Re: If you can't get married, what can you do?
I haven't read all the posts before writing my previous comment. Thank you tijaraat for your reply, it's wise, precious and useful, I'll preserve it... tempus fugit! =)Originally Posted by tijaarat
SA,
Adding to all the advice I would like to add something. Yes, its long.
Actually, You used the word "sanctimonious" in your post, so your english is not awful at all.
MashAllah! May Allah keep you steadfast. In reality these days, because of internet and computer, I think immoral values have been spread far and wide. It doesnt matter whether you are in europe and or even a muslim country. When I was visiting India, I spoke to young common villager, speaking to whom you would be suprised this guy who doesn't even live in city knows so much evil. Being practicing muslim is hard everywhere, maybe harder at your place. Even among muslims sometimes, a practicing muslim would feel like a complete stranger. What I am trying to say is clearly you are not alone in feeling that you are being misunderstood. And the feelings that you are going through, every practicing muslim across the globe has gone through or is going through them right now.
A lot of people have pointed that yourself to get married. If you get married, thats great as long you find someone suitable inshAllah. I don't know your personal situation or how your parents are. But I would like to point out many people don't realize the uniqueness of each individual's situation. Maybe your parents are of the opinion that you should get married only at this age. And until then no matter how much you explain or you get others to explain, they wont understand. And you can't all of a sudden go against your parents. Or maybe you just can't find the right brother. I personally know one really practicing brother who was looking for quite a long time just couldn't find someone and he wasn't being picky. Whatever it is, as long as you are making steps towards it even if they are baby steps to it (asking your parents politely and persuasively, making dua), thats good. And after taking all those steps, if you find in your situation all you can do is have patience. Then, have patience. In our religion, patience is highly praised upon. Lets be mature about it, in life, there is struggle even for Non-Muslims. There is no short cut to instant satisfaction.
I will tell you a story. My friend was very adamant that he needed to get married as soon as possible. His parents were against it for some time. In that time, he worried constantly, complained etc. Everytime I would meet him, he would always talk about his eagerness to get married. His worry was so much that his education was also affected. Today, alhum.., he is happily married and is a father. But he does have one regret that now since he is married, he is busy all the time. Today, he realizes the value of free time. He tells me that he wished before marriage that instead of worrying, day dreaming and complaining, he should have just used his time better.
Your goal to be a physician is great. No matter what! busy yourself with good, whether it is academic pursuits, doing sports, reading books or learning about the religion. No one wants to be a social outcast and being strong academically is very helpful. I am quoting a scholar when I am saying this. If you can use your position in this world to further the cause of Islam, then what can be better. I knew a brother who had a long beard and wore muslim hat. He was well known and respected among his non muslim peers in his engineering class. This is because he was very hard working, academically strong, participated in class all the time, close to the professors (professors liked him cause he was a good student) and help any student who needed help. Since many people would come to ask him questions, during that time he would take it an opportunity to give them dawah. This is reality that people would listen to us when we are some benefit to them.
Gain knowledge about the religion. How much of the Quran do you know? Have you learnt arabic? Are you involved in some form of dawah. Many scholars or infact Islam says being involved in dawah helps the inviter more than the invitee. This is the best solution for someone who has weak imaan or faith. You said you are living in italy. Maybe have a blog in italian with information about Islam. The summary of what I am trying to tell you is use your free time wisely. Don't leave time just to worry as five years down the road you will look back and say all that time i just sat worried and didnt do anything productive was a waste of time.
Maybe you can get access to the sisters section here and find someone who is living in Italy. Or maybe another sister from italy can pm the administrator.
May Allah help you!
I'll keep on thanking all of you for your comments.... you are always make me feel a bit more relieved when I read you!!!
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