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Thread: Advice of al-Khattab (ra) to his son

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    Default Advice of al-Khattab (ra) to his son

    http://fajr.wordpress.com/

    “… O my son, be conscious of Allah and be in his obedience. Stay away from His prohibitions by following the Sunnah and the milestones (on this path) until your faults are rectified and coolness is brought to your eyes. Truly, nothing is hidden to Allah.

    I have written down some characteristics for you and I have drawn up a plan for you. If you memorise it, understand it and follow it, you will fill the eyes of kings, be followed by the poor and destitute, and you will always be hoped for; a superior who will always be needed and people shall desire what lies with you….

    ‘Obey your father, restrict your advice to him, open your heart to him and pay close attention to this. Beware of excessive speech, beware of laughing and joking too much, and beware of belittling your friends, because that does away with beauty and instead creates rancour and enmity. Always be dignified and composed but let not arrogance be described of you nor let haughtiness and pride be related from you. Meet both your friend and enemy with a face of goodness & pleasure and prevent harm without humiliating yourself for them or standing in awe of them.

    Be moderate in all your affairs, for truly the best of affairs lies in their moderation. Lessen your speech, spread the greeting of peace, walk with strength and purpose and do not drag your feet or tug on your clothes… Do not look here and there, turning about too much and do not stop by the groups of people that gather. Do not make the market the place of your hang out, nor take the shops as a place to sit and talk. Don’t always argue, and do not debate with the foolish ones; if you speak, be concise, and if you joke then limit your jokes…

    Let your sitting be one of calmness, and let your speech be divided (i.e. let others speak too). Attribute the goodly words to those who said them to you without displaying amazement, and do not always ask for questions to be repeated… Don’t speak too much about your admiration for your children, your maid, your horse or your sword, and beware of relaying your dreams because if you are amazed by them, the foolish will display desire towards that and they will make up dreams for you and then discredit your intelligence…

    Do not teach your family –and those other than them even more so- how to count your money, for if they see you possessing little, you will become lowly to them, and if they see you possessing much, you will not be able to satisfy or please them…

    If you fall into argument, then have respect and do not show ignorance. Steer clear from haste and think about your proofs and points of argument… If someone proves ignorant towards you, then forebear it, and only speak when your anger resides… Protect your honour and cast away excessiveness from yourself. If the ruler draws you close, then beware of him, and if he shows delight at your presence, then do not feel safe from him suddenly changing towards you.

    If you promise, fulfil your promise and if you speak, speak only the truth. Choose the best of words when you do speak and if you narrate something you heard, then attribute those words to their speaker… Truthfulness is a beauty and lies are a disgrace; a truth which brings about the downfall of a person has better outcomes than a lie which saves him. Imitate the people of virtue and understanding; and you shall soon be amongst them.

    Know that every person is only where they place themselves , and every worker will have their work attributed to them. A man is known by his close companions; so beware of evil brethren because they betray those who accompany them and grieve the one who befriends them… Brethren are of two types: the one who preserves you at the time of calamities, and the one who befriends you at the time of ease and goodness. So preserve the friend who was there during the difficulties and abandon the one who’s there only in times of ease for they are the worst of enemies…

    And whoever follows his desires, they shall cast him to his destruction. Do not be surprised by short-tempered men and do not belittle those of thin physique for a person’s essence only lies in two components: his heart and his tongue…

    Protect yourself from corruption, even if you are in the lands of the enemy. Do not spread down your honour to one who is beneath you, and do not allow your wealth to mean more to you than your honour. Do not increase your speech such that you become burdensome to the people. Smile at those who sit with you and accept the one who comes to meet you…

    O my son, the wife of a man is his means of serenity, and there is no life worthwhile by contradicting her. So if you wish to marry a woman, then ask about her family, for it is the goodly roots that bear the sweetest fruits. And know that women are extremely different to one another just like the fingers on a hand are different to each other…’”

    “… O my son, may Allah make you from those who follow the guidance, who achieve piety, who steer clear from the wrath of Allah and love His Pleasure. I place you in the care of Allah after I’m gone, and He is in charge of your affairs. There is no strength or power except in Allah the Most High and Great, and may Allah send His peace and blessings upon the Prophet of Guidance, and upon his family.”


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    Senior Member abd7861's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice of sayidinah umar to his son



    There is a reason why Allah chose the Sahaabah. This letter demonstrates the reason why. And people want to choose a way other than their way!

    May Allah forgive us and bless us with the ni'mah of being able to follow in their footsteps as much as possible and to love them with an abounding love.

    for this beautiful piece brother London786. May Allah reward you in both worlds and make your reckoning easy.



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    Default Re: Advice of sayidinah umar to his son

    Do not teach your family –and those other than them even more so- how to count your money, for if they see you possessing little, you will become lowly to them, and if they see you possessing much, you will not be able to satisfy or please them…
    this reminds me of my Father. My mother and we children never knew correctly how much my Father earned. Lol. But there was always food on the table . He passed away 2 years back, May Allah protect him from trials of the grave and give him Jannatul Firdaws. Ameen.

    A New forum for seeking Ilm.




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    Default Re: Advice of sayidinah umar to his son




    Each word if pondered yields 1000 of wise (hikmah) & ways to live life.Please keep posting such message always..


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    Default Re: Advice of sayidinah umar to his son

    Quote Originally Posted by amr123 View Post
    this reminds me of my Father. My mother and we children never knew correctly how much my Father earned. Lol. But there was always food on the table . He passed away 2 years back, May Allah protect him from trials of the grave and give him Jannatul Firdaws. Ameen.
    Ameen,have hope on ALLAH,do istagfar daily for him


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    Default Re: Advice of sayidinah umar to his son

    Quote Originally Posted by Aftab Siddiqui-India View Post
    Ameen,have hope on ALLAH,do istagfar daily for him
    Great advices. How many fathers advise their children in such a manner? Heck, today fathers need advising more than the children


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    Default Re: Advice of sayidinah umar to his son

    “… O my son, the wife of a man is his means of serenity, and there is no life worthwhile by contradicting her. So if you wish to marry a woman, then ask about her family, for it is the goodly roots that bear the sweetest fruits. And know that women are extremely different to one another just like the fingers on a hand are different to each other, so guard yourself against every foul-mouthed one who has the tendency to cause harm.

    From amongst them (women) is she who is most impressed with herself and who belittles her husband. If he honours her, she sees it to be due to her virtue over him. She does not thank for the (abundant) good, nor is she content with the little she receives from him. Her tongue against him is like a polished sword; and this has lifted the covering of shyness from her face. She is not ashamed of her faults, nor is she shy of her neighbours. She’s like a growling dog (ouch!), quarrelsome, biting and voracious. So the face of her husband becomes wounded and his honour abused. She does not preserve him neither in Deen (religion) nor in Dunya (worldly matters), and she does not care for his companionship nor does she increase him in offspring. His ‘hijab’ (covering) has been torn down by her, his ‘sitr’ (veil) has been widely spread out (i.e. his secrets and private affairs revealed), and all his goodness has been buried (forgotten). He wakes up depressed and spends the evening rebuking/scolding. His drink is bitter, his food in anger, and his children astray. His house is in ruins, his clothes dirty, and his hair messy. If he laughs, it’s without spirit, and if he talks, it’s out of coercion. His days are like night and his nights are full of woe. She has bitten him like a ravenous snake and stung him like a scorpion.

    And from amongst them is the lazy, tipsy, obscene woman who rages, threatens, devises and has a quagmire of poison with her. She goes with the wind and flies with every bird. If her husband says ‘No’ she says ‘Yes’ and if he says ‘Yes’ she says ‘No.’ She brings shame to him and belittles all that’s in his hands. She puts forward parables for him and puts him down/lowers him beneath other men. She takes him from one state to another until his house fills with hate, his children bored and his livelihood scarce without blessing. He becomes lowly to his own self, until his friends reject him and his neighbours feel sorry for him.

    And from amongst them is the foolish unwise woman, who places things in the wrong place, slurs her speech and takes what does not belong to her. She’s content and relies on his love, is pleased with his earnings but she consumes like a grazing donkey. Her radiance is seen but her voice is not heard, her house is not swept, her food is stale and her cooking pots are marked with residue! Her dough is sour, her water not cool, her goods cultivated, her utensils out of reach, her servant is often beaten and her neighbours deprived.

    Then from amongst them (i.e. the one to look for) is the compassionate, tender, loving woman, who is blessed, affectionate and trustworthy when absent. She is beloved by her neighbours and is praiseworthy both inwardly and outwardly. A generous wife, full of virtue & morals and is not one to raise her voice. Her house is clean, her servant well-fed and her children look good. Her goodness is long-lasting and her husband joyful. She is dearly loved, familiar and harmonious. Modesty, integrity, and goodness is often attributed to her…”
    Some parts were translated later. Extremely good advice


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    Default Re: Advice of sayidinah umar to his son

    Actually, it says on sister Fajr's blog that this advice was by Al-Khattab ibn al-Mu`alla' al-Makhzumi (rahimahullah) and not 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (radhiallahu `anhu).


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    Default Re: Advice of sayidinah umar to his son

    Quote Originally Posted by Umm al-Khayr View Post
    Actually, it says on sister Fajr's blog that this advice was by Al-Khattab ibn al-Mu`alla' al-Makhzumi (rahimahullah) and not 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (radhiallahu `anhu).
    Oh, for pointing that out. But the advice is still a really good one. Who was he by the way?


    @London
    You better change the heading.

    A New forum for seeking Ilm.




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    Senior Member Amaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice of sayidinah umar to his son



    The best ever gift given by any father to his son...


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