Girl hunting me! What to do?

[Al-Faruqi]

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

I have a problem:

A non-Muslim (kafir) girl from my school is constantly trying to get in touch with me. When I was absent from school for some time she got my contact details from a teacher or so to give me the homework and stuff. Now she constantly keeps calling at my home and writing me email trying to get a date with me. I tried to stop that through various ways, e.g. miming the forgetful and busy guy and not calling back but it doesn't work.

What should I do? Also, is there a dawah opportunity here where I could pass on to her the message of Islam? (How?)

I don't want to be rough to her but I don't want to get in touch too. Please advise.

Wassalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

[Mubid al-Majus]

wa `alaykum salam,

kafir girl -- that'll be my comic relief for the day. Anyways, let her know that you're not interested in her. Do not be blunt or even direct, but be clear enough to get the message across. Also, if you already don't, make sure that you atleast have some part of your apparel that makes you being a conservative Muslim obvious to people.

[Abu-Abdullah]

it seems the only way this girl would stop the hunt, is if you tell her straight up that you dont want to know; it might be a bit harsh on her but otherwise she may still think she's in with a chance

also broth, indeed this is a chance to get a dawah in to her, so if you have her email adress then drop her off a dawah bro and who knows she might even convert!; seeing that she 'loves' a muslim, she might even fall in love with his religion too [inshALlah]

[NeednoName]

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

I have a problem:

A non-Muslim (kafir) girl from my school is constantly trying to get in touch with me. When I was absent from school for some time she got my contact details from a teacher or so to give me the homework and stuff. Now she constantly keeps calling at my home and writing me email trying to get a date with me. I tried to stop that through various ways, e.g. miming the forgetful and busy guy and not calling back but it doesn't work.

What should I do? Also, is there a dawah opportunity here where I could pass on to her the message of Islam? (How?)

I don't want to be rough to her but I don't want to get in touch too. Please advise.

Wassalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Waaleykum'Assalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Ha haa haaa....

Bhai, I would just say - Do not miss this opportunity. I mean, think of Dawah and Just do it, man! Tell her straight away that she can only be accepted if she becomes Muslim. And once she agrees to become one, introduce her to your parents and get yourself introduced to her's. And if both the parties [her parents and yours] give their consent, then find an Imam and get the Nikah done.


Edit: Above suggestion applies ONLY if you think She is YOUR kind of Girl.

[abulayl]

tell her that you are a muslim, and you arent allow to chit-chat with girls.

[ssjkakarot]

Walaykum salam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Yeah, I agree with the others. It's best if you just told her the truth, that you're a muslim and it is forbidden to date girls. She might find that 'interesting' and look into Islam.

Perhaps an email would be the best way to do this.

[London786]

funny stuff...bro give her some dawah over email not the phone or anything else...but be very clear with her and tell her that islam prohibits anything before marriage...also be very careful...a lot of people start of with 'dawah' then end up elsewhere...be very careful...make dua...and try to do zikr of the heart....

[Abu Shuja'ah]

Walaykum salam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Yeah, I agree with the others. It's best if you just told her the truth, that you're a muslim and it is forbidden to date girls. She might find that 'interesting' and look into Islam.

Perhaps an email would be the best way to do this.

I read that and chuckled to myself, a "muslim" who's not into girls and she's interested? Most non-Muslim girls are okay with gay guys you know! =P

Actually akhi, I agree but explain to her, that temptation exists between a man and a women and you don't want to do things which may compromise your faith. Explain it to her, let her know, but please don't so so privately, do it in an open area in public where atleast one of her friends is extremely close by.

I don't want to have to come back here and see another thread "We're in Love, What Do We Do?", I see enough of those on askimam.org already!

What I'm trying to say is, even when you're explaining the situation with her:
(1) Don't be alone together.
(2) No flirting, subconsciously a glance or a smile or a touch can seem like it is.
(3) Don't smell her perfume.
(4) Don't stare or look too much, it'd seem as if you're admiring her.

The point is don't look directly at her while explaining the situation, many people gaze off to the side when they're explaining something or look down as if they're concentrating while they're speaking.

As much as you'd want to keep parda, the problem is, by approaching the issue head on, you're going to have to deal with her face to face and that's where the above list comes in.

Now I don't recommend texting her or IM'ing her or emailing her, because now that would be correspondence and break parda as you're alone and Allah as my witness knows the desires can stir when a man and a woman are alone and chatting, whether in real life or through a medium, one way or another if you don't check yourself, Iblis will check you and he'd definitely put one thought or another in your mind.

Allahu Alam.

[ibn Mikael]

I would stay away from that. If she's so desperate that she's bugging people to get your number, then calling you constantly, she's obviously pretty desperate. Therefore, she would probably give in to any moves your nafs would make on her.

funny story though....you're so good looking you can't keep the women away!

[NNoor]

Boy, I wish I had your problems

But seriously, a girl that comes after you like that might be a little unstable. You might not want to mess with this. Just give the dawah if you need to and get out!