Brother Zakariyah, I was joking by providing a twist to his question. But yes, I give him the benefit of the doubt.
Is it permissible to accept tips (money) from customers for example if you are working as a valet car attendant or any job for that matter? Answer:
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
I pray that this finds you well, and in the best of health and spirits. May Allah grant you all good and success in this life and the next.
In general, tips are halal for employees to take--there is nothing about them that would go against Shariah principles.
However, one should not be avid for tips in a manner that would be contrary to propriety or dignified conduct, as one of the central virtues of Islam is dignified restrain (`iffa). This restraint is something the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) praised and taught us to ask Allah for in a number of beautiful supplications, including:
"O Allah, I ask You for guidance, piety, dignified restraint, and freedom from need."
(Allahumma innee as'aluka'l huda, wa't tuqa, wa'l `afaafa, wa'l ghina)
579 - اللهم إني أسألك الهدى والتقى والعفاف والغنى
رواه مسلم والترمذي وابن ماجه عن ابن مسعود رضي الله عنه
[Related by Muslim, on the authority of Ibn Mas`ud (Allah be pleased with him)]
The one giving a tip would be rewarded for appreciating the service of others. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said told us that it is from thankfulness to Allah to be thankful to people.
And when it is customary to give tips for particular services, then it would be proper to follow such customs--within reasonable limits, and as long as there is nothing obviously reprehensible or blameworthy in such a custom (such as undue expectations). This is because of what Ibn Abidin mentions in his work `Uqud Rasm al-Mufti:
Customs are of consideration in the Shariah,
Which is why rulings may revolve around them.
And Allah alone gives success.
I would add that if the person recieving a tip knows you are a Muslim, giving a tip can also become a form of Dawah in that generosity, mercy, good manners, and allowing the reciever to retain dignity, reflects well on the image and idea of Islam.
And Allah knows best.