslim)
    One of the dearest deeds to God is being good & dutiful to parents

    Narrated 'Abdullah: I asked the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) "Which deed is the dearest to God?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents"... (Bukhari)

    Being dutiful to parents is one of the keys to enter Paradise

    Abu Huraira (RA) reported Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) as saying: Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: God's Messenger, who is he? He said: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (because he has been undutiful to them). (Muslim)

    Acts of kindness we can do for our parents after their death

    While we were with Prophet Muhammad of God . A man of Banu Salmah came to Him and said: Apostle of God is there any kindness left that I can do to my parents after their death? He replied: Yes, you can invoke blessings on them, forgiveness for them, carry out their final instructions after their death, join ties of relationship which are dependent on them, and honour their friends. (Abu Dawood)

    The High Status given to Mothers

    A man came to the Prophet and asked him for permission to join a military expedition. The Prophet asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied that he had, he said, "Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet." (Ahmad)

    Summary

    Sometimes we may take our parents for granted and overlook their importance. As Muslims we should constantly be alert to guard ourselves from sins, however, are we guarding ourselves from one of the biggest major sins? Are we honouring and respecting our parents as per their right? Or are we neglecting one of the deeds most dearest to God? Right now the choice is ours!

    We ask God the Most High, the All-Powerful, to teach us that which will benefit us, and to benefit us by that which we learn.


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    Default Re: Showing Kindness to one's Parents

    Treat our parents the way they should be treated


    We must try our best to obey them as much as possible as long as they are telling us to do something good and permissable. We must be gentle towards them and never even say "uff" to them.

    Abu al-Faraj Ibn Al-Jawzî (d. 1201CE) explained:

    To be kind to one's parents is: to obey them when they order you to do something, unless it is something which Allah has forbidden; to give priority to their orders over voluntary acts of worship; to abstain from that which they forbid you to do; to provide for them; to serve them; to approach them with gentle humility and mercy; not to raise your voice in front of them; nor to fix your glance on them; nor to call them by their names; and to be patient with them. (Ibn al-Jawzî, Birr al-Wâlidayn)

    We must respect and honour them at all times regardless of how they treat us even if they oppress us. We must try to look for every excuse, opportunity and chance to serve them and make them the happiest. For us to never look at serving them as a burden but a great blessing.

    Shaykh Ibrahîm Ibn Sâlih Al-Mahmud writes:

    Treat your mother with the best companionship, then your father; because paradise is under the mother's feet. Never disobey your parents, nor make them angry, otherwise you will live a miserable life in this world and the hereafter, and your children will treat you likewise. Ask your parents gently if you need something. Always thank them if they give it to you, and excuse them if they do not, and never insist on a matter if they refuse to give you something. (Al-Mahmoud, How to be kind to your Parents, p.40)

    We should try our best to speak to our parents in a soft voice. Muhammad Ibn Sirîn (d. 729CE) used to speak to his mother in a very soft voice, out of respect for her. He was also often seen in the company of his mother and looking after her. (Ibn al-Jawzî, Birr al-Wâlidayn)

    We should make the best of every opportunity we have to treat our parents the best whilst they are still alive for we will be in utter regret when we realise how much reward we have missed out on not serving or treating our parents how we should have.

    May Allah enable us to treat our parents they way they should be treated. Ameen


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    Default Re: Showing Kindness to one's Parents

    How do you suggest handling severe abuse, like parents who sexually molest their kids or even almost murder them? Or parents who are cruel and severely harming an innocent obedient child?Or parents whose kids are suicidal from abuse?


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    Default Re: Showing Kindness to one's Parents

    Quote Originally Posted by jann View Post
    How do you suggest handling severe abuse, like parents who sexually molest their kids or even almost murder them? Or parents who are cruel and severely harming an innocent obedient child?Or parents whose kids are suicidal from abuse?
    Besides this, I would also like someone suggest dealing with parents who actually send their children to other people's homes to get beaten and chided...........I know a mother who used to send her only 9 or 10-year old son to a neighbour's house so that the the latter would strike her son, scold him, threaten him to death and thus, "turn him into a good and obedient child".......How pathetic is that!!!


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    Default Re: Showing Kindness to one's Parents

    Abu ‘Amr ash-Shaybani radhiyallahu anhu said, “The owner of this house (and he pointed at the house of ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ud) said, “I asked Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam which action Allah loves best. He replied, “Prayer at its proper time.” “Then what?” I asked. He said, “Then kindness to parents.” I asked, “Then what?” He replied, “Then jihad in the Way of Allah.” He added, “He told me about these things. If I had asked him to tell me more, he would have told me more.”

    • ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar radhiyallahu anhu said, “The pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parent. The anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parent.”

    • Bahz ibn Hakim’s grandfather radhiyallahu anhu said, “I asked, “Messenger of Allah, to whom should I be dutiful?” “Your mother,” he replied. I asked, “Then whom?” “Your mother,” he replied. I asked, “Then whom?” “Your mother,” he replied. I asked, “Then whom?” “Your mother,” he replied. I asked, “Then to whom should I be dutiful?” “Your father,” he replied, “and then the next closest relative and then the next.”

    • ‘Ata’ ibn Yasar radhiyallahu anhu said that a man came to Ibn ‘Abbas radhiyallahu anhu and said, “I asked a woman to marry me and she refused to marry me. Another man asked her and she agreed to marry him. I became jealous and killed her. Is there any way for me to repent?” He asked, “Is your mother alive?” “No,” he replied. He said, “repent to Allah and try to draw near Him as much as you can.” ‘Ata’ radhiyallahu anhu said, “I went to Ibn ‘Abbas radhiyallahu anhu and asked him, “Why did you ask him whether his mother was alive?” He replied, “I do not know of any action better for bringing a person near to Allah than dutifulness to his mother.”

    • Abu Hurayrah radhiyallahu anhu said, “Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam was asked, “Messenger of Allah, to whom should I be dutiful?” “Your mother,” he replied. He was asked, “Then whom?” “Your mother,” he replied. He was asked, “Then whom?” “Your mother,” he replied. He was asked, “Then whom?” “Your mother,” he replied. He was asked, “Then whom?” He replied, “Your father.”

    • Abu Hurayrah radhiyallahu anhu reported: “A man came to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam and asked, “What do you command me to do?” He replied, “Be dutiful towards your mother.” Then he asked him the same question again and he replied, “Be dutiful towards your mother.” He repeated it yet again and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam replied, “Be dutiful towards your mother.” He repeated the question a fourth time and the reply was, “Be dutiful towards your mother.” Then he put the question a fifth time and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, “Be dutiful towards your father.”

    • Ibn ‘Abbas radhiyallahu anhu said, “If any Muslim obeys Allah regarding his parents, Allah will open two gates of Jannah for him. If there is only one parent, then one gate will be opened. If one of them is angry, then Allah will not be pleased with him until that parent is pleased with him.” He was asked, “Even if they wrong him?” “Even if they wrong him,” he replied.

    • Taysala ibn Mayyas radhiyallahu anhu said, “I was with the Najadites (Kharijites) when I committed wrong actions which I supposed were major wrong actions. I mentioned that to Ibn ‘Umar radhiyallahu anhu. He inquired, “What are they?” I replied, “Such-and-such,” He stated, “These are not major wrong actions. There are nine major wrong actions. They are: associating others with Allah, killing someone, desertion from the army when it is advancing, slandering a chaste woman, usury, consuming an orphan’s property, heresy in the Masjid, scoffing, and causing one’s parents to weep through disobedience.” Ibn ‘Umar radhiyallahu anhu then said to me, “Do you wish to separate yourself from the Fire? Do you want to enter the Fire?” “By Allah, yes!” I replied. He asked, “Are your parents still alive?” I replied, “My mother is.” He said, “By Allah, if you speak gently to her and feed her, then you will enter Jannah as long as you avoid the major wrong actions.”

    • Abu Hurayrah radhiyallahu anhu reported Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, “A child cannot repay his father unless he finds him as a slave and the buys him and sets him free.”

    • Sa‘id ibn Abi Burda radhiyallahu anhu said, “I heard my father sat that Ibn ‘Umar radhiyallahu anhu saw a Yamani man going around the House while carrying his mother on his back, saying, “I am your humble camel. If her mount is frightened, I am not frightened.” Then he asked, “Ibn ‘Umar radhiyallahu anhu? Do you think that I have repaid her?” He replied, “No, not even for a single groan.” “Ibn ‘Umar radhiyallahu anhu did tawaf and came to the Maqam and prayed two rak‘ats. He said, “Ibn Abi Musa radhiyallahu anhu, every two rak‘ats make up for everything that has happened between them.”

    • Marwan radhiyallahu anhu used to make Abu Hurayrah radhiyallahu anhu his (business) agent and he used to be located in Dhul-Hulayfah. His mother was in one house and he was in another. When he wanted to go out, he would stop at her door and say, “Peace be upon you, mother, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.” She would reply, “And peace be upon you, my son, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.” Then he said, “May Allah have mercy on you as you raised me when I was a child.” She answered, “May Allah have mercy on you as you were dutiful to me when I was old.” Whenever he wanted to go inside, he would do something similar.

    • ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr radhiyallahu anhu said, “A man came to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam, and made a pledge to him that he would do Hijrah. He left his parents who were in tears. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, “Go back to them and make them laugh as you made them weep.”

    (Adab al Mufrad - Bukhari)
    "Kash ! Main ek darakht hota jise kaat diya jata.(Ibne majah)".[abu dharr(Radhiyallahu anhu)]


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