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Thread: My husband treats me like I'm stupid

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    Default My husband treats me like I'm stupid

    In the beginning it was quite funny and sometimes it still is him just making fun of me and it's quite funny but it's becoming really annoying when he won't take me seriously about stuff that I know more about than him.

    Anytime I try to be happy about my degree result he just dismisses it because I'm doing an arts degree and he's doing a science one (incidentally he failed his year whilst I got a first and one of the highest marks in my year). It really annoys me that he acts as though I haven't done any work at all when I have had a job on top of my uni work and have actually worked hard to achieve my result and the only reason he failed is because he's been really lazy.

    I'm just annoyed because I feel like I'm being constantly talked down to. What can I do?
    Last edited by anon786; 01-08-2010 at 11:10 PM.


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    Default Re: My husband treats me like I'm stupid



    Go all Gordon Freeman on him and beat him down with a crowbar.

    On a serious note, it sounds like he's just messing around and doesn't even realise he's offending you. Have you told him?


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    Default Re: My husband treats me like I'm stupid

    haha I like the idea of the crowbar. Erm..no I don't think I have actually told him directly. I am going to now insha'Allah and he better not just laugh and say I'm being silly. I really don't like being taken for an idiot.


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    Senior Member ibn Mikael's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband treats me like I'm stupid



    What's wrong with a Bachelor of Arts? I have a Bachelor of Arts in English; I've found that most science-orientated majors may do well in math and the like, but they're often very deficient in areas such as logic and grammar (not all of them ). Many of them also have the most rudimentary understanding of politics, society, and culture (again, not all of them ). If you have a degree in art, you may want to prove yourself by taking him to an art gallery and explaining the various techniques and styles that the paintings are incorporating. That'll show him.


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    Default Re: My husband treats me like I'm stupid

    Quote Originally Posted by anon786 View Post
    I really don't like being taken for an idiot.
    Calm down..I think you're being a little too neurotic and mistaking light hearted attempts at banter (a concept we'll never fully understand) for genuine attempts to demean you.


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    Default Re: My husband treats me like I'm stupid

    Quote Originally Posted by laystur View Post
    Calm down..I think you're being a little too neurotic and mistaking light hearted attempts at banter (a concept we'll never fully understand) for genuine attempts to demean you.
    I was getting ready to scream at him. I've calmed down now and I think I'll leave it till the morning. I think I was slightly over-reacting now lol. I know he'd never try hurting my feelings intentionally.


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    Default Re: My husband treats me like I'm stupid

    Quote Originally Posted by ibn Mikael View Post


    What's wrong with a Bachelor of Arts? I have a Bachelor of Arts in English; I've found that most science-orientated majors may do well in math and the like, but they're often very deficient in areas such as logic and grammar (not all of them ). Many of them also have the most rudimentary understanding of politics, society, and culture (again, not all of them ). If you have a degree in art, you may want to prove yourself by taking him to an art gallery and explaining the various techniques and styles that the paintings are incorporating. That'll show him.
    lol I'll try that insha'Allah, it'll be a mission and a half getting him in a gallery.


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    Default Re: My husband treats me like I'm stupid

    I would have to agree with the sister. I think you may just be over reacting. Communicate with him, tell him your concerns in a polite manner as you have done here and tell him you realise he is just messing around but it does actually bother you and you'd appreciate it if her was more sensitive to your feelings. Communication is key.


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    Default Re: My husband treats me like I'm stupid



    Dear sister;

    I'm so sorry you're having a hard time.

    I think it's possible that your husband is just joking with you.
    It's also possible that he feels bad that you've been successful with your degree and employment when he's had a hard time.

    As a man he may feel 'less than' because he wants to be the one to be successful, getting high marks, and excelling in his field of choice. But Allah knows best.

    You may want to let him know that his joking is hurting your feelings.
    If he's just joking, then hopefully he can find something less sensitive to you to joke about.
    If he's not just joking and is feeling bad about his situation, then hopefully he'll realize that what he's saying is hurting his wife and he'll have to find other ways to deal with it.

    I hope things improve for the two of you .



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    Default Re: My husband treats me like I'm stupid

    Quote Originally Posted by BintHajj View Post

    It's also possible that he feels bad that you've been successful with your degree and employment when he's had a hard time.

    As a man he may feel 'less than' because he wants to be the one to be successful, getting high marks, and excelling in his field of choice. But Allah knows best.

    If he's not just joking and is feeling bad about his situation, then hopefully he'll realize that what he's saying is hurting his wife and he'll have to find other ways to deal with it.
    Nah sis. Don't go too far in philosophizing. It's only women who tend to have these kind of deep/almost jealous type feelings. Men usually tend to have simpler motives. As has been stated repeatedly. He's most likely just bantering and probably doesn't even realise the affect it is having on the sister.


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