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Thread: nikah

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    Default nikah

    asalam alaikum

    i have an urgent problem dat needs to be solved.its a long story but il make it short.i keep having doubts with my marriage.the reason am saying ths its because we didnt do nikah.he claims as long as my dad agreed and the mahr is paid then marraige is valid and the consent of the girl.no need to do nikah.since then we have been fighting fighting and fighting.dats y i keep asking myself if we are halal.my dad didnt know we didnt do nikah.i know i should have brought it up long time ago but i wasnt strong enough.

    i just want to know if nikah is obligatory or a marriage without nikah is valid in the presence of mahr bieng agreed or paid,the consent of the girl and the approval of the dad.


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    Default Re: nikah



    There has to be two witnesses during the agreement of becoming husband and wife. Did you have them?



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    Senior Member Intrepid's Avatar
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    Default Re: nikah

    As the brother has suggested you need two male Muslim witnesses to have heard either you or your husband to have offered a proposal and the other one to have accepted. It can be something as simple as the husband saying "Are you my wife?" and the wife replying "Yes." This is the absolute minimal criteria for the nikah to be valid. If at no point, two Muslim male witnesses, have heard you or your husband offer a proposal and the other to have accepted, then your nikah (marriage) would be considered invalid, irrespective of whether the mehr has been paid, the girl has consented or the approval of the her father. Also note, two females witnesses are equivalent to one male witness, hence you can have one male witness and two female witness or even four female witnesses if you choose.

    Please read the following for a more comprehensive way of performing the nikah;

    Question:
    What is the correct hanafi way of nikah ceremony according to the sunnah. I need to know who can be present

    Answer:
    In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

    Assalamu alaykum

    In the name of Allah, Most Gracious Most Merciful.

    The actual marriage ceremony is quite simple. A day is chosen (preferably as soon as possible after the engagement) and announced. The prophet (upon him be peace) encouraged that marriages should be announced well, so that the community learns of this communion and do not look at the couple with suspicion when seen together. Therefore, a marriage should not be contracted in secret.

    Thereafter, the following should be observed for the actual ceremony:

    1. The best time is a Friday after the 'Asr prayer in themasjid. The Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) said, "Announce this marriage, and perform it in the masjid… (Tirmidhi).

    2. Scholars and other pious people should be invited to gain the blessing of their presence and their du'as along with the blessing of Friday and the masjid.

    3. The nikah should be performed by a pious person.

    4. Two witnesses should be chosen and present at the gathering. The Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) said, "There is no marriage without a wali and two upright witnesses… (Ibn Hibban). Although all those present could potentially be witnesses, it is better to have two formal witnesses who sign the marriage contract and can be called upon in the event of any problems.

    5. The marriage payment [dowry or mahr] should be stipulated beforehand and the person performing the ceremony should be informed of the amount.

    6. The bride should preferably send a wali (her father, uncle, brother or any such elder) to represent her. Thewali should be present in the gathering. The Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) said, "A women should not marry herself off [i.e. without a wali] (Ibn maja). In the Hanafi school, the consent of a mature bride is necessary and she cannot be married off without it. The Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) said, "A virgin cannot be married off without her permission." They asked as to how her permission is given. He replied, "Her silence" (Bukhari and Muslim).

    7. When the bride grants her wali [representative] the permission to marry her to the groom, it is preferable to have two people (from among her mahrams) to witness this also. Although, the representation is valid without witnesses, however, in the event of problems their testimony would be needed to prove that she consented to her marriage to the groom.

    8. The sunna khutba [sermon] will be recited first by the imam performing the marriage. This khutbaincludes the three verses of taqwa, and a hadith or two about marriage, exhorting the couple and those present to fear Allah and attain taqwa (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Nasai, Ahmad).

    9. After the khutba the imam will ask the representative (1) if he gives consent to the bride's (taking her complete name) marriage (2) to the groom (again taking the complete name) (3) for the stipulated amount of marriage payment (4) in the presence of the two witnesses. If the representative consents then the imam turns to the groom and ask him if he accepts the bride (taking her name) in his marriage for the stipulated amount of marriage payment. The groom has to reply in complete terms such as, "I accept her in my marriage" or " I have accepted her in my marriage" or "I do marry her." It is preferable that he say this and not just "I do" or "I accept."

    10. The imam should then recite the followingdu'a,

    "Barak Allahu laka wa baraka alayka wa jama'a baynakuma bikhayr."

    May Allah bless you and have His blessing descend upon you and unite you in goodness.

    Thereafter, he will make other du'as for the couple and those present.

    11. It is then sunna the next day or the day after once the couple have consummated their marriage or entered into privacy together to provide a walima reception. This is provided by the groom and his family and is not a responsibility of the bride. The Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) providedwalima after many of his marriages by feeding the people a goat. Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) provided a walimaon the occasion of the consummation of his marriage with Zaynab bint Jahsh. He provided meat and bread to the fill off his guests (Bukhari). On the occasion of his marriage to Safiyya bint Huyay ibn Akhtab he even had what may be considered a "pot luck" nowadays in North America where each person brought what he had and they sat down together and ate it (Bukhari and Muslim).

    12. Some masjids and imams have the legal capacity to solemnize a marriage which is then recognized by the state, county or local council. This is extremely beneficial as it does not entail re-performing the marriage again in a civil ceremony.

    May Allah grant us the ability to simplify what Allah and His Messenger instructed to be simple and grant us blessing in it.

    Mufti Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf Mangera

    http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?id=2123
    What is destined will reach you, even if it be underneath two mountains. What is not destined, will not reach you, even if it be between your two lips


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    Default Re: nikah

    am confused with the whole situation.and have no choice but to say it in details,the man was brought to me and i said yes.then we arranged for a date for him to come to our house so that my dad can be asked.the man knew that i already said yes.so he came with two shiekhs to our house and my dad was there plus my uncle and a few women.so he asked my dad if he culd marry me!n my dad said yes.and they arranged a date for the nikah.

    then after one week my family changed there mind including my dad.and my dad called the man and told him to call things off meaning there is no nikah any more or wedding.BUT i didnt say no,cos i kept communicating with the man,n he used to send me money n i accepted it.

    then the man came to uk still communicating to him.and after a few months i came to uk as well,and we met again. i called my dad to ask himm permisiion to marry him and he said yes.BUT there was no nikah,he only paid me dowry n i went to live with him as wife.

    so he claims the nikah is not a must cos in his belief weve alredy done nikah and am halal to him.he says we did nikah when he came back home with the two sheikh.and wen we came here we called my dad to ask him again n he agreed.

    we have two children now.n its two year since then but i keep having doubts as to whether our marriage is valid or not.my husband doesnt want to know cos he thinks hes right and our marraige is valid.

    can someone plaese tell me a straight answer with evidence or proof.cos i cant live with these doubt anymore.


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    Default Re: nikah



    You should open up to a Sheikh in your local area, and tell him the exact words that were said in the presence of your dad and the two sheikhs. The nature of the exact words would be important.

    Plus, if it turns out that the nikah was not valid, simply do nikah again?



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    Default Re: nikah

    Quote Originally Posted by 'Abdullaah View Post


    You should open up to a Sheikh in your local area, and tell him the exact words that were said in the presence of your dad and the two sheikhs. The nature of the exact words would be important.

    Plus, if it turns out that the nikah was not valid, simply do nikah again?

    my husband doesnt want to do it again just to clear my conscious.right now we are not talking cos we had a very big fight about it.he claims hes right and if i think otherwise then i should stay away from him.he says i should ask for tawbahh for saying that our chldren r from zina.


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    Default Re: nikah

    Quote Originally Posted by nuru View Post
    my husband doesnt want to do it again just to clear my conscious.right now we are not talking cos we had a very big fight about it.he claims hes right and if i think otherwise then i should stay away from him.he says i should ask for tawbahh for saying that our chldren r from zina.
    did i do wrong to quesstion my marriage at these stage?cos my husband says am hurting him by saying that we are doing zina n the marraige is valid.


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    Senior Member muminah's Avatar
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    Default Re: nikah

    Quote Originally Posted by nuru View Post
    did i do wrong to quesstion my marriage at these stage?cos my husband says am hurting him by saying that we are doing zina n the marraige is valid.
    You don't need to tell him. Just ask a shaykh and the matter will be cleared. Don't use it as a point to argue.
    اللهم اني اسالك حبك و حب من يحبك والعمل الذي يبلغني حبك اللهم اجعل حبك احب الي من نفسي واهلي ومن الماء البارد

    يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي علي دينك


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    Default Re: nikah

    Quote Originally Posted by muminah View Post
    You don't need to tell him. Just ask a shaykh and the matter will be cleared. Don't use it as a point to argue.
    i have already asked two sheikh and they both told me to be on the safe side i need to do the nikah again.beacause some people beleive that was already a nikah,some people believe that was a proposal only.and i have already told him what i think plus the arguemet has other issues involved,i dont intend to mention it.bt the main part of the arguement was about my doubt about the marraige.


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    Senior Member Intrepid's Avatar
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    Default Re: nikah

    Quote Originally Posted by nuru View Post
    am confused with the whole situation.and have no choice but to say it in details,the man was brought to me and i said yes.then we arranged for a date for him to come to our house so that my dad can be asked.the man knew that i already said yes.so he came with two shiekhs to our house and my dad was there plus my uncle and a few women.so he asked my dad if he culd marry me!n my dad said yes.and they arranged a date for the nikah.
    If there was no proposal and acceptance in front of these people, then your nikah would not be considered valid. The proposal and acceptance must be in the present tense, such as "do you accept me as your husband/wife" not something like "will you accept me as your husband/wife," as the word "will" implies future tense, hence becomes an intention to marry him/her sometimes in the future.

    Quote Originally Posted by nuru View Post
    i have already asked two sheikh and they both told me to be on the safe side i need to do the nikah again.beacause some people beleive that was already a nikah,some people believe that was a proposal only.and i have already told him what i think plus the arguemet has other issues involved,i dont intend to mention it.bt the main part of the arguement was about my doubt about the marraige.
    Sister in front of two male witnesses, maybe his relatives or yours perhaps, on a day like Eid or any day when there is a gathering. Simply ask your husband "are you my husband" with others listening and if he replies "Yes" then your nikah would be done, even if it is done in a jovial manner. Its a simple way of doing your nikah without him being aware of it.

    Quote Originally Posted by nuru View Post
    did i do wrong to quesstion my marriage at these stage?cos my husband says am hurting him by saying that we are doing zina n the marraige is valid.
    No, personally I think its a good Idea to renew your wedding vows every so often, as there are numerous wrong doings (we Muslims conduct) which can nullify the marriage. However don't continue with the constant questions if it troubles your husband and leads to problems between you and him, seek advice from a knowledgeable cohort.
    Last edited by Intrepid; 11-08-2010 at 01:54 AM.
    What is destined will reach you, even if it be underneath two mountains. What is not destined, will not reach you, even if it be between your two lips


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