Bismilah al rahman al Raheem, Al Salamu Aleykum all,
Kindness to the Parents is a divine Order from Allah, it is a great honor and blessing to be able to serve and be kind to the parents. The Qur’an reminds us in many places to be kind and obedient to parents and to guard our tongues when speaking with them:
“And your Sustainer has decreed that you will serve none but Him, and that you be good towards parents, whether one or both of them attain old age in your life: Say not to them (even) `fie,’ nor rebuke them, but address them with terms of honor.” (Al-Israa’ 17:23)
The only time that we can ever make the excuse to not obey our parents is when they command us to do something that is unlawful.
“And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents, and if they contend with you that you should associate (others) with Me, of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, to Me is your return, so I will inform you of what you did.” (Al-`Ankabut 29:8 )
And should we ever have to Disobey them in certain situations Then it should always be in a Kind and respectful way:
“But if they strive with you to associate with Me that which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; yet bear them company in this life in a recognized manner. And follow the way of those who turn to Me. In the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth of all you did.” (Luqman 31:15)
Some of the Hadiths of our Prophet PBUH about al bir
“The pleasure of Allah lies in the pleasure of the father and the displeasure of Allah lies in the displeasure of the father.” [narrated At-Tirmidhi and Tashih was made by ibn Habban].
Narated By Abu Huraira : A man came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father."
Abu Huraira reported that Juraij was one who was devoted to (prayer) in the temple. His mother came to him. Humaid said that Abu Rafi' demonstrated before us like the demonstration made by Abu Huraira to whom Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) had demonstrated as his mother called him placing her palms upon the eyebrows and lifting her head for calling him and said: Juraij, it is your mother, so talk to her. She found him at that time absorbed in prayer, so he said (to himself): O Lord, my mother (is calling me) (whereas I am absorbed) in my prayer. He opted for prayer. She (his mother) went back, then came again for the second time and said: O Juraij, it is your mother (calling you), so talk to me. He said: O Allah, there is my mother also and my prayer, and he opted for prayer. She said: O Allah, this Juraij is my son. I pray to talk to him but he refuses to talk to me. O Allah, don't bring death to him unless he has seen the prostitutes, and had she invoked the curse upon him (from the heart of her heart) he would have been involved in some turmoil. There was a shepherd living near by his temple (the temple where Juraij was engaged in prayer). It so happened that a woman of that village came there and that shepherd committed fornication with her and she became pregnant and gave birth to a child. It was said to her: Whose child is this? She said: He is the child of one who is living in this temple. So there came persons with hatchets and spades. They called Juraij. He was absorbed in prayer and he did not talk to them and they were about to demolish that temple that he saw them and then came to them and they said: Ask her (this woman) what she says. He smiled and then touched the head of the child and said: Who is your father? He (the child) said: My father is the shepherd of the sheep, and when they heard this, they said: We are prepared to rebuild with gold and silver what we have demolished from your temple. He said: No, rebuild it with clay as it had been before. He then went up (to his room and absorbed himself in prayer).
Ibn Dinar reported that a desert Arab met Abdullah b. 'Umar on the way to Mecca. 'Abdullah greeted him and mounted him upon the donkey on which he had been riding and gave him the turban that he had on his head. Ibn Dinar (further) reported: We said to him ('Abdullah b. 'Umar): May Allah do good to you, these are desert Arabs and they are satisfied even with meagre (things). Thereupon Abdullah said: His father was loved dearly by 'Umar b. Khattib and I heard Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The finest act of goodness on the part of a son is to treat kindly the loved ones of his father.
Yazid b. Abu Habib reported that Na'im, the freed slave of Umm Salama, reported to him that 'Abdullah b. 'Amr b. 'As said: There came to Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) a person and said: I owe allegiance to you for migration and Jihad seeking reward only from Allah. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Is one from amongst your parents living? He said: Yes, of course, both are living. He further asked: Do you want to seek reward from Allah? He said: Yes. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Go back to your parents and accord them benevolent treatment.
Narated By Ibn 'Umar : Allah's Apostle said, "While three persons were traveling, they were overtaken by rain and they took shelter in a cave in a mountain. A big rock fell from the mountain over the mouth of the cave and blocked it. They said to each other. 'Think of such good (righteous) deeds which, you did for Allah's sake only, and invoke Allah by giving reference to those deeds so that Allah may relieve you from your difficulty. one of them said, 'O Allah! I had my parents who were very old and I had small children for whose sake I used to work as a shepherd. When I returned to them at night and milked (the sheep), I used to start giving the milk to my parents first before giving to my children. And one day I went far away in search of a grazing place (for my sheep), and didn't return home till late at night and found that my parents had slept. I milked (my livestock) as usual and brought the milk vessel and stood at their heads, and I disliked to wake them up from their sleep, and I also disliked to give the milk to my children before my parents though my children were crying (from hunger) at my feet. So this state of mine and theirs continued till the day dawned. (O Allah!) If you considered that I had done that only for seeking Your pleasure, then please let there be an opening through which we can see the sky.' So Allah made for them an opening through which they could see the sky. Then the second person said, 'O Allah! I had a she-cousin whom I loved as much as a passionate man love a woman. I tried to seduce her but she refused till I paid her one-hundred Dinars So I worked hard till I collected one hundred Dinars and went to her with that But when I sat in between her legs (to have sexual intercourse with her), she said, 'O Allah's slave! Be afraid of Allah ! Do not deflower me except legally (by marriage contract). So I left her O Allah! If you considered that I had done that only for seeking Your pleasure then please let the rock move a little to have a (wider) opening.' So Allah shifted that rock to make the opening wider for them. And the last (third) person said 'O Allah ! I employed a laborer for wages equal to a Faraq (a certain measure: of rice, and when he had finished his job he demanded his wages, but when I presented his due to him, he gave it up and refused to take it. Then I kept on sowing that rice for him (several times) till managed to buy with the price of the yield, some cows and their shepherd Later on the laborer came to me an said. '(O Allah's slave!) Be afraid o Allah, and do not be unjust to me an give me my due.' I said (to him). 'Go and take those cows and their shepherd. So he took them and went away. (So, O Allah!) If You considered that I had done that for seeking Your pleasure, then please remove the remaining part of the rock.' And so Allah released them (from their difficulty)."
Narated By Al-Mughira bin Shu'ba : The Prophet said, "Allah has forbidden for you, (1) to be undutiful to your mothers, (2) to bury your daughters alive, (3) to not to pay the rights of the others (e.g. charity, etc.) and (4) to beg of men (begging). And Allah has hated for you (1) vain, useless talk, or that you talk too much about others, (2) to ask too many questions, (in disputed religious matters) and (3) to waste the wealth (by extravagance).
Narated By Anas bin Malik : Allah's Apostle mentioned the greatest sins or he was asked about the greatest sins. He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah; to kill a soul which Allah has forbidden to kill; and to be undutiful or unkind to one's parents." The Prophet added, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the great sins? That is the forged statement or the false witness." Shu'ba (the sub-narrator) states that most probably the Prophet said, "the false witness."
Abu Huraira reported Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: Allah's Messenger, who is he? He said: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise.
Some Examples Of How the Muslims of the Ummah Act in Kindness and mercy towards their parents
That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance. [69:12]