ANSWERED: correction to someone about a name

[UmmIbrahimIsa]

Assalamu alaikum wr wb

OK I got a problem well I didn't think it was really much of a problem before but now I think about it, perhaps I could find a way or perhaps you can advise me a way to handle this insha'Allah.

A friend of my husband, a revert would call the house often to talk to my husband, but the thing is I dont think he knows my name properly. He'll always end up calling me something else totally different. I tried to tell him a few times that my name is "so and so" yet he'll still insist on calling me something totally different. I told my husband to perhaps maybe tell him in a nice way my real name or the way to pronounce it and he keeps forgetting or says that its not really good adaab and since he's new he just doesnt understand that I shouldn't be addressed this way, and just call me UmmIbrahimIsa instead. But it gets very ackward in times when he does call or if he attends the dars and he calls me a totally different name and i dont respond cuz its not my name, and he thinks its rude of me.. yet i dont know how to really say it without offending him or how to tell someone to tell him without him getting offended.
any help would be appreciated, wouldnt ask if it wasn't a problem...
jazakuAllahkhairun.

[Saleel]

Is the brother married? Or does he have any sisters? If so, you could speak to them, and tell them your concerns, and ask them to pass on your concerns to the brother?

Or, how about next time he comes, you get your husband to call out the name you would like the revert brother to refer to you by quite loudly in his presence, several times.

Or, the next time he rings, and you pickup, get your husband to come close to the phone and say, "who is it <name you would prefer to be called by the revert brother>?" loudy, so the revert brother hears this?

Failing all that, you could just wear a name badge in his presence?

I think they're all quite subtle (apart from the first one). Not sure if they're much help, but they may work?

[Raeesa]

subtle name badge.. lol

above suggestions are good alhamdulilah...

i can understand the awkwardness... maybe u can just find an easier name for him to remember and one that u can respond to without him finding it rude and u not realising that yr being referred to?

[Mossy]

Just tell him to call you bob. After all, what's in a name?

[UmmIbrahimIsa]

Assalamu alaikum wr wb

mossy> lol. hmm will have to think about it insha'Allah if no other alternatives work then not a bad idea.. perhaps then he might realize and say wait your name isnt bob what is it for real?

raeesa> well the easier name would be for him to just call me UmmIbrahimIsa because that's what all the brothers here refer me as or as the wife, or the Queen of the House.

i'll have to respond to saleel's as i go along...insha'Allah. con't in next post

[UmmIbrahimIsa]

Is the brother married? Or does he have any sisters? If so, you could speak to them, and tell them your concerns, and ask them to pass on your concerns to the brother?

Assalamu alaikum wr wb

Nope, he's not married... he's a bachelor, in his 40's..he became a muslim over 2 yrs ago. No sisters known at this time as he lives alone.
havent met his family so hard to talk to them...

Or, how about next time he comes, you get your husband to call out the name you would like the revert brother to refer to you by quite loudly in his presence, several times.

well tried to get my husband to call me by my name but usually he'll say UmmIbrahimIsa, or i think a couple of times he did say my name but i dont think he heard him say it so he ended up calling me the other name which isnt my name. my husband said that it would be bad manners or rude for this bro to even call me by my name and that he should call me by UmmIbrahimIsa and that's it, and im like that would be fine with me too but whenever he calls to talk to you he'll say 'oh assalamu alaikum aminah' when my name isnt aminah...its hina... yup it rhymes...but its different meaning and its like saying hey Gina, Bina, Lina when its a different name. If I respond to that he'll assume that's my name and keep calling me that which I think that's the problem cuz I did tell him that its Hina but i dont think he heard it and still calls me that.

Or, the next time he rings, and you pickup, get your husband to come close to the phone and say, "who is it <name you would prefer to be called by the revert brother>?" loudy, so the revert brother hears this?

that didnt work either, cuz my husband picked up the phone and said i got it Hina and still i dont think it clicked.. i think he might have heard it as Aminah.
because still he'll refer it as that.

Failing all that, you could just wear a name badge in his presence?
I think they're all quite subtle (apart from the first one). Not sure if they're much help, but they may work?

Ahh nametag... Though the others would be like what's with the name tag and say it isnt necessary. Especially since I'm not sitting in their presence, men are in their own side and women on another. Just those moments when he calls on the phone and when he comes in or leaves he'll say 'assalamu alaikum ameenah. or walaikum assalam ameenah.' and im like 'it's hina.. my name's hina... and still he'll be like ameenah...
either he cant pronounce it and he's trying to and its coming out as that or that he cant hear me or hears me as saying ameenah and is trying to do it with an H in the middle of it like ameeheena or something like that.
sorry..
might have to really to wait till my kids get back and get them to yell at my name, not mommy but my name for him to get it or perhaps get my older son to talk to him and say hey my mommy's name is not ameenah....with an A but Hina with an H, and spell it for him that way maybe he wont feel bad.
hmm maybe that's what I'll do....insha'Allah
jazakuAllahkhairun for the tips...

[phoenix]

Assalamalikum,
He cant pronouce 'hina'???!!! Well sis, for a person who cant pronounce a simple name as that, there is only one thing you can do. Tell him your name is 'Pehalwan Momin Khandelwala' . I am sure he will want to stick to Hina then.

If nothing else works then He can call you Mrs. "yor husband's name' right?

Wassalam

[UmmIbrahimIsa]

Assalamu alaikum wr wb

LOL.

I did talk to my husband about it. I told him as we were talking about the weekend plans and I said be sure to call so and so and make sure if you can tell him in a nice way without offending him my name. Then he's like its not really necessary is it? and im like yes it is cuz when he calls for you he calls me a totally different name and my hubby is like well he's not even pronouncing the other name as the right way and im like hey, hello...
so then i said ok i'll just ask ibrahim to help me on this one.

im just gonna get my older son to do his activities that he does and in front of him let him see the work he's done, in one dedication to me with my name on it instead of mommy and hopefully he'll get it from there. like if he asks is that your mommy's name he'll realize his mistake than realize that we did correct him on it but he didnt hear or understand.
Allahu Alim
jazakuAllahkhairun for all the help.