Why are reverts seen as outsiders to "born muslims"??

[ummitaalib]

Thank you brother for your help .

I myself am still learning about Islam. Over the past 5 months I been trying to learn more about Islam. My friend does believe in ALLAH but she doesnt follow Islam in terms of halal eating etc but is a good person.

I want to inshALLAH help her read namaz and find her the turkish translation of the Quran. I worry that as I am still learning myself about Islam I may tell her something wrong...

assalaamu 'alaykum sister, masha Allah,may Allah reward you for your concern. I just checked and turkish translations are available online however i cannot say if any of them are correct i.e. translated by learned knowledgeable people. In LOndon theres an Islamaic shop called zamzam on Green street (E7) and I believe they sell Qur'an translations in many languages. Hope this helps and may Allah make you a means of guidance for your friend

[Shining_Star]

Thank you very much sister. I am trying to better myself islamically and if I can help my friend then she will also feel closer to ALLAH..I shall ring this shop and ask if they have one in turkish..

I wanted to ask other sisters about their experiences when they first wore the hijab. For the past 2 months, especially during Ramazan I have found myself feeling closer to ALLAH its a lovely feeling. I have been getting these good feelings (weird to explain it) when I see sisters who wear hijabs and have started seeing myself as someone who could wear a hijab. what I dont want to do is wear the hijab and then take it off , insHALLAH I want the hijab to become a part of me...

[Shining_Star]

This is an interesting thread. As a revert myself I can honestly say I have been through what the poster is speaking of before. The Marriage thing has been especially tricky for me. I gave up trying to marry a Muslim women after a while because its seen as a no no in many Masjids I've been to for a Revert to try and marry a Muslim women who was raised in an Islamic household. So I ended up marrying a Christian woman ( who agreed that if we were to have children I could raise them Muslim ), we never had any children and the religious differences led to us divorcing 4 Months ago after a few years of marriage. I would agree with the poster that its ironic that there is no issue or seems to be no issue with a "rasied" (I use this word instead of born since we are all born Muslim, hence the term revert ) Muslim man marrying a revert Sister, but it doesn't tend to go the other way. Also seeing as how reverts are a minority its not always easy for reverts to marry one another, for example at my Masjid most of the reverts are Brothers and the revert sisters have already been married to Arab or Pakistani men. Many of my friends finally got tired of living like a monk and did what I did and married a Christian woman. Their marriages all ended like mine, although in some cases there were children involved which is sad.

I think online marriage sites maybe the way to go for reverts instead of seeking out a Muslim wife from their local community. Often times you can seek out sisters whose families look at Islam as a way of Life for all mankind rather than something their ancestors did so they might as well do it too.

As for that alien feeling I find this varies from community to community. Often time raised Mulims tend to fall into one of 3 categories when they learn I'm a revert. 1.Stand Offish. 2.Aggressive ( these are the weirdest ones as they treat you like you are hijacking their religion by being Muslim, I have actually heard them tell reverts its not good to change your religion to Islam, basically telling them it would have been better to stay Christian. They also tend to ask reverts dumb questions that the revert never answers correctly even if he actually did answer it right. Its almost a way to try and turn them off of the deen and get them to go back to their old religion) 3.Good Muslim Brothers and Sisters who accept reverts and treat them like they would any other Muslim.


In my opinion if you are getting that alien feeling, you should try and relocate to a different Masjid ( if possible ). I would advise you to try and avoid Masjids that are too ethno-centric. Masjids that have one dominant ethnic group tend to have strange cultural practices that they call Islamic. Also these are the places where you are most likely to encounter un-Islamic attitudes towards reverts. The best Masjids are ones that are multi-ethnic, with lots of different colors of people and lots of different languages being spoken. In my area we have two all Pakistani Masjids, two all Black Masjids, one all Arab Masjid, and one multicultural Masjid. Its not surprising that in my area most of the Dawah work and programs for new Muslims and non-Muslims are coming from the Masjid with the multi ethnic congregation.

Its sad you have been treated like this. Not all born muslims have a problem with new muslims, its actually the parents most of the time. I can speak for myself, I have no problem with a revert/ new muslim. Its very sad you have encountered such prejudice.

[ummitaalib]

I wanted to ask other sisters about their experiences when they first wore the hijab. For the past 2 months, especially during Ramazan I have found myself feeling closer to ALLAH its a lovely feeling. I have been getting these good feelings (weird to explain it) when I see sisters who wear hijabs and have started seeing myself as someone who could wear a hijab. what I dont want to do is wear the hijab and then take it off , insHALLAH I want the hijab to become a part of me...

This is how I felt....

A LETTER TO MY SISTER-IN-ISLÃM
My dear sister-in-Islãm,
Assalãmu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakãtuh.

I would like to share with you my experiences of putting on the ‘DREADED VEIL’. You see, I too was afraid to put it on. I was afraid of the changes it would bring in my life, the inconveniences, the ridicule from the ignorant ones on the streets and of course, the reactions of my family members and friends.

I knew what Allah’s Command was on this matter, however, Shaytãn and Nafs, as helpful as ever, brought a lot of important matters to my attention. “It's going to be so awkward at the bar-b-ques and other social gatherings”, said the knowledgeable Nafs. How are you going to eat at restaurants, and what about holidays and fun days out?” prompted the Shaytãn. “You will miss out on so much!” they both whispered, “Leave it. It will be easier this way!”

However, Allah, Allah the All-Powerful, Allah the Most Patient, Allah the Most Merciful, Who had been watching while I transgressed every law of hijãb you could think of, and who had been waiting ever so patiently while I disobeyed the laws sent down in His Book, through His infinite Mercy put a spark of light in my heart, which grew till I had no choice, but to put on the oh-so-dreaded piece of cloth on my face.

My dear beloved sister, no one told me of the deep sense of happiness I would feel. No one told me I would walk down the street dressed in black from head to toe and still feel like a million dollars. No one told me how special it would make me feel.

It didn't matter that many of my friends were not so friendly any more, or that my female relations took offence because I was hiding from their husbands and sons, or that my husband was not exactly over the moon about it. Conversations became stilted, social gatherings became awkward, but my heart knew a peace it hadn't known before. The feeling of being chosen and gifted remains with me even today.

Try it my dear sister-in-Islãm. You won't know till you try it. When the Pleasure of Allah touches your heart you won't ever want to go without the ‘DREADED VEIL’,
Inshã’allah!

Wassalãm.

Your Sister-in-Islãm.
©Islāmic Da‘wah Academy (Da‘wah Series 35)

[seekingFamily]

salam alykom,

I'm a brother living in morocco, you have just to see the takbir and how poeple are happy in the mosque when someone revert to islam.

As a born muslim, I can't describe to you the love that we feel for our brothers and sisters that they reverted to islam.

Personaly I have three reveted friends, me and my friends we supported them from the first time we made their knowledge.I realy miss my reveted friend abdu Allah coz he traveled to egypt.An advise don't wait that your brothers and your sisters to come to you, take the initiative to talk to them.

As a single brother looking for a spouse, I will be proud to marry a revert sister.

Ramadan Mubarak.

[Anyahraheel]

i am a revert and i am also married to a muslim man who was born muslim and i find it difficult to be accepted in the muslim community and even by my husbands family because i am a revert

[bukhur]

I don't know why 'born Muslims' are getting so much hate here. Converts are often no better; oftentimes they end up thinking of themselves as 'better' because they came to Islam from another place. We need to remember that Iman is a gift from Allah and it can be here one second and gone the next if He wills; we are nothing, we are the slaves on the world that means less to Allah than a mosquito's wing. We are not special for coming to Islam any more than 'born Muslims' are special for being born that way; because no matter what it happened that way because Allah willed it.

Yes, some Muslims reduce you, some explain simple concepts to you, but I have realized that you must assume that they're doing it out of awe (in the first case) and out of love (in the second). People are people and they'll have flaws wherever they go. Their flaws are not important to you that you should spend all day obsessing about them. Yours are. Fix them. Work for the Ummah however you're able, work for your community, work for your brothers and sisters, no matter whether they look at you funny or not. Make your heart your community if your community will not accept you, and they will.

Just this weekend I came back from an aqeeqah; a Latino brother marrying a Guyanese sister. Allah gave them a beautiful son named Yacub; their families get along well (despite most of the Latino brothers' family being Catholic and hostile to Islam, the child has thawed them to a great extent ). All my brothers speak on these matters the same way; this culture spoken of will change slowly as we remain in these Western enclaves. We will be different (assuming we do not make hijrah). Our sons will be different; we will know the wisdom of our parents as well as the missteps, and develop our own wisdom and make our own missteps; perhaps we will liberalize (naudhubillah) or perhaps we will fall victim to the West's raised sword. Allahu aalim.

Be well, be safe, and be wise.

Spot on brother...well said.

[umm_yamsz]

Assalaamu Alaykum,

Revert here.. I wanted to say that I really think it's not the born Muslim : Revert Muslim idea that is the issue. I believe all of the issues rather, as in most cases, fall back on the fact that we all, collectively as an Ummah, have allowed the basic practices of our deen to not develop or to escape. I'm saying, we don't have good conduct, manners, understanding, or good knowledge of a few basic principles.

Muslims are all on their own unique journey, and unfortunately some kind of aren't desiring to be on it all of the time. So this explains the various treatment and behavior. Imaan has its ups and downs for all people. Sometimes we feel so deeni-gized and other times we feel slightly hopeless. We have to learn to balance these emotions which come and it takes time to develop this skill. It is sad that you've had some bad experiences.

Before I got married, I felt slightly awkward whereas other unmarried born Muslims didn't feel this. I didn't feel like I belonged as naturally as they did. I couldn't relate to them or the various mixtures of cultures - or languages! But after marriage, everything changed. I did leave American culture and adopt the deen though. This is a very difficult process honestly - in the deepest of ways.

In the meantime, be strong and develop your understanding of the deen much more. Enroll in some online classes, gain knowledge, reach out in other ways if the local community isn't so welcoming. Make dua for them and overlook their deficiencies. iA We all have them, but the best approach is through dua and patience.

One thing I learned early on was that not everyone wasn't so...enthusiastic as I was at that point in my life so we have to take it easy on people.

As for the marriage issue. It is in a woman's best interest for herself and her coming family iA to marry someone who taqwa and who can guide the family correctly in this world. This means not just having proper academic knowledge of secular studies but even more importantly is deeni knowledge, correct knowledge and practice. It is actually the husband's duty for which he will be accountable for on the Day of Judgement. He is responsible for his flock so to speak as it comes in Hadith. The woman is also responsible for herself and children, but the man has extra duties of educating the entire family and guiding them towards Allah swt. We can't really look at a person "Categorically" and say born Muslim men are better than Revert men so we have to always be careful and judge on a presenting, individual basis. The same goes for when a man is to marry a woman. He should look for the woman who can best nourish the household in all of the ways similarly.

We also have to realize that our exposure to variation and being able to decide the whatevers and whenevers have always been possible for us, especially us living in the U.S. Our culture is so extremely open and accepting of all sorts of (good and bad) things so we can hardly relate to anything close minded. Even those who've moved here aren't so keen in allowing 'so' much change. They feel more protective of their traditions. I don't blame them for feeling very nervous about marrying a revert man. Women are viewed differently as they are often seen as more moldable and more able to influence. A woman's innate nature is very different than a man, which give way to her needing someone stronger than her in the deen and more able to bring the values home and keep them there. Basically parents outside of American culture are quite different than ours. The family systems are very different. This is a big subject. There is good and bad but basically I believe parents really want to try to do the best they can with whatever knowledge they have for their children and their future. And as I stated earlier, there is a big deficit of knowledge of Islam and practice of Islam. So, we just have to be patient with each other and make dua.

Marriage is by Allah swt. iA go in the right direction from the depths of your heart and iA iA Allah swt will arrange someone wonderful for you who can guide you and be your special helper in the deen. In the meantime, if you have time to take some classes, I'd recommend that. Learn how to pray, how to read in Arabic, perform essential duties etc. Use this special time for inner and outer growth. May Allah enclose you in His special protection on His path. aameen.

[ILM_Sika]

Salaam

Didn't Islam start with reverts? What's with all the hate? Isn't being the world's GREATEST religion followers enough, and that we get hate from all sides. that now we should be hating on one another now? Come on.... wtfitna are we trying to create here?

LIVE ISLAM

BREATH ISLAM

DRINK .. MANGO LASSI

Case dismissed. NEXT!

[bukhur]

Dear sister,
My reply to the brother was not an approuval of all what he stated but some of the points mentioned were, therefore sorry if I offended you. I do understand where you come from as in my case it was the other way around i.e. born a muslim and married a revert, I think you should not consider what other people think about you as long as Allah(swt) knows what's inside your heart, that's really the most important thing in our path towards Janaa inshallah, if they don't accept you then I question their faith? Islam is about love and acceptance and making others feel safe and happy on your presence despite our differences. [I] hope your husband is good to you. Remember the most important thing is the acceptance and blessing of Allah(swt), may he bless you always sister.