How to respond to such a question?

[Abu_Dahdah]

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah,

Today I was wondering about an interesting scenario:

Let's say someone comes and asks you: What do you think about so and so? What do you say to such a person? E.g. if you actually say: "I don't want to talk about this as I don't want to backbite", you have actually fallen into backbiting!

So how do we go about responding?!?

[Abu_Dahdah]

The best I can think of: "I don't feel comfortable talking about people who are not present" or "He's a great brother mashaAllah"

[shakibbhat]

Yet to create a thought for him..

[ankaboot]

There have been many instances when people came and said something similar about other sisters, I usually tell them that the sister they want to talk about is much better than me and has so many good qualities and I wish I had some of her good qualities, I say a few more positive things about the person they want to talk about and that's it, they either change the subjuct or move away because I am not fun.

Salaams.

[Abu_Dahdah]

There have been many instances when people came and said something similar about other sisters, I usually tell them that the sister they want to talk about is much better than me and has so many good qualities and I wish I had some of her good qualities, I say a few more positive things about the person they want to talk about and that's it, they either change the subjuct or move away because I am not fun.

Salaams.

Good stuff mashaAllah. It's true - most people ask that question with the expectation that you will say something negative and then they can chip in to turn it into a "good conversation". If you only mention good qualities about the person, that puts them off as you are seen as a "party-pooper", if you will excuse the use of the term.

Jazaki Allah

[verdana]

Let's say someone comes and asks you: What do you think about so and so?

Usually I keep a good hammer for such occasions to smash his head off.

[xs11ax]

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah,

Today I was wondering about an interesting scenario:

Let's say someone comes and asks you: What do you think about so and so? What do you say to such a person? E.g. if you actually say: "I don't want to talk about this as I don't want to backbite", you have actually fallen into backbiting!

So how do we go about responding?!?

how does saying the above fall into backbiting?

[NNoor]

how does saying the above fall into backbiting?

I guess because it implies you have something negative to say about the person. You could just say "I don't really know him/her that well, but s/he seems nice enough".

[Haq Chaar Yaar]

Is it backbiting, if the words are not spoken?

We're always mentally judging people, sometimes positively, sometimes neagtively - Isn't it the expressing of these thoughts & opinions, whether that be orally or in writing, that classifes as backbiting?

[Abu_Dahdah]

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah,

Imam Nawawi in his al-adhkar says that backbiting can happen both directly and indirectly. So if one doesn't explicitly mention a bad quality of a person but mentions something like "Allah forgive us" or "Allah save us" then it is definitely backbiting.

So yeah - I guess when you say "I don't want to backbite him" you have already made it known that the person has some bad qualities.

Hammers - Sounds like a good idea! Might give that a try!

Allah knows best.