Fools

[nuke]

Well you guys have got to check this one out , really i have never laughed this much
for a while . I think we really need it here specially after all these useless debates !
Hats off to the brother who posted it ( its taken form 'book of fools' by Shaykh Ahmad Ali )

http://www.muftisays.com/forums/the-...ools.html?pg=1

Do tell me which one was your favourite ?

[Ali al-Hanafi]

This one's pretty funny:

Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal and Yahya ibn Ma'in (may Allah be pleased with them) once went into a certain Masjid to offer their Salah. After the Salah, a preacher began narrating hadiths attributed to these two Imams during his lecture. At the termination of his lecture, Yahya ibn Ma'in signalled the preacher with his hand to come over to them. Under the false impression that he was being summoned to be rewarded, he came over to them. Yahya asked, “Who narrated these hadiths to you?” Once again, he mentioned their names. This ignorant fool did not even know who he was talking to. Since these two personalities were very famous in the world of hadith, he had simply made use of their good names.
Yahya said, “I am Yahya ibn Ma'in and this is Ahmad ibn Hanbal. We did not narrate these hadiths to you nor have we ourselves heard them (from someone else). The preacher then asked, “So you are Yahya ibn Ma’in?”
“Surely that is me,” replied Yahya. Upon this, he commented, “I always heard that Yahya ibn Ma'in is a stupid fool but today this hearsay has been confirmed.”
“How is this confirmation possible?” asked Yahya. The preacher replied,
“How can you be under the impression that the names ‘Yahya ibn Ma'in and ‘Ahmad ibn Hanbal’ refer only to you two? I have heard hadiths from seventeen people by the names Yahya ibn Ma'in and Ahmad ibn Hanbal.” While this
was taking place, Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal covered his face out of grief while the lecturer brushed the whole incident off as a joke and vanished.

[Zainal]

Assalamualikum,

These ones are really funny

Once someone stole the door of Abu Salim's house. He in turn stole the door of the Masjid. "What are you doing?" the people asked. He replied "The owner of this door knows who stole my door."


Shuraih bin Yazeed relates that Saeed bin Sinan was a pious old man and the Muazzin of the Central Mosque of Himz. When he woke the People for Sheri during Ramadhan, he would announce, "O People prepare your pots and quickly eat your food before I give the Adhan and Allah turns your face black and you burn".


Asmaee relates a bedouin went for Hajj and entered Makkah before the people. Holding onto the cloth of the Ka'ba, he said "O Allah! Quickly forgive me before there is a rush".

A bedouin called Mujrim (criminal/sinner) came and stood in the first saf behind the Imam who was reciting Surah Mursalaat in Salah. When The Imam recited the verse"Did we not destroy the first" the bedouin went into the last saf. The Imam then recited "Then we shall destroy later ones". The bedouin then moved on and joined the middle saf. Finaly the Imam recited "This is how we deal with the Mijrims(sinners/criminals)". The bedouin left the Salah thinking that the Imam was after him.

A few people once discussing the night prayer (Tahajjud). Amongst these people was present a bedouin. They asked him do you get up at night (meaning do you read Tahajjud). He said Yes, so they asked him "What do you do?", he replied "I get up and urinate and go back to sleep."

[nuke]

okay here are the three i loved the most ...

Asmaee relates a bedouin went for Hajj and entered Makkah before the people. Holding onto the cloth of the Ka'ba, he said "O Allah! Quickly forgive me before there is a rush".

An Imam was reciting Surah Nuh in Salaah. He recited the verse tha translates, We have sent Nuh to his people. He forgot what came next, so he kept reciting the same words. A frustrated bedouin from behind exclaimed, "If Nuh is not going then send someone else. Why have you put us in difficulty?"

Jahiz writes that a woman told a teacher of her disobediant son and demanded that her son was disciplined by lessons of fear. The teacher had a very long beard. He placed the beard in his mouth, shook his head and began to scream loudly. This extremely scared the mother. Frightened, she remarked, "I told you to scare my child not me". He replied, "You fool, when the punishment of Allah comes, then the good and bad are all destroyed".

...... oi , i have understood the term ROFL for the first time today !
simply sidesplitting. I have tears in my eyes
May Allah reward the brother who posted these Ameen.

[Hubb-e-Ilahi]

A bedouin called Mujrim (criminal/sinner) came and stood in the first saf behind the Imam who was reciting Surah Mursalaat in Salah. When The Imam recited the verse"Did we not destroy the first" the bedouin went into the last saf. The Imam then recited "Then we shall destroy later ones". The bedouin then moved on and joined the middle saf. Finaly the Imam recited "This is how we deal with the Mijrims(sinners/criminals)". The bedouin left the Salah thinking that the Imam was after him.

This one made me smile more than others.

[gabriel]

These are all classics.
Apparently the author Ibn Juazi [it is not the famous ibn jauzi that we know of] wrote this so people would appreciate intellect.

[Abu_Tamim]

Well you guys have got to check this one out , really i have never laughed this much
for a while . I think we really need it here specially after all these useless debates !
Hats off to the brother who posted it ( its taken form 'book of fools' by Shaykh Ahmad Ali )

http://www.muftisays.com/forums/the-...ools.html?pg=1

Do tell me which one was your favourite ?

Sweet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMpXmpGpEF0

[Ali al-Hanafi]

Hajjaj bin Yusuf once feared the curse of some pious Ulema so he invited them to his place for a meal and fed them Haram food without them knowing it!

[dr76]

These are all classics.
Apparently the author Ibn Juazi [it is not the famous ibn jauzi that we know of] wrote this so people would appreciate intellect.

Allama ibn al jauzi has written the book ' kitaab uz zaka ' translated to ' lataif ilmiyya ' with preface from Hazrat Maulana Qari Muhammad Tayyab sb is this the one ur referring to..?

wa assalam..