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Thread: Advice needed on marriage and age difference.

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    Default Advice needed on marriage and age difference.

    ASalama-alaikum

    I hope that everyone is doing well.

    I have an important question to ask on age gap and marraige. If a 27 year old guy was to marry a 19 year old female would that seem strange and unacceptable? I ask this as this is an answer that I really need right now. If both people get on and have a good understanding.

    Similarly is it wrong for a 31 year old guy to marry a 23 year old girl?

    Im just worried about age gap. Is 7-8 year old age gap ok in Islam (the male being older)

    Many thanks


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    Default Re: Advice needed on marriage and age difference.

    There is nothing wrong with that, if the man and woman have both agree to getting married, who are you to tell them otherwise? Is it going to affect you in anyway?

    I suggest you watch Dr. Zakir Naik's talk at Peace Conference 2009 which was made a few days ago on Woman's Rights, you can find it on Youtube here:

    http://www.youtube.com/user/ShahadahProject


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    Default Re: Advice needed on marriage and age difference.

    Assalam o Alaikum I'm a boy of 26, and i have come to know a very nice girl, belonging to a very good family. I wish to marry her and to propose to her parents for this purpose. But the problem is that the girl is still a child, and only 13 years old, which makes her 13 years my junior in age. What is the maximum permissible age difference between a husband and wife which is recommended by Islam. I understand that technically there is not limit, but i mean to ask which is a favoured figure in this regard. Also I wish to ask if its morally acceptable for me to think about her, be attracted to her and to propose for her in marriage. And do u think our relationship would be legimitate and socially and religiously acceptable with this age difference. Also, if per chance it is acceptable, it raises a question that islam advocates soliciting a girl's opinion in marriage, but how can such a young girl make an intelligent decision for herself. In such case, what are the basis for islam's allowing such a marriage to take place. YOur help would be gratefully appreciated. Jizak Allah

    1) As you have rightly stated there is technically no stipulated age limit
    between the spouses.
    2) What one has to consider is compatibility. This is essential for a
    healthy and lasting marraige. Do you forsee that you will be comfortable
    with this lady despite the age gap. Will social pressure, if any, effect
    your relationship. These are factors for you to determine. As long as there
    is compatibility, there is no Sharee objection to the marraige.
    3) Once a person attains puberty the Shariah considers the person as
    intelligent. Thus one who has attained puberty may make an independent
    decision. The Shariah nevertheless strongly recommends that such a girl
    should consult with her parents in such a matter.
    4) You may propose to her, but you may not sexually fantasise about her.

    and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

    Mufti Ebrahim Desai
    FATWA DEPT.

    Source: http://www.islam.tc/cgi-bin/askimam/...=4529&act=view
    Allahuma salli ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala ali Sayyidina Muhammad

    "O friend, the cloth from which your burial shroud will be cut may have already reached the market and you remain unaware."

    "What good is an increase in wealth when life grows even shorter?"

    [Imam al-Ghazali R.A.]


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    Default Re: Advice needed on marriage and age difference.

    To be honest guys my main concern was whether this was ok/normal i.e. the age difference.

    I was worried that a 27 year old and a 19 year old - almost 9 year age gap would look odd?

    But I guess its not bad.


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    Default Re: Advice needed on marriage and age difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by peace800 View Post
    To be honest guys my main concern was whether this was ok/normal i.e. the age difference.

    I was worried that a 27 year old and a 19 year old - almost 9 year age gap would look odd?

    But I guess its not bad.


    No, that's not remotely strange. As long as the two people are in love with each other, don't pay attention to what society says--I can't even see people being able to discern any considerable difference between a 27 year old and a 19 year old. It's generally accepted within most cultures that women prefer older men, and men prefer younger women.


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    Default Re: Advice needed on marriage and age difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by peace800 View Post
    To be honest guys my main concern was whether this was ok/normal i.e. the age difference.

    I was worried that a 27 year old and a 19 year old - almost 9 year age gap would look odd?

    But I guess its not bad.


    When Abu Bakr and Umar sent proposal of their marriage for Fatima prophet denied them because of their age and accepted Ali

    At the time of marriage Ali was 21 years and Fatima was nearly 16 years, so this is the best gap

    I wouldnt really suggest the gap of 10 years unless there is some particular reason. 3 to 5 years would be ok


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    Senior Member Ali_Hasnain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice needed on marriage and age difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by not known View Post


    When Abu Bakr and Umar sent proposal of their marriage for Fatima prophet denied them because of their age and accepted Ali

    At the time of marriage Ali was 21 years and Fatima was nearly 16 years, so this is the best gap

    I wouldnt really suggest the gap of 10 years unless there is some particular reason. 3 to 5 years would be ok


    I've been told that the command of giving Fatima [RA] in marriage to Sayyidina Ali [RA] was from Allah [SWT]. Where is anything about age difference mentioned in the Seerah? Personal opinions really don't matter when it comes to the Shariah.
    Allahuma salli ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala ali Sayyidina Muhammad

    "O friend, the cloth from which your burial shroud will be cut may have already reached the market and you remain unaware."

    "What good is an increase in wealth when life grows even shorter?"

    [Imam al-Ghazali R.A.]


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    Default Re: Advice needed on marriage and age difference.



    Rasulullah has clearly shown that it is alright to marry a woman who is older, younger, or around the same age.
    Lost in an ocean of doubt and confusion am I
    Seeking Your burning beacon light
    ~ Heart Song, Talib al Habib


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    Default Re: Advice needed on marriage and age difference.

    Assalamu aleikum, there's absolutely nothing wrong with an age gap of nine years. most ppl I know have age gaps of 5-15 years with their husbands. There are many reasons behind this, one of them being that women are usually ready to get married earlier than men. Also men, usually being the ones supporting the family actually have to have a job etc. before being able to support their families. Of course what you guys should consider is are you guys ready to be parents? (since Allah is the best of planners). My husband is 13 years older than me and we haven't had any problems because of the age difference so far alhamdulillah I was a single mother when I married so for me it was natural to marry soemone who was already ready to be a father. Allah bless you both n your marriage if u decide to go thru with it inshaAllah khair!


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    Question Re: Advice needed on marriage and age difference.



    The answer to the question is very simple. If the man and woman are willing to marry then it doesn't matter about the age.

    BUT I would like to ask a question!

    Why do most men justify marrying younger women from the Sunnah and never look into marrying older Sisters e.g. the example of Sayyidituna Khadija (RA) & Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) i.e. the age difference of around 15 years older woman/younger man.

    Since there are loads of Single Parents (Sisters) who are getting older we should also encourage it the other way around.

    P.S: I acknowledge Aapa sudoku's comment.


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