Chasing Away A Bad Temper

[AlHannah20]

As salamu alaikum waramatulahi wabarakatu

so, I have a friend who has a dificult time maintianing their temper. brothers and sisters, if you can, please post some inspiration here for me to send their way. Any quotes from the Qur'an or Sunnah or Hadiths specifically to ward off bad temper and inspire patience and kindness. Thank you very much.

Ramadan Mubarak to all

[qibla]

Assalaamoalaykum-w-w
This is a TJ narration so please take it with a pinch of salt. May Allah forgive me.
I once told someone that the Prophet SAW was dominated by his wives in his social life at home.
And he readily accepted this. They were shocked! coz they could not believe....so here goes (STE)
Once Umar RA was passing by the Prophets house and he heared the wives of the Prophet all scolding him. When he went in all of them kept quite. So Umar RA angrily rebuked them saying: "How come you are afraid of me and not the Prophet of Allah SAW"
" Our husband is gentle with us whilst you are harsh, O Umar!" was their reply.
I wish i could be the same too. InshaAllah - one day!

[Sulaiman84]

As salamu alaikum waramatulahi wabarakatu

so, I have a friend who has a dificult time maintianing their temper. brothers and sisters, if you can, please post some inspiration here for me to send their way. Any quotes from the Qur'an or Sunnah or Hadiths specifically to ward off bad temper and inspire patience and kindness. Thank you very much.

Ramadan Mubarak to all

Controlling one's anger is a praiseworthy quality that is mentioned in the Qur'an:

...(the people of Taqwa are also those) who swallow (suppress) their anger and who forgive people (forgive those who wrong them and act pleasantly with them). Allah loves those who do good (and will therefor forgive them and reward them).

Aali 'Imraan:134

Some advice taken from Ahadith on controlling anger.

• A person is considered strong by Rasulullah who controls himself when angry
• A person should keep silent if he becomes angry
• If in the state of anger, a person standing should sit or lay down (to minimize the possibility of causing harm)
• Anger comes from Shaitan. Shaitan is created from fire. So extinguish anger by making wudhu
• A person who retrains his anger Allah will restrain His punishment from him on the Day of Judgment

Other Tips

• Make the dhikr (remembrance) of Allah in abundance
• Pass your hand over the orphan's head and accompany the poor
• Stay in the state of wudhu
• Scholars of self reformation say if a person becomes angry easily or has a sharp tongue he should make istighfaar and durood abundantly.

This excerpt from Imam Ghazzali 's book, The Preaching of Islam hits the nail on the head:

On methods to control one's anger...

One of its cure is academic and the other is practical. The academic or theoretic cure for anger is that you should think why it occurs. It is clear that its reason is interfering in the Will of Allah because the person getting angry means why that work did not happen according to his wish and why it took place in accordance with the Will of Allah. Now, tell yourself if it foolish or not. Do you want to make the Will of Allah subordinate to yours? Keep in mind that even an atom cannot move without the command of Allah. Who are you to interfere in it and feel unpleasant?

Moreover, think what right I have over him and what is the right of Allah over me. What is Allah's conduct towards you and what treatment do you want to do with that person? It is quite clear that the person with whom you are getting angry; you are not his master, creator, or sustainer. You have not given him the life. Allah has right of every kind over you and you are His subject, slave and obliged in every way. In spite of all that, you commit many mistakes and faults against your Master and He Forgives and Forbears all of you in spite of His Favor and entitlement. If He punishes even a single fault, you will have no shelter. Your case is that, even though you have no right over anyone, you get enraged over trifles against your temperament and you get ready to eliminate him from this world. Is your obedience and pleasure more essential than that of Allah?

Imam Ghazzali also mentioned along the lines in that book, the object is not to completely finish anger but to channel it for the right cause and reasons (along with the conditions of how to apply anger) like becoming angry when the command of Allah is broken etc.

One Shaikh told me once,

A person who always gets angry is like a Shaitan and a person who never gets angry is like a donkey.

[rqsnnt]

As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu

Bukhari :: Book 4 :: Volume 54 :: Hadith 502
Narrated Sulaiman bin Surd:

While I was sitting in the company of the Prophet, two men abused each other and the face of one of them became red with anger, and his jugular veins swelled (i.e. he became furious). On that the Prophet said, "I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: 'I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan.' then all is anger will go away." Some body said to him, "The Prophet has said, 'Seek refuge with Allah from Satan."' The angry man said, "Am I mad?"


Salam