Okay so this is probably going to be long, brace yourselves ...
I want to give you a little background of my belief before I get bashed by some Shia
I was bought up as a Shia...went to Majilis as a child, was forced to cry in Muharram lol ok not forced but you weren't a cool kid back then if you didn't shed a tear and I watched back as every year we beat ourselves and wailed and kissed the (I actually don't know the name for it) things that looked like a coffin with blood splattered over it (well red coloring) and I even remember eating a rose of it lol...this is so messed up ! I guess it isnt a laughing matter but even as a kid i never understood the significance of all this and till this day can never accept this as part of Islam. Most of my family are Shia, infact some were Sunni's but then "saw the light" as they like to put it and followed the Shia belief. My mum however is not a shia, she comes from a sunni family but I suppose when she married my dad she strayed for a while, either that or she didn't see it as anything that was out of the ordinary. My father a very devout Shia then and now. The thing is at a young age I saw myself constantly questioning the Shia belief and my heart could never accept there way. When I was 17 I bought myself the translation of the Quran thinking once I read this I will be able to find my answers, don't get me wrong the answers were in there but my intelligence didn't match up for me to be able to understand it. So I carried on, and once again Islam knocked on my hearts door and I reached out and got knocked back because I was surrounded by some very arrogant and stern friends who were shia, and although I wasn't that knowledgeable in Islam I had a thousand questions and often I felt they took advantage of my lack of intelligence and shot me down for even questioning my belief. So once again, I decided not to look into it...so much time passed and It had been almost 2 years since I had even prayed, which makes me really sad and I hate to admit it but thats the truth. I was living away at university and it made me realise being miles away from home how much I lacked something and felt a void in my heart it wasn't me being homesick, rather I felt no peace in myself because I was so far from Islam, this one particular night I felt scared I cant remember why, so I asked my very 'knowledgeable' friend what dua to read and he said read 'nade ali' its a dua in which you call out to Hazrat Ali to protect you...I refused, and this friend told me I wasn't a muslim if i didn't call out to Ali, of course the conversation ended and so did our friendship because he just decided to put a fatwa out on me lol
I decided that I need to try again, so I opened the Quran once again in hope of some answers and I read a random Surah and this verse bought tears to my eyes because I was so frustrated for so long and this one verse answered all my questions 'Do then those who disbelieve think that they can take my slaves as Auliya besides me? Verily, we have prepared hell as an entertainment for the disbelievers' Surah Kahf-102. This was not only for the Christians and Jews, its for every other sect, religion or cult that calls on anyone else besides Allah. Some other Surahs which really stuck out for me were :
'Verily, those who divide their religion and break up into sects, you (O Muhammed pbuh) have no concern in them in the least. Their affair is only with Allah, who then will tell them what they used to do' (Surah Al-Anaam 160)
He causes the night to enter in upon the day, and He causes the day to enter in upon the night, and He has made subservient (to you) the sun and the moon; each one follows its course to an appointed time; this is God, your Lord, His is the kingdom; and those whom you call upon besides Him do not control a straw. If you call on them they shall not hear your call, and even if they could hear they shall not answer you; and on the resurrection day they will deny your associating them (shirk) (with God); and none can inform you like the One Who is Aware. (Quran 35:13-14)
Have you considered what you call upon besides God? Show me what they have created of the earth, or have they a share in the heavens? Bring me a book before this or traces of knowledge, if you are truthful. And who is in greater error than he who calls besides God upon those that will not answer him till the day of resurrection and they are heedless of their call? (Quran 46:4-5)
Anyway all praises to the one and only Allah swt, lord of the Heavens and the earth I was guided I lost so many friends because I denounced the Shia belief, but I didn't care and I still couldn't care less....but even though I had denounced it I still wasn't practicing, but this Ramadan I sat for itikaaf in the last 10 days and not only have I become practicing, but I feel at peace and when me and my cousins are having discussions on Islam I find this sudden rush of knowledge that I never knew even existed, every time I read the Quran I didn't know it really stuck in my head like that. That was my downfall all these years and every time I pray tahhujud I always ask for knowledge and subhanallah my lord is the best of planners.
What hurts me the most is, I have found the right way call it Sunni or whatever, to me its Islam which makes me a Muslim not a shafi or malaki or whatever because quiet honestly I think all these other sects are stuck in the same rut like Shia..so busy trying to prove to others that you're the right way that you forget what being a Muslim is, you forget the logical meaning behind the wisdom of the Quran but most importantly you forget that there is only one book and it is so simple, Allah swt has said I have made this book so simple for you to understand yet there are always trolls out there complicating such a beautiful and simple religion, in fact they are no different to atheists -too busy convincing others of their way because in reality they are just convincing themselves. Anyway again I have gone off track you see why I titled this a 'rant' lol ..my family have turned against me, my own father said to me to ask the ahlulbayat for anything you want and you will get it not by all this praying you do, you're not good enough to ask Allah directly, even though I explained it to him he just laughed at me and said 'go on, go ask your god and see if he answers your prayers' sarcastically. Whilst all this some of my cousins have denounced the Shia way not because I forced them but because they asked me questions and I didn't give my opinions i just told them what the Quran says and suddenly I am a wahabi and its just turned so nasty! I have had it up to here and I think I am just tired, because for once I don't want to fight anyone or prove anyone wrong I just want to be left alone to do my thing. People are telling me that I am hypocrite and that Surah Munafiqueen was written for people like me (they say this because Shia's believe it was written for abu baker, umar and usman -May allah's peace and blessings be upon them). If I go to the mosque I get laughed at because I'm going to the ''baker' mosque, I prayed in my cousins car and she said why the f%%% you gotta do that here. I get told off for not reading on the stone I can't even begin to explain the **** I have to put up with and although I know I shouldn't let this get to me but the truth is I wish i could burn my bridges with them but a Muslim should always keep good ties with their families. Which means I am left in the middle, I honestly don't know what to do...and this Muharram was even worse because all the Shia's are on a hype anyway and then I come trotting along lol the ultimate Yazid in their eyes (yep I have been called that) makes you think you can't please anyone, this is why I'm done pleasing people but I'm now on crossroads with some really close family and I feel lost because in the end I'm left alone and it shouldn't have to be like that but it is... I saw some other posts and you guys give out some great advice so please help a sister out here. What would you guys do in my situation? need some inspiration here!Sorry I am such a downer but lately their doesn't seem much to smile about and in the end I don't fancy living alone with my 10 cats because I get disowned by everyone for being a Muslim....