Modesty

[annalina]

Hi I am Christian but not very religious. I would like to ask a question: whenever I see a covered woman, especially young woman in the streets, I aks myself: I admire her faith, but does she never want to feel sexy and wear tight clothing? The concept seems so strict to me. I would appreciate your answer. Thank you.

[PouringRain]

Hi I am Christian but not very religious. I would like to ask a question: whenever I see a covered woman, especially young woman in the streets, I aks myself: I admire her faith, but does she never want to feel sexy and wear tight clothing? The concept seems so strict to me. I would appreciate your answer. Thank you.

Hello, Annalina! Welcome to the forum. I am also a Christian woman, and although your question is posed to muslim women, I could answer your question as well. For me, the answer would be, "No, I never feel a need to 'feel sexy and wear tight clothing'." If wore something that exposes my body outside then I feel exposed, naked. I certainly do not feel sexy. It also attracts unwelcome attention. Personally, I am not a fan of having men ogle me. They can do their ogling elsewhere! A woman's beauty should be for her husband. I can appreciate my beauty at home, and feel sexy in the privacy of my home. I do not need the attention of strange men to make me feel sexy. That type of attention only makes me feel ugly. I would much rather have a man attracted to me for who I am inside, rather than for what I look like on the outside.

Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."

I know you said you are not very religious, but you might find it interesting to look up verses on modesty in the Bible.

[Quraatulain]

Hi I am Christian but not very religious. I would like to ask a question: whenever I see a covered woman, especially young woman in the streets, I aks myself: I admire her faith, but does she never want to feel sexy and wear tight clothing? The concept seems so strict to me. I would appreciate your answer. Thank you.

Hi and welcome to the forum,please continue to post and hope to see you around

A Muslim woman dresses the way she does to conceal her beauty and her body from the lustful gazes of men.She dresses modestly not to "look or feel sexy",but to protect her honor and dignity as a Muslim woman. The concealing clothing she wears also liberates the Muslim woman, and she is then automatically respected for her mind instead of her body. Simply put, she retains her dignity! It is like saying: I am a respectful woman. I am not for every man to look at, touch, or speak to. I am protected, exactly like a precious white pearl which, if touched by everyone, will become black and dirty.

Modesty is an essential quality for a true Muslim and it is part of faith .

إن لكل دين خلقا وخلق الإسلام الحياء

“Verily in every religion there is morality, the morality of Islam is modesty”. (Sunan Ibn Majah)

In our homes and in enclosed environment where there are women only or close male relatives we confine to a different dress code.The clothing you see us wear is for out doors and when they are strange men around.

A Muslim woman is allowed to dress in whatever she wishes (she can feel sexy and wear tight clothing)for her husbands eyes only in private,she is encouraged to do so as they are many rewards and blessings for her to dress in an appealing way for her husband and not for anyone else.

[muslimah266]

An analogy.
"One day, a brilliantly beautiful and fragrant flower with attractive colors met a pearl that lives far in the bottom of the sea and has none of these characteristics. Both got acquainted with each other.

The flower said: "Our family is large; roses and daisies are members of the family. And there are many other species that are various and countless; each has a distinctive scent, appearance etc."

Suddenly, a tinge of distress appeared on the flower. The pearl asked."Nothing accounts for sorrow in your talk; so why are depressed?"

"Human beings deal with us carelessly; they slight us. They don't grow us for our sake but to get pleasure from our fragrance and beautiful appearance. They throw us on the street or in the garbage can after we are dispossessed of the most valuable properties; brilliance and fragrance."

The flower sighed. And then the flower said to the pearl: "Speak to me about your life! How do you live? How do you feel it? You are buried in the bottom of the sea."

The pearl answered: "Although I have none of your distinctive colors and sweet scents, humans think I am precious. They do the impossible to procure me. They go on long journeys, dive deep in the seas searching for me. You might be astounded to know that the further I lay, the more beautiful and brilliant I become.

That's what upraises my value in their thought. I live in a thick shell isolated in the dark seas. However, I'm happy and proud to be in a safe zone far from wanton and mischievous hands and still the humans consider me highly valuable."

Do you know what the flower and the pearl symbolize?

Think, Think, Think...

You will find that: The flower is the unveiled woman (who shows her charms) and the pearl is the veiled woman (who conceals her beauties."

[janaveronikazahra]

Hi,
I can tell you only one thing as I am reverted muslimah and I used to dress very sexy before.
I noticed immediately the difference in perception of myself and how men approaches me. I noticed that `normal`men do not care that much, they consider you as normal woman, appreciating that they are not disturbed by open calling sexuality. And the minority of men who only go for sex, with sick desire - you dont need to care about them any more, which liberates significantly.
The wearing hijab multiplies this feeling of free and real expression, if woman tries to wear hijab - I am almost sure - she will never be willing to give up of wearing it.

Yes it liberates a lot. You can imagine yourself like worthful gem, you don need to break into pieces and offer to all - what it is only for you and your husband.

Take care!

[kadijah1004]

Muslim women can wear tight and sexy things, under their abyahs! With everything else, don't judge a book by it's cover.

[annalina]

Wow. So many replies in not even 24 hours. Thank you all very much! It is indeed difficult for us Western women to understand your firm beliefs. I dare say that looks are super important, sometimes even more important than who you are. I am so used to judging everyone for their looks and being judged by everyone and of course, looking the best possible all the time, that I appreciate your explanations. When men compliment me on my looks in the streets I feel flattered and valued, I guess there lies a big cultural difference.
I am eager to learn and thus understand more. However, to be frank, I do not like the pictue I saw already several times: the (un)covered lollipop and the flies. It is too graphic and I think neither women appreciate the comparison with lollipos (well, I don't) and I'm certain so won't men who are compared to flies, well, at least not the men I know.

If any of you would like to continue posting, I would further like to ask, what you think when you see non covered or even sexy or sensual women. Do you think about them or even judge them? Or do you accept their beliefs and in return just would like to be accepted as who you are? Also, I have heard some Western, non-Muslim men complain that a covered woman is like an insult to them: they feel that these women automatically judge them as an over-sexual being who will just lust after her sexuality. They were complaining of being judged by the women, of being treated like apes ... I guess they find them too extreme. Of course they are used to being around uncovered women. What do you think about that? I appreciate your thoughts and thank you again for your efforts!

[abdulwahhab]

Wow. So many replies in not even 24 hours. Thank you all very much! It is indeed difficult for us Western women to understand your firm beliefs. I dare say that looks are super important, sometimes even more important than who you are. I am so used to judging everyone for their looks and being judged by everyone and of course, looking the best possible all the time, that I appreciate your explanations. When men compliment me on my looks in the streets I feel flattered and valued, I guess there lies a big cultural difference.
I am eager to learn and thus understand more. However, to be frank, I do not like the pictue I saw already several times: the (un)covered lollipop and the flies. It is too graphic and I think neither women appreciate the comparison with lollipos (well, I don't) and I'm certain so won't men who are compared to flies, well, at least not the men I know.

If any of you would like to continue posting, I would further like to ask, what you think when you see non covered or even sexy or sensual women. Do you think about them or even judge them? Or do you accept their beliefs and in return just would like to be accepted as who you are? Also, I have heard some Western, non-Muslim men complain that a covered woman is like an insult to them: they feel that these women automatically judge them as an over-sexual being who will just lust after her sexuality. They were complaining of being judged by the women, of being treated like apes ... I guess they find them too extreme. Of course they are used to being around uncovered women. What do you think about that? I appreciate your thoughts and thank you again for your efforts!

It is inherent in us males to be attracted to women. Men who say that they do not feel anything when they see a woman who is uncovered and wearing provocative clothing are lying or are of a different sexual persuasion.

It is not a matter of political correctness, but a matter of basic male biology. Men have a higher libido than women. Men can be aroused without even being stimulated. And when there is a stimulant, even the smallest of stimulants can cause an unbalanced response in men.

Muslim men have their outlet in their wives. Non-Muslim men resort to evils such as pornography, masturbation, prostitutes, extra-marital relationships, sodomy, etc. That is not to say that Muslim men are free of these evils, but there is a disproportionate number of non-Muslims interested in these evils than there are Muslims. The rate of rape is also lower in Muslim countries than it is in non-Muslim countries - even factoring in the claim that many rape cases go unreported in Muslim countries. Now, many women take it as an offense and feel that they are blamed when this argument is brought up, but the fact remains, men are physiologically hypersexual in comparison to women. Even the smallest of stimulants can lead to disproportionate responses and a man who is otherwise normal may become a rapist.

[verdana]

If any of you would like to continue posting, I would further like to ask, what you think when you see non covered or even sexy or sensual women. Do you think about them or even judge them?

Although every man can be attracted by a beautiful woman biologically, Islam teaches us to cast our glances down when we see, or about to see, strange women. Instead, we confine our such natural desires to the privacy of homes, with our lawful wives. Thus we don't stare at any women outside with feelings of lust as we consider them to be someone else wife, daughters, or mothers who deserve as much respect as our own female relatives.

Sometimes I personally feel very pity towards them. How I wish they knew the truth, the real purpose of their lives and what their Creator wants from them.. and I pray that one day they will.

[Aspirer]

Wow. So many replies in not even 24 hours. Thank you all very much! It is indeed difficult for us Western women to understand your firm beliefs. I dare say that looks are super important, sometimes even more important than who you are. I am so used to judging everyone for their looks and being judged by everyone and of course, looking the best possible all the time, that I appreciate your explanations. When men compliment me on my looks in the streets I feel flattered and valued, I guess there lies a big cultural difference.

What are you being valued for when someone wolf-whistles at you from a construction site?
What will you be valued for in twenty or thirty years, when you no longer inspire wolf-whistles from this construction site, if this is how you judge and what you judge by, and what you are judged by? Who will judge you in twenty or thirty years when you struggle by, the weight of time on your shoulders, who was once valued for her looks and now has none, while the young woman, who believes not in the power of time to draw men and women closer and closer to the waiting arms of their graves where we all one day will go, will stare at you, and judge you?

In your equation, what recourse has the one who is not naturally well-looking, or who has deformities, or qualities of the face that linger despite attempts to root them out- a stubborn mustache-shadow clinging to the lip, or a limp, or any of the various other problems that would render them ugly or un-sightful?

I am eager to learn and thus understand more. However, to be frank, I do not like the pictue I saw already several times: the (un)covered lollipop and the flies. It is too graphic and I think neither women appreciate the comparison with lollipos (well, I don't) and I'm certain so won't men who are compared to flies, well, at least not the men I know.

If any of you would like to continue posting, I would further like to ask, what you think when you see non covered or even sexy or sensual women. Do you think about them or even judge them? Or do you accept their beliefs and in return just would like to be accepted as who you are? Also, I have heard some Western, non-Muslim men complain that a covered woman is like an insult to them: they feel that these women automatically judge them as an over-sexual being who will just lust after her sexuality. They were complaining of being judged by the women, of being treated like apes ... I guess they find them too extreme. Of course they are used to being around uncovered women. What do you think about that? I appreciate your thoughts and thank you again for your efforts!

This is strange. It is an insult to them, that they cannot see other women's hair? Where is it in the Constitution that men have a right to look at other women's hair, or legs, or arms, or anything that she doesn't want them to see?

Ask them why they perceive it as an insult. It is not about them, it is never about others or it is not done rightly; just as a Muslim brother who grows a beard so others will say 'look how pious he is with his big beard' is truthfully sinning in an icing-thin layer of piety, so too is the Muslim woman who wears a headscarf for reasons of others, of the thoughts of others. The wisdom in this is that it is from our Lord; and if we do anything for another reason then we do it wrong.

It would be quite strange if our religion forbade us from looking at our own women, but then we went around staring at uncovered Western women while thinking 'those vile Western women, how dare they force me to stare at them.' At most, it is inconvenient in a crowd where I must look straight down to avoid staring at legs or faces. If I spent all day thinking about the problems of others, what time would I have for working on my own self?