I am a 20 something year old woman and not only am I new to Islam, but, I am new to the city I live in.
I just recently moved to Denver, CO.
No family here at all and no friends.
I took my Shahada two months ago for all the wrong reasons, but still, with good intentions (however, that topic is for another post).
My problem now is, I live alone in a city where I know no one.... And i want to know someone !!
I grew up as a Christian and no matter where I lived, when I found a new church home, I felt welcomed. It was inviting and the women were amiable.
There were church groups and meetings. Social events. After Church it was never uncommon to have small dinners at times or be invited out. Discussing life and religion and being TAUGHT what you did not know.
Cant make it to church on Sunday morning? Thats ok !
Sunday Night Service, Tuesday Missionary meeting and prayer, Wednesday night bible study, Youth group, Women's group and Men's group meetings, Friday Night service, Saturday Day, choir rehearsal.
My point is, there was always an opportunity to go, hear about God, and meet new, like-minded people.
And if you were shy, they seemed to be understanding and tried to make you feel at home if you were new and unsure.
But now I go to Masjid when I can for Khutba and i know Saturday the Masjid has their community night after Fajr Prayer....
But I never get to go since i'm currently working in the retail industry.
That generally means Friday, Saturday and Sunday are taken up by work most of the day and/or evening.
I've tried to make other Prayers during the week on my days off, but have found, there are no women.
I want to learn, I want to be a part of the community, I want to make new friends.... But i cant find the community.
The few times i was able to make it for Khutba, everyone rushed out hurriedly and and weren't talking really. I felt odd hanging around.
The most anyone has said to me was after my shahada when they welcomed me into the faith. I haven't had a Hug, hand shake or as much as a hello since that day.
I dont know the protocol. I dont know how to pray. I dont know who to act. I dont know how to meet these women.
Which makes it more saddening for me because i desperately want to.
My understanding is that you should surround yourself with people you aspire to be like, but how can I when i dont know how to fit into this circle.
when i see them, I try to speak and be polite.
I try to ask questions or start a conversation.
But it gets me now where fast.
I know its my fault too. I have an introverted personality. I'm really a very shy person.
So when i approach people and see i'm getting no where, it scares me.
I find myself left wondering if i was being offensive since I dont know what i'm allowed to do.
I dont know how not to be rude or seen as wrong.
I'm just trying to live right.
Not hanging out with people that get drunk. Not dating anymore.
I try to teach myself by looking online and learning about Allah and His Prophets, the Quran, Hadiths...
I wear hijab, i try to dress modestly and not show anything no matter how Fat it makes me look lol
I try to live hijab mentally and not just physically...
But this is the loneliest I've ever been.
I'm sorry if I just sound like i'm being a baby, i'm just so lost....
Do any other Reverts have this problem??