Marrying young children and teenagers: Recommended or just acceptable?

[tariqa]

We all know the Prophet (s) married a child and young lady.
But this was an exception to what he usually married
most of his wives were at the age of their greatest fertility and development

most teens are still developing
do you think that it is not recommended to marry a young at a very tender age or do you think it depends on the teen and how competent they really themselves?

if most teenagers arent competent, do you think its wrong for so many teenagers to be put in adult requiring situations? Should these acts be limited?
Do you think the reason young women in Arabia was married so early was because of the climate in that land?

does that not apply for us in lands where we do not have those same luxuries where young children develop much quicker?



if the teen is competent, how responsible is the teen for going out and getting a job and doing everything an adult does or are they still excused for their unavoidable physical developing natures?

[abulayl]

Do you think the reason young women in Arabia was married so early

it was only in arabia?

[DefendingIslam]

Historically speaking, the case has normally been for both males and females to marry early, since it is not known how many years they have left before they are unable to reproduce, either through some accident, death, etc. Even though the risk of death at childbirth was there, all traditional societies consider the benefits to outweigh the risks. I remember once reading that the prime age for a girl to have children (the time when she is most fertile) starts at 14, and that by the age of 30 the women has already lost 90% of her eggs. So traditional societies even if they had no clue about such scientific matter knew that the continuation of their society rested on marrying off their boys and girls at an early age, and it was definitely not an issue of Arabian lands alone.

Secondly, many young boys do work in their teenage years in many parts of the world, due to economic necessities and so forth. In my own country you will see boys near to puberty working in supermarkets and the like, ans the stories of boys staring to work at 13 or 14 are very many in many parts of the world, and it is not always a case of exploitation, but rather the need is there.

This is about the feritility and reproduction angle. However, we should also see that Islam considers sexual sins as the worst type of sins after associating partners with Allah. Whatever the arguments may be against or for early marriage in the context of reproduction, one cannot deny that the males and females will experience certain feelings inside of themselves and will look for ways to satisfy such desires.

Even if it is acceptable for many Muslim parents that their teenage boys satisfy their sexual desires through evil deeds, Islam does not accept such thinking, and considers that if marriage is the only way in which the sexual desires can be curtailed, then this is something to be given precedence over education and the like. This is in addition to the fact that the core education really does not need 12 years to be completed but can be completed in a much shorter time if the curriculum is arranged in a way which facilitates the Islamic considerations of the necessity of work and marriage.

Also, in the Western countries one finds teenage boys and girls together engaging in evil behaviors that should be only done in the context of marriage. Yet we do not find this huge condemnation for the teenage members of their own societies in that such acts will lead to potential pregnancy and health complications. There may be half-hearted attempts to stop teen pregnancy, but there will definitely not be any steps to prevent evil actions between teenagers, since even such societies know that feelings of lust do exist among teenagers... Islam has perfected the understanding of this matter by insisting that since such lust does occur, then marriage is the only way to satisfy such a lust and desire.

[O A M M A S C O T D]

Historically speaking, the case has normally been for both males and females to marry early, since it is not known how many years they have left before they are unable to reproduce, either through some accident, death, etc. Even though the risk of death at childbirth was there, all traditional societies consider the benefits to outweigh the risks. I remember once reading that the prime age for a girl to have children (the time when she is most fertile) starts at 14, and that by the age of 30 the women has already lost 90% of her eggs. So traditional societies even if they had no clue about such scientific matter knew that the continuation of their society rested on marrying off their boys and girls at an early age, and it was definitely not an issue of Arabian lands alone.

Secondly, many young boys do work in their teenage years in many parts of the world, due to economic necessities and so forth. In my own country you will see boys near to puberty working in supermarkets and the like, ans the stories of boys staring to work at 13 or 14 are very many in many parts of the world, and it is not always a case of exploitation, but rather the need is there.

This is about the feritility and reproduction angle. However, we should also see that Islam considers sexual sins as the worst type of sins after associating partners with Allah. Whatever the arguments may be against or for early marriage in the context of reproduction, one cannot deny that the males and females will experience certain feelings inside of themselves and will look for ways to satisfy such desires.

Even if it is acceptable for many Muslim parents that their teenage boys satisfy their sexual desires through evil deeds, Islam does not accept such thinking, and considers that if marriage is the only way in which the sexual desires can be curtailed, then this is something to be given precedence over education and the like. This is in addition to the fact that the core education really does not need 12 years to be completed but can be completed in a much shorter time if the curriculum is arranged in a way which facilitates the Islamic considerations of the necessity of work and marriage.

Also, in the Western countries one finds teenage boys and girls together engaging in evil behaviors that should be only done in the context of marriage. Yet we do not find this huge condemnation for the teenage members of their own societies in that such acts will lead to potential pregnancy and health complications. There may be half-hearted attempts to stop teen pregnancy, but there will definitely not be any steps to prevent evil actions between teenagers, since even such societies know that feelings of lust do exist among teenagers... Islam has perfected the understanding of this matter by insisting that since such lust does occur, then marriage is the only way to satisfy such a lust and desire.

completely agree with everything you have written here

i find this issue to be so important yet it angers me when i do not see it being addressed by the ulama and by the ummah. we need to recognize that sexual desire and urges start at 15/16 and not at 22.

many of our cultural parents do not have a strong grasp of the deen, in some cases they were married quite early themselves and furthermor they didn't live ina society where fitna is so widespread. all these problems mean they are often not in touch with the reality and do not recognize the burden that the libido poses to our young teenagers.

our parents who often have a cultural understanding plan things according to a time frame; school, college, university then we can marry him and get him settled down blah blah blah. in reality this life plan that they have mapped out for him is completely whack!!!!

in response to the original threadstarter i would definitely consider marrying before the person reaches 20. Especially if they are mature and seem to be of a good character. If they are educated and especially if they are from a good family i would discuss marriage openly with them.

may Allah (SWT) deliver us from ignorance and guid us to understanding.

:WS:

[AbdullahbinAbdullah]

Do not use relegious rule to justify an unwsie act.
In most modern culture, the concept of teenager is a western market driven invention. There was no such thing in 1940s. Someone who is 12 pulled their weights to bring food on their plate. They matured early. In some culture where western media hasn't impacted greatly where such concept hasn't taken hold, the rule of marrying early may still apply. But as a norm, most who tend to marry early in the modern times are not mentally matured enough and the high devorce rate proves this.
So consult with elders (not misogonist cultural type) and the wise men who know the situation before decidign to marry.

Allahualam

Good point.

There are many boys but few men
Many girls but few women
Age has nothing to do with maturity
Marrying someone who is not ready is also zulm
Sometimes the Zulm of an evil deed is less than the Zulm to a whole family unit

[tariqa]

it was only in arabia?

Who said it was?

[tariqa]

Historically speaking, the case has normally been for both males and females to marry early, since it is not known how many years they have left before they are unable to reproduce, either through some accident, death, etc. Even though the risk of death at childbirth was there, all traditional societies consider the benefits to outweigh the risks. I remember once reading that the prime age for a girl to have children (the time when she is most fertile) starts at 14, and that by the age of 30 the women has already lost 90% of her eggs. So traditional societies even if they had no clue about such scientific matter knew that the continuation of their society rested on marrying off their boys and girls at an early age, and it was definitely not an issue of Arabian lands alone.

Secondly, many young boys do work in their teenage years in many parts of the world, due to economic necessities and so forth. In my own country you will see boys near to puberty working in supermarkets and the like, ans the stories of boys staring to work at 13 or 14 are very many in many parts of the world, and it is not always a case of exploitation, but rather the need is there.

This is about the feritility and reproduction angle. However, we should also see that Islam considers sexual sins as the worst type of sins after associating partners with Allah. Whatever the arguments may be against or for early marriage in the context of reproduction, one cannot deny that the males and females will experience certain feelings inside of themselves and will look for ways to satisfy such desires.

Even if it is acceptable for many Muslim parents that their teenage boys satisfy their sexual desires through evil deeds, Islam does not accept such thinking, and considers that if marriage is the only way in which the sexual desires can be curtailed, then this is something to be given precedence over education and the like. This is in addition to the fact that the core education really does not need 12 years to be completed but can be completed in a much shorter time if the curriculum is arranged in a way which facilitates the Islamic considerations of the necessity of work and marriage.

Also, in the Western countries one finds teenage boys and girls together engaging in evil behaviors that should be only done in the context of marriage. Yet we do not find this huge condemnation for the teenage members of their own societies in that such acts will lead to potential pregnancy and health complications. There may be half-hearted attempts to stop teen pregnancy, but there will definitely not be any steps to prevent evil actions between teenagers, since even such societies know that feelings of lust do exist among teenagers... Islam has perfected the understanding of this matter by insisting that since such lust does occur, then marriage is the only way to satisfy such a lust and desire.

im saying the prophets (s) sunnah shows he did not get married until his mid twenties

and he married mostly women who were in their late teens and not their mid teens or early teens.