Introvert child..What to do?

[saihah]

all Eid Mubarak!

We are very worried about our 3 1/2 yr old nephew. He is very shy and introvert outside home. Today during taraweeh prayers, some kids got nasty with him and beat him, and my nephew just stood there. We always tell him to not take any beating but he just keeps quite. He is a very active kid at home mashAllah and very smart but outside he is completely opposite; he hardly talks or plays.

My brother and sister-in-law are very worried about him. Do you have any tips or suggestions? How did you/do you cope up with an introvert kid?

[Taliban1]

He'll grow up in time insha'Allah.

[Salikah Muslimah]

Wa 'alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

Well I have been an introvert all my life, although not so much now al hamdu lillah. I think it is real important that he be given love and mercy. Never force him to open up, my elders did that and there was a lot of crying, pain and etc, emotional bruises which still exist (hence I am writing). He is still very little mashaa Allah and there is a lot of time to wean him out of it inshaa Allah. Encourage him slowly slowly, first make sure he is giving his salams and tell him to be cheerful when doing so. This might take time, but inshaa Allah he will get there, for me when I greeted anybody I was much more comfortable to start a conversation. You ask him questions, like "how are you?", please believe no kid like that does not want to be talked to, he yearns to socialize but he just can't do it for the moment, so slowly slowly increase your questions and encourage him to answer such questions. Once he can answer questions, encourage him to try and ask questions, don't force him but entice him tell him to say bismillah as well and tell him to just go for it. Honestly, I believe this must be tackled right from the start because now I can hardly socialize with my own external family. I never learnt how to properly do so, my parents weren't supportive and I was made to feel like a loser, I would constantly get the other relatives talking that I am rude etc, whereas I just couldn't vocalise my pain. That's why I am more open with my Islamic sisters and immediate family only. I find love and harmony there, I am not subjected to the scrutiny of my own external family- although I am trying, but it's hard. Nonetheless, I am thankful to Allah because my extreme shyness means I will definitely not free mix inshaa Allah, I can escape excessive talk and backbiting at times so I am not complaining Al hamdu Lillah

[Taliban1]

Contrary to what most people think, an introvert is not simply a person who is shy. In fact, being shy has little to do with being an introvert! Shyness has an element of apprehension, nervousness and anxiety, and while an introvert may also be shy, introversion itself is not shyness. Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people.

Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. After being with people for any length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to "recharge."

From this definition, I think introverts will be great Naqshbundis

[saihah]

Wa 'alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

Well I have been an introvert all my life, although not so much now al hamdu lillah. I think it is real important that he be given love and mercy. Never force him to open up, my elders did that and there was a lot of crying, pain and etc, emotional bruises which still exist (hence I am writing). He is still very little mashaa Allah and there is a lot of time to wean him out of it inshaa Allah. Encourage him slowly slowly, first make sure he is giving his salams and tell him to be cheerful when doing so. This might take time, but inshaa Allah he will get there, for me when I greeted anybody I was much more comfortable to start a conversation. You ask him questions, like "how are you?", please believe no kid like that does not want to be talked to, he yearns to socialize but he just can't do it for the moment, so slowly slowly increase your questions and encourage him to answer such questions. Once he can answer questions, encourage him to try and ask questions, don't force him but entice him tell him to say bismillah as well and tell him to just go for it. Honestly, I believe this must be tackled right from the start because now I can hardly socialize with my own external family. I never learnt how to properly do so, my parents weren't supportive and I was made to feel like a loser, I would constantly get the other relatives talking that I am rude etc, whereas I just couldn't vocalise my pain. That's why I am more open with my Islamic sisters and immediate family only. I find love and harmony there, I am not subjected to the scrutiny of my own external family- although I am trying, but it's hard. Nonetheless, I am thankful to Allah because my extreme shyness means I will definitely not free mix inshaa Allah, I can escape excessive talk and backbiting at times so I am not complaining Al hamdu Lillah

Sister,

for taking the time and for your beautiful advice. I can relate to what you are saying to a ceratin extent because both me and brother are introverts but not as much as Umar Abdullah, my nephew. Like you said, these things are to be started early and that's why we are a little worried. I like your suggestion to start with baby steps. I guess sometimes we do tend to push our kids to talk and this may create a viscious cycle eventually. for the advice sister

[saihah]

From this definition, I think introverts will be great Naqshbundis

brother, inshaAllah that will be a great blessing from Allah swt. Please make dua for him, he is an exceptionally smart kid mashaAllah

[Zahed]

It's a great blessing from Allaah that he is introvert. If he would be like my cousin (violent) then all of you would face a lot of complains from other parents for beating their children.

My nephew is "Batman". He often attacks me violently (I'm the villain) with his weapons. Sometimes I've to call rescue team (his parents) to save me!

[saihah]

My nephew is "Batman". He often attacks me violently (I'm the villain) with his weapons. Sometimes I've to call rescue team (his parents) to save me!

hehe...my nephew's superhero traits are a little messed up right now, he too plays superman at home but is usually the victim outside Maybe a while before the radiation kicks in!

[Salikah Muslimah]

From this definition, I think introverts will be great Naqshbundis

Quite coincidentally I am an introvert and I do naqshbandi dhikr...on the tareeqah...

[saihah]

Quite coincidentally I am an introvert and I do naqshbandi dhikr...on the tareeqah...

SubhanAllah sister, may Allah help my nephew channel his energies in the right direction too, ameen.